Hard in Hightown
by xmanabeex
Summary: Hazel 'Kimi' Hawke lives a very secluded lifestyle. When online gaming becomes a hobby, how will it affect her life? How will she cope with a certain deal made with her uncle, and when a certain brooding man catches her eye online one day? AU: Modern Thedas. *semi-canon* *rated M for future chapters* *rape/non-con*
1. Chapter 1

**So... this is my first fic, I should be updating weekly but updates could be quicker/slower b'cuz I'm a student. I should probably mention that I'm dyslexic, I've tried to minimise spelling mistakes and I've used spell-check AND have proof read this chapter (and will do with all chapters) but there's probably some mistakes I have missed... so please don't hate me :'( The site said something about double spacing, so I spent like half an hour trying to sort that out, if the format looks messed up I'll amend it though :') The ship, as hopefully obvious, is eventual Hawke x Fenris... This chapter probably seems slow, heavy with descriptions, but I wanted to get all the descriptions out of the way in the introduction, so I won't need to keep repeating myself or referring to old info. I don't know what else to put here apart from disclaimers? All characters etc. belong to Bioware, any brands, software, bands songs or lyrics etc. I've mentioned don't belong to me, and I've put them in italics.**

 **Thanks for reading :'3**

* * *

Chapter One

Hazel 'Kimi' Hawke was 18 years old, she had just begun her gap year when she brought a new MMORPG that was a somewhat medieval action-adventure, she thought. Her mother, Leandra, had told her to stop wasting her time away by watching "those Japanese cartoons" … anime - so she decided to get more into gaming. She had enjoyed playing _Skyrim_ and _The Witcher_ on her PC, but when anime took over her life she couldn't help but favour one over the other.

It wasn't too long ago that she had come home from the local game store, and began installing _Dragon Age Online_ on her computer. She had noticed that her sister hadn't come back from school yet, and her mother wasn't home either - leaving her alone with a drunken Gamlen who was face down on the counter top in the kitchen.

 _'At least he's asleep … unlike all the other times.'_ She shuddered at the thought of his hands ghosting over her breasts. Kimi couldn't bring herself to tell her mother what Gamlen would do to her when no one was there. They had made a deal when Kimi had first found out about Gamlen's drinking habits, when they first came to Kirkwall from Ferelden; that in exchange for free accommodation, she was to … _service_ his intoxicated desires. And she couldn't say no to him, they had nowhere else to stay after Kirkwall's refugee situation got out of hand - due the pandemic that had swept across her rural homeland. Gamlen was careful about the deal too, he hadn't taken her virginity, or else Leandra or any future partner Kimi may have could find out. It was strictly oral, and she always wondered how he kept the whole virginity part of the agreement when he was utterly inebriated - not that she wanted to know, anyway.

She crept down the stairs and into the pigsty of a kitchen to get a smoothie from the fridge, keeping a close eye on Gamlen the whole time and eyeing the two bottles of rum that were next to him. _'Maker he needs to quit, or die from alcohol poisoning soon',_ she thought as a smirk spread across her face at the thought of the latter idea. Kimi closed the fridge door quietly, and crept past Gamlen, through the hallway and up the old wooden staircase into her and Bethany's room.

Not that there was anything special about the stairs, the flooring of the house was made up of aged wooden planks, the walls were made of worn brick and plaster that was once white she assumed, but now a more grey colour from the years of dirt and smoke in the air from Gamlen's fags. There wasn't much in the way of furniture either, just the essentials both downstairs and upstairs - apart from in Kimi and Beth's room. When fleeing Lothering Kimi carried both of the sisters clothes in two suitcases, and Bethany hauled the gaming PC, monitor and accessories in a suitcase. Their room had all the basics much like downstairs, apart from the desk which had the PC tower, monitor, keyboard and mouse on top - the most expensive things in Gamlen's poor excuse of a home.

Kimi was laying on her bed playing on her phone when a notification sound came from her computer. She lept up excitedly and read the pop-up that was displayed on the screen of her monitor:

 _Dragon Age Online_ is now installed!

Play Now Read User Manual

Kimi hurriedly clicked on the 'Play Now' option, and settled in the desk chair, wrapping herself up in the thin plaid patterned blanket that draped on the back of it.

 _'I can't wait to see what this is like! The reviews said it was alright ... I wonder if i join any cool guilds … what if I meet a super hot guy who romantically revives me in a battle and we become a THING! … I hope there's good character customisation or else I'm getting a refund …'_

Thoughts and feelings were buzzing around in her mind, ignorant to what was soon to come.

* * *

 _Six months later ..._

' _I… need… caffeine..'_ Kimi thought to herself, fighting urge to fall asleep at her keyboard after trying to reach level 50 in the Deep Roads for at _least_ seven hours.

"Don't you dare fall asleep on me Hawke!", she heard Varric scream through her headset.

"Another * _yawn_ * ten minutes Varric * _yawn_ * or I won't get through work tomorrow" she managed to say, albeit semi-consciously.

"Hawke, just hold on until you reach level 50, then we will allow you to rest..." she heard her companion Aveline say sternly, yet in a caring manner. "...It shouldn't be long judging from your XP bar."

"Okay guys, I * _yawn*_ know you're all doing this for me, * _yawn*_ afterall". This was true. Herself, Aveline, and Varric were the only ones in the guild awake, so Aveline had suggested that she and Varric they farmed for miscellaneous objects and trinkets, whilst Kimi 'trained'.

Dragon Age Online was her favourite MMORPG at the moment, upgrading her PC just to play it with as little lag as her wallet would allow. Yet, despite the hundred or so hours playing… she was utterly _shit._ She was a running joke in her guild _Hard in Hightown_ , Varric only keeping her in because of her extensive lore knowledge, Kimi thought - so she dedicated herself to reading upon the lore, in order to make up for her lack of skill in combat. She had insisted to herself she wanted to follow the archery class, having a passion for stealth in other games, but the more she tried the worse it seemed she got despite levelling up - having to constantly rely on the healer in the guild, Anders, to revive her.

' _You can do this! You're a Hawke afterall. Just one more Hurlock-"_

Her trail of thought was interrupted by the in-game music. The music that meant a character had levelled up. The sweet sound that she had been battling Hurlock after Hurlock for just over seven hours for.

"YATTAAAAA!" she bellowed down the mic piece and fist pumping the air, resulting in several words of disapproval from both the warrior and rogue.

"Y'really ought to lay off that anime, Hawke, we wouldn't want you to sprout eyes half the size of your pretty face now would we?" Varric jested.

"Of _course_ not my dear dwarven companion," she smirked at her web camera "but lemme just celebrate this fine achievement".

"Congrats Hawke, now choose a specialisation perk and go to bed", said Aveline, emphasizing the 'bed' part. Despite always being so harsh with her, Kimi knew that Aveline only did so for her benefit. Aveline was the mother figure of the guild, but if anyone told her so she would give them hell - Kimi chuckled at the thought. She also felt empathy towards her, after hearing her husband died from the same disease that nearly wiped out the population of Ferelden - including Kimi's brother.

"Okay okay! Goodnight guys, and thank you so much for staying up till…" she glanced at her clock, then at her phone, then back to the clock "5AM?!" ' _Oh shit, oh balls! I'll only get two hours sleep!'_ She screamed at herself, hoping the time on both her clock and phone were wrong.

"You're welcome, Kimi, I already finished my writing quota for today so it was no biggie, now get what little beauty sleep you can". Varric always spoke so kindly towards her, well, unless he was fighting in-game - then he couldn't give a nug's arse. For an author he spent a lot of time playing the game, being the second most online player.

"And I already said I have the day off tomorrow… or today, anyway, we did this for your benefit. Goodnight." said Aveline.

"G'night! I wuv you guys!" And with that she watched her monitor turn black as she switched off the plug to the extension lead that powered her beast of a computer. She rose from her seat,nearly falling over due to cramp, and tip-toed out her shared room and down the hall to the bathroom, attempting to make as little noise as possible - despite the shouting and screaming she already did, to avoid waking up her sister and mother, and her uncle Gamlen - but failing when the floorboards creaked under her weight.

' _How hasn't this house killed someone… the floor has holes in for Maker's sake_. _As soon as I get enough money I'll happily remove myself and my family out of this poor excuse for a house that must be older than Gamlen and Mother put together.'_ she muttered inwardly to herself.

Upon entering the her bathroom she shivered at the coldness of the broken tiled floor. Kimi walked over to the sink, brushed her teeth, removed her makeup and moisturized her face. Kimi stared at herself long and hard in the small mirror that sat on the basin propped up against the wall, as she did almost every night. A gaming marathon wasn't the best way to maintain a pretty appearance. Her long pastel purple hair was thick with grease, and full fringe plastered to her forehead, despite cleaning it. Her pale blue eyes were bloodshot due to being glued to a computer screen for too long, and to make everything worse she was beginning to have dark patches under her eyes from lack of sleep.

Her eyes stared into her reflection's until her view became hazy. ' _Who even is Hazel Kimi Hawke…'_ she thought, but quickly put her inhibition away before more negative thoughts came to mind, and tied up her hair with the wine coloured scrunchie that she always wore on her wrist.

Kimi hurriedly stripped down to her underwear and bra, and examined herself in the large free standing mirror in the corner of the bathroom. To anyone else it would be too small, but she was just over 5ft, so she managed to fit into the frame without standing far away.

"At least going to gym and gaming at night works out well … I don't have to worry about my weight like Varric does!" she laughed at the memory of the dwarf finally admitting he was much too heavy for his height, "Though, I am gaining a slight muffin top." She said disappointedly albeit quietly, prodding the layer of fat that threatened to dominate her lower abdomen.

Kimi had a slim but slightly muscular figure, her bust was a 34D, and her waist was narrow, but her hips were wider - which together gave her an hourglass figure. Her arse muscles were toned and yet a decent size, as well as her thighs, granting her a small thigh gap, her calves were slim. As much as she tended to her figure - working out at the local gym regularly, she felt as if something was missing; she couldn't figure out what it was.

Kimi ended the bad thoughts again, and put on an overly large plain grey t-shirt that she swiped from her bedroom earlier, which came down to mid-thigh level, and walked briskly yet quietly to her bedroom, hoping to avoid a drunken Gamlen yet again. She removed her black push up balcony bra and flung it into her wash basket with her pants, leapt into her bed and let her tiredness almost claim her.

At night she would imagine being at least a _semi-good_ player, knowing she could never be as good at combat as the Guard-Captain Aveline - earning the title after completing so many NCP side quests, the archer Varric, who recruited her into the guild in the first place, and the rest of the guild who had gone to bed long before she had.

She thought about the relatively new friends she had made, only having the game for just over six months. She still didn't know if she could trust the blood mage Merril not to kill everyone, or Daisy as Varric would call her, making her slightly jealous. Anders seemed like a nice guy, though he was invested in immersing himself with the game lore about mages. The more flirtatious member of the guild, Isabella, was her friend in primary school, before Kimi's family was forced to move from Ferelden to Kirkwall due to the outbreak of a pandemic - which scientists later found out was a more intense strain of the plague, turning people into a zombie-like state. She had no idea Isabella played the game, much less survived the disease that swept through her homeland. Kimi only discovered after she was added to the mobile group chat, and recognised Izzy's face from her profile picture. It was quite the reunion, never mind it being held over an incredibly awkward _Skype_ call.

It was only over video chatting that she realised all the guild member's characters had a shocking resemblance to their actual appearance...

… apart from Fenris.

Kimi didn't know how he looked. He had joined not too long after herself, but she could already see that he had been playing for much much longer. He had said previously in the guild chat in-game that he couldn't Skype call or use the audio chat feature in-game, as he could only play when he visited his local library due to not owning a computer of his own. Thus, out of courtesy they would avoid doing so when he was online. Despite lacking his own PC, he would come online almost every evening to play, almost all day in the weekends. His level of commitment to the game astonished her, either that or he simply have no life.

Kimi wanted to see and hear him so badly, his character was easily identifiable as the most attractive out of the whole guild, the fact he chose the elf race was already a headstart in her eyes, but with his dove white hair and tanned skin - and those strange markings that granted him legendary ranked powers, Fenris won her heart by a mile. Unlike Isabella and the other members, the elf had no profile picture on the group chat (out-of-game), the thought had obviously crossed her mind that he could be in fact a middle-aged obese male, living with his parents and suffering from extreme shyness - but she was holding onto a small thread of hope that he looked somewhat like his character - she always had a _thing_ for elven avatars.

She smiled at the thought of eventually meeting up with the guild, seeing all her friends in person and actually being able to say to her mother she _had_ friends. Snuggling into her blanket, she fell into a deep sleep.

* * *

Kimi awoke the next day to her alarm, which was blasting the beginning of _Pacify Her._ She hummed the tune as she tried to rid the tiredness from herself at 7am, still immensely fatigued from gaming not even two hours prior.

Kimi worked at a café not too far from Gamlen's house. Her manager didn't care much for uniform, as long as her workers wore decent smart-casual clothing. Kimi opened her wardrobe, when one of the doors came off it's hinges.

" _Balls..."_ she whispered in a frustrated tone, making sure to not wake up Bethany. She sighed and put the door on the floor.

"Why does everything in this house fall apart…" she said in a depressed tone. She dug out a plain black t-shirt and a tartan pleated skirt from the now broken wardrobe, and went into the drawers below to get a pair of black tights and knickers. Kimi then picked up the bra that she had flung carelessly the night before and proceed to the bathroom.

She had a quick shower ridding the grease from her hair and face, using bubblegum scented shampoo and shower gel. She then towel dried her body and hair and got dressed quickly in case Gamlen was awake. Her t-shirt was tucked into the skirt which slightly emphasised her bust, the skirt sat between the bottom of her bra and belly button, and rested at mid thigh level. The tights she chose were about 50 denier, and she was pretty sure they were in fact Bethany's.

Kimi then went back to her bedroom and too the corner where a tall mirror stood, and applied her concealer, foundation and powder to her face and neck, adding 3 shades of plum eyeshadow and black mascara to her eyes afterwards - then applied a generous amount of _Lynx Attract_ which she fetched from her rucksack on the floor.

She checked herself over and picked up the locket that hung from a nail hammered in the frame - the locket that her deceased father gave to her before he died.

Malcolm Hawke was killed in a hit and run by a suspected drunk driver, after taking Bethany to her friend's party. The rest of the Hawke family just made it to the Hospital before the surgeons took him away for surgery, when Malcolm decided in his semi-conscious state, due to blood loss, to give Kimi the locket that was given to him by his father, ' _just in case'_ he said.

He died on the operating table, and his family never truly recovered.

Kimi grabbed her small tan leather rucksack, put her phone in there and ran downstairs to the shoe rack underneath the staircase. She put on her black monochrome sneakers - before glancing at the clock that hung slanted on the wall, which read 7:20AM. ' _I won't have time to eat breakfast after all',_ she thought disappointedly _._ The café opened at 9AM, but her work started an hour earlier, preparing the tables and cutlery, and cooking the pastries and cakes that the café served.

Kimi grabbed her keys from a pot that sat on the end table next to the front door and went out the house, locking the door behind her. In Gamlen's neighbourhood it was better to keep doors and windows locked even if people are still inside.

She began the five minute walk to the train station, hopped on the train to Hightown and began the forty minute train ride to her workplace, listening to her music playlist that consisted of multiple genres of music - some rock, pop, J-rock and K-pop both from anime openings and genuine interest in the genres, and some alternative bands and groups. She was disturbed from her disguised headbanging when she heard her phone _ping_ \- a message from the _Hard in Hightown_ group chat.

 **Anders [sir_pounce_alot], 7:25AM**

\- anyone else is awake at this fine hour?

She couldn't get over the fact his username was named after his rescue cat, even after 6 months of knowing the guy. She replied awkwardly whilst trying not to fall over; the train was crammed full at this hour, busy with all kinds of people getting to work - however this was the 7:24 train from Lowtown to Hightown, so there were a lot of funny characters riding with her.

 **Kimi [kimi_chan], 7:26AM**

\- me me me :'3

\- otw to work as usual at this *CORRECTION* unruly hour :')

 **Anders [sir_pounce_alot], 7:30AM**

\- hahaha Hawke

\- appreciate the morning sun before you develop blindness 10 years from now from playing too much DA Online…

\- trust me im a doctor ;-)

Anders was fun to talk to, when he wasn't preaching about mage rights in the game. He spoke in a calming way much like Varric, but the dwarf with more charisma. She had thought the reason Anders worked as a doctor was partly due to his kind and understanding personality.

 **Kimi [kimi_chan], 7:31AM**

\- I assure you I don't play THAT much :)

\- and that's the job of my optician, not you :P

 **Anders [ser_pounce_alot], 7:31AM**

\- oh rly? so how long did you, Varric, and Aveline farm/train for?

\- im sorry for tapping out so early on, I needed an early night

 **Kimi [kimi_chan], 7:33AM**

\- errm…

\- dont scream at me pweese

\- ...

\- 5AM BUT I SWEAR I DIDN'T KNOW I SWEAR!

Kimi held her phone in her hand by her side, she was genuinely scared that Anders would shout at her, when he was angry he was like an infuriated parent or teacher - which was why she tried not to annoy him as much as possible. All of a sudden her phone began to vibrate, playing the start of _Unravel_. She glanced at her phone to see that Anders was calling her, she mentally prepared herself for the screaming that was about to come from the speaker and-

"HAZEL HAWKE YOU ARE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE IF YOU WERE MY CHILD YOU WOULD BE ASLEEP BY 9PM I SWEAR ON MY LIFE VARRIC AND THE GUARD CAPTAIN HAVE NO COMMON SENSE KEEPING YOU UP SO LATE ON A WORK NIGHT AAGGHHH-", Anders ranted a bit more until Kimi interrupted him.

"Anders you _know_ I prefer being called Hawke or Kimi, it's _soooooo_ much cuter than Hazel, I mean my eyes aren't even the slightest bit hazel they're blue - a dazzling pale blue at that!" she grinned at herself before talking again and hearing Anders chuckle lightly from the other end of the call.

"And secondly you aren't my mother" she pouted. "I mean, there's been an opening as the role of a father for a while now but I don't thi-"

"No! No! That's horrible Hawke don't even suggest that! _Honestly_ you have no filter!" he exclaimed down the phone.

Her mobile pinged again but she ignored it, continuing her humourous conversation with Anders.

" _Perish_ the thought, I think you're a bit too young for my mother's taste. She prefers… you know… a man with a backbone…" Her phone pinged again and this time she minimised the call and opened the group chat.

 **Fenris [broody_elf], 7:37AM**

\- I agree. It is not beneficial to your health, Hawke.

 **Anders [sir_pounce_alot], 7:37AM**

\- At last we agree on something… _broody elf xD_

 **Fenris [broody_elf], 7:38AM**

\- Yes, it appears so.

\- You are aware of Varric hacking my account, yet you persist on teasing me?

 **Anders [sir_pounce_alot], 7:38AM**

\- Ur using your cell aren't you? Let's take this to group call ..insert angry emoji..

' _Group call? Oh no Fenris is gonna join the call and I'm gonna hear his voice for the first time!'_ Kimi thought panicking at the realisation.

 **Fenris [broody_elf], 7:39AM**

\- I cannot at the moment.

\- Do not assume that this is me backing out at the chance of putting you in your place, _mage._

\- I believe it is illegal to phone call and drive, am I right?

\- Wait. Who are you in a call to?

Kimi didn't know if she was sad or relieved that he couldn't call. She wanted to hear his voice so much that if she knew his address she would mail him a headset.

 **Anders [sir_pounce_alot] 7:40AM**

\- I use a bluetooth earpiece when I drive, I'm stuck in traffic anyway so technically I'm not driving :I

\- And I'm not telling

\- You'll have to join the call to find out :)

' _No Anders I'm not mentally prepared you can't do this to me what if I have a coughing fit and -'_ her thought path was interrupted by a deep, husky voice coming through her cell phone.

"There, _mage_ , are you satisfied now? This is Fenris speaking, who else is present?" Fenris spoke to the conference call.

"Oh fuck", Kimi thought weakly, then realised she had in fact spoke the said thought out loud.

"Oh! Hi Fenris... umm this is... Hawke… hello" she managed to say, she heard a strange sound come from her phone, then it registered that the sound was a chuckle, _Fenris's chuckle._

"You greeted me twice, Hawke" he said in a lighter tone than before, but the huskiness remained.

' _He must have just woken up',_ she thought.

Kimi laughed nervously. "So I did… I'm sorry I just… I haven't heard you speak before… it surprised me", she stammered, her voice still quivering. ' _Why am I so nervous?!'_

"I see", Fenris replied, sounding if he was contemplating something, "Was it a good surprise?"

Kimi gasped, nearly twisting her ankle as she stepped off the train.' _Is he flirting with me? What am I supposed to say to that?!'_

"I… erm… yes? I mean… I haven't heard it before so I didn't know what you sounded like… but now I do so… yes"

"Hmm…"

"Erm hello… you aren't the only ones in the conference call… I mean if you guys want some alone ti-" Anders butted into their conversation, and Kimi mentally thanked him for doing so, until she registered what he had said.

"NO!" Fenris and Kimi said simultaneously.

"I… uhh I'm at work now so I've gotta go… bye!", she said nervously as she hung up. She wasn't really close to the shop, she was about three blocks away.

She couldn't believe it, she smiled to herself reminiscing on the prior conversation. Her wish had finally come true - Fenris's voice was so dark and mysterious that she wondered what he looked like; in all the anime she had watched, the characters with deeper voices were usually the attractive ones. She tried to picture his face, but no image suited the voice, he sounded well educated - which was reflected in the way he would type messages, using excellent grammar. Kimi tried to calm herself, but her heart refused to. A _ping_ came from her phone - another message from the group chat, one that didn't help her situation at all. Another followed.

 **Fenris [broody_elf], 7:53AM**

\- Have a good day at work, Hawke.

' _Oh Maker',_ her heart started racing again, she could now read his messages in his voice.

 **Anders [sir_pounce_alot], 7:54AM**

\- I'm pretty sure she heard you before she hung up

 **Fenris [broody_elf], 7:54AM**

\- I merely wanted to make sure she did hear me.

\- If she didn't then it would be rude if I said nothing.

 **Kimi [kimi_chan], 7:55AM**

\- Guuyyys!

\- I thought you two stopped this whole angst business :'(

 **Anders [sir_pounce_alot], 7:55AM**

\- He insists 'mage' is 'simply a nickname'

\- So I insist that 'broody' is mine :)

 **Kimi [kimi_chan], 7:56AM**

\- Ah I see your friendship is blooming nicely :'3

\- It brings tears to my eyes I'm so proud

 **Fenris [broody_elf], 7:56AM**

\- I assure you, Hawke, that our relations with each other are far from friendship.

\- However, the mage's presence is becoming more tolerable, I will admit that much.

 **Anders [sir_pounce_alot], 7:57AM**

\- I

\- Erm

\- Thank you Fenris… I guess I could eventually regard you as a friend… I suppose

' _Oh my gosh Anders stop being so stubborn'_ she grimaced.

 **Fenris [broody_elf], 7:57AM**

\- If we are talking in terms of future, I would like to become friends with everyone in the guild.

She smiled at her phone screen, Fenris had said previously that all the clans he had been with before were either half dead or so absorbed in lore it was cringeworthy. This was the first guild where he could have friends, Kimi had thought at the time - and now he was beginning to make them. She wondered how Fenris viewed the relationship between her and himself.

With her face flushed red at the thought she opened the doors to the café - the mixed smells of coffee and cake hit her instantly. It was a modern café despite being situated on the border of Darktown and Hightown, so they got a mixture of customers coming through every day. It had a contemporary theme with dark floors and white walls, yet somehow still felt cosy. She walked towards the staff room, before a dark haired woman approached her with her arms crossed.

"What a pleasant surprise, the girl who always lectures others for being late to work is… let me see… one minute and thirty four seconds late" Morrigan sneered at her. "And what's this? You're flustered! Don't tell me you had a quick _scuffle_ before you arriv-"

"I DID NOT!" Kimi shouted "You know I don't _have_ anyone!" she pouted. She went into the staff room, got the key to her locker out her bag and opened it. She looked at her phone and typed a reply before putting both her phone and bag in her locker.

 **Kimi [kimi_chan], 8:02AM**

\- I'd like that, Fenris :')

She put on her white apron that hung from her peg and left the staff room. A loud growl came from her stomach which even Morrigan heard, and she was at the other end of the counter by the coffee machines several feet away.

"Hungry are we Hazel?" Morrigan mocked, whilst setting up the machines.

"Yes, I am, I didn't know you were so concerned in my health." Kimi replied. "Do you think Meredith will allow me to have breakfast for free?"

"Did you actually ask that?" Morrigan scoffed. "She would much sooner make a deal with demons to replace us workers". Kimi laughed wholeheartedly, their manager was an old crone like that.

"True, ah I'll just buy a panini before nine, at least then she can't complain about _losing money_ or something like that." She sighed before making two large round sponge cakes and putting them in in the oven behind the counter. It was Kimi's suggestion that the ovens and counters where they made and decorated the cakes and pastries should be visible to customers, as it would give them a reason to come into the shop and stay longer. Some customers even filmed them decorating the deserts, which she thought was strange; their café was famous in Kirkwall, but she didn't think decorating was that interesting to watch.

It was soon 9AM, and the morning rush of people came flooding in.

"Where is Zevran? He was supposed to be in an hour ago!" she shouted over to Morrigan and Feynriel - he was an apprentice but a skilled one.

"I don't know where that blighted man is! Text him!"

Morrigan said above the hubbub of angry customers late for work no doubt.

The doors to the café swung open, and a windswept Zevran entered and disappeared into the staff room without saying a word.

"I wonder what's wrong with him…" she mumbled to herself.

"Don't think too hard Kimi, you're in charge of food and a LOT of people are ordering", said Feynriel. He was one of the little people who actually called her by her nickname.

"Don't fret, I am here! Morrigan give me the orders, I shall have them done." said a thick Antivan accent.

"Zevran! You made me jump! Thank the Maker you're here", she hugged Zevran quickly and worked through the growing amount of orders.

It was nearing lunch time when Zevran asked her what got her so flustered.

"How did you know? Did Morrigan tell you?" she asked.

"Yes, you are usually so bubbly and… how do you weebs say it? _Kawaii._ " Zevran mocked. Customers came in much more slowly before lunch, then got busy again around 12PM.

"Ahh, well there's this guy… you know my guild?" she started.

"Ah, yes, _Hard in Hightown_ , am I correct?", Zevran used to play DA Online, but his social life soon took priority over playing.

"Yeah, this guy joined a little after I did and he's got that dark and mysterious personality and he doesn't have a headset or camera so no one knows what he looks like or sounds like and me and Anders were talking in a group chat call and he just joined AND I HEARD HIS VOICE AND IT'S SO SEXY UGHH", she blurted, repeatedly hitting her head off the counter to hide her flushed face, whilst Zevran was laughing hysterically - a couple customers turned to look at him giving disgusted looks. He finally calmed down and put his hands on her shoulders, looking at her seriously.

"So, you lust after this man, yes?", he dead-panned. Kimi choked on air and grabbed a handful of flour that she was using to make more muffins, and threw it in his face - forgetting that a CCTV camera was stationed directly above the counters were.

"HAZEL HAWKE COME TO THE OFFICE THIS INSTANT!", exclaimed her manager, Meredith.

"Oh shit…" she whispered and slapped her hands to her face, realising half her face was now white with flour.

"Have fun, my Hawke" Zevran jested, wiping off the flour with several tea towels.

She made her way to her boss's office and closed the door behind her. Nothing could prepare her for when her manager lectured, it was much worse than Anders.

"Care to explain why I just witnessed one of MY employees throwing condiments into another employee's FACE?", Meredith said sternly.

"I… umm… no.", she couldn't exactly tell her she was 'lusting after a man'.

"Good, because I don't care. See to it that you control your anger in the future, we have a reputation, Hawke. Now, leave."

Kimi fled out of Meredith's office and closed the door behind her, exhaling the breath she was subconsciously holding, quickly wiping the exceas flour from her face.

"Hazel, you have a customer, Feynriel went on his lunch break so it's just you doing the food for now", said Morrigan, with a lack of sympathy.

"Ah, okay." she replied and walked over to the counter, willing the tears that were forming in her eyes away, not taking notice of the appearance of the man stood at the front of the cue.

"Hi! What can I get you?", she gave him one of her signature grins, which fell from her face when she actually _looked_ at the man standing in front of her.

He had bleach white ruffled hair, tanned skin and large moss green eyes. His face was perfectly chiseled, yet soft at the same time, his ears slightly pointed. He wore a black crew neck t-shirt, grey hoodie and faded black slim fit jeans, with white monochrome _Vans_ \- as she saw from slyly peeking over the edge of the counter.

Kimi's eyes widened at the resemblance to a certain person's avatar. ' _It can't be…'_ she thought, she was snapped out of her hazed state when the man spoke.

* * *

 ***REVIEWS WELCOME***


	2. Chapter 2

**... So I can't get the double-space paragraph thingy do work lol, so that's annoying :(**

 **Also I said in the last chapter that the end result would be Fenris x Hawke, but I may/may not make a love-triangle before they eventually get together, after some consideration :D I also said I'd post weekly, but I've got a coursework deadline coming up next week so I might not be able to update, also I had this chapter already written anyways, so I uploaded it early, lucky you ;) On the subject of proof reading, if you see any grammatical mistakes inbox me or put it in a review so I can change it, I don't notice most of them until it's too late :'(**

 **ANYWAYS THANKS FOR READING :D**

* * *

Chapter 2

"Is there something wrong?", he asked while smirking, and there was no doubt about it - it was the same voice she had heard and spoken to in the morning. He was looking at her intently, leaning against the table.

"I… umm… no, I'm sorry hahaha, what did you want?" she asked nervously, ' _He sounds just like him! How can I be a hundred percent sure it's Fenris though?_ ' she pondered.

"A slice of that Victoria Sponge, please", he half-smiled at her still leaning against the counter, and lifted his finger in the direction of the said cake. She didn't know why but that subtle movement was so hot and his smile was so genuine that she didn't care if he was or wasn't Fenris.

"Ah, sure thing", she smiled back closing her eyes, then moved to cut the sponge cake but he interrupted her as she was about to slice it.

"I'm sorry, could I… erm… could you include that strawberry when you cut it? Please?"

' _He stammered! Oh my gosh he stammered!_ '. She was screaming inside, struggling to stay composed.

"Ah, sure!" slicing the cake she asked, "are you eating in or taking away?", when she got no reply she looked up and noticed he was staring at her. They both blushed, and she kept avoiding eye contact, to break the awkwardness he said he was eating in. She placed the cake on a small plate, and put a long fork next to it.

"Here," she slid the plate across the counter to him "that's two silvers, please", she said smiling and cocked her head to the side slightly to emphasise it. He gave her the money by sliding it on the table like she did, and she mentally thanked him, ' _I don't know what I would have done if our hands brushed together_ '.

The man sat down and began to eat his cake, and she sneaked over to Zevran and nudged his arm multiple times slyly. She spoke to Zevran about most things that happened in her life, mainly because they saw each other on a daily basis so she thought she may as well open up to him. Sure, she saw Morrigan just as often, but she made it obvious that she would never open up to Kimi - not that she minded, she rather not hear Morrigan's opinions about her life.

"Yes, yes, what is it I have customers to attend to." She look at him puzzled and gestured to the non-existent line.

"Okay you got me, what is it?", he said jokingly.

"The guy over there I think is the same guy I was talking about and I think he knows that I know him but I don't know if I know or if he knows that he knows me.", she blurted.

"... I don't get it", he said "say it again but talk slowly."

"The guy sat over _there_ ," she gestured slyly towards where the Fenris look-alike was sitting, "I have a feeling that's the guy I was talking to earlier, I mean he looks exactly like his avatar - minus the elf ears, obviously" she whispered, becoming overly paranoid that the Fenris doppelganger would hear.

"Well, how do you intend on proving its him? What if he isn't him? I sense a series of failed plans", he half smiled.

"I don't know…" she pondered, until she came up with an idea, "Aha!" she ducked behind the counter when she realised how loud her 'eureka' moment was, and that most of the customers turned to look at her, including that guy.

"Yes?", asked an amused Zevran, helping her back up.

"The group chat! I'll message it, if I see him look at his phone I'll know it's him!" she stood there, proud of her idea.

"That would be a good plan if your phone wasn't in your locker, also how would you know he isn't looking at another message?"

"I won't, I'll start chatting to him, it'll be obvious then, and _duhh_ , I'll go on my break now and-"

"No! Hazel you can't leave me please it's nearly time for the lunch rush!" he put his hands on her shoulders, shaking her violently.

"I'll be like 5 minutes… he's nearly finished his cake! I'll be right back I promise!" she said, hurrying to the staff room to get her mobile and some change for her lunch. She came back, sat at the counter with a tuna sandwich she bought, and messaged the group chat.

 **Kimi [kimi_chan], 12:12AM**

\- Ahh

\- Finally lunch time :'3

She took her scrunchie out her hair and re-tied it back up, to make herself look busy whilst she watched him. She thought he saw him reach into his jacket pocket, which was draped over the back of his chair when… a flood of people came into the café, asking for several types of coffee and demanding all kinds of cake.

The lunchtime rush.

"ZEVRAN HELP ME PLEASE OH MAKER!", she squeaked, being swarmed by customers. She saw Feynriel enter through the door, and he came to the counter next to her.

"Where have you been? Your lunch break finished ages ago?!", Kimi demanded, hiding her phone under the counter and finishing her lunch.

"I'm sorry… I went to the library close by to bring back a book, but got caught up with chatting to the librarian", he said apologetically, whilst handing people food they observed and taking the money they owed.

"Ah, it's fine…", she trailed off, she was watching the Fenris look-alike leave through the doors to the shop, but before he stepped out he turned to her and mouthed a 'thank you', gave her a half-smile and left.

* * *

It was around half past two when the lunch rush finished. Kimi sat at one of the tables, repeatedly hitting her forehead off of it in defeat.

"I missed him, and only Aveline and Isabella replied to my message… the plan failed.", she said to Zevran in a depressed tone.

"Ah, but you will surely have more opportunities, no?" he said reassuringly. "You said you conference called with him earlier, so why don't you just call him?"

"I… can't… that's too awkward, I'd need a reason to anyways", she replied. 'You can't just call a guy, can you?'

"I think that's a good enough reason…" Zevran pointed to the seat the guy was sat at, and Kimi followed where he was pointing when her eyes rested on a grey hoodie that was draped over the chair. 'He forgot his coat… so he's attractive and forgetful!'

She walked over to his seat and picked up the hoodie, it weighed lighter than she expected it to be. ' _This is toooooo good to be true_ ' she thought. She now had a reason to talk to Fenris. ' _But how am I supposed to bring up the topic, "oh hey this guy that looked like your character came to the shop, is it you?" that would just be weird._ ' She sighed again. As if reading her mind, Zevran strolled over to her and spoke.

"You video call the guild whilst playing, am I correct? Wear the jacket, and get someone to comment on it-"

"How would that work…", she butted in, slumping into the seat that guy had sat in, "he wouldn't comment on it, if anything it would just look like any other hoodie", she sighed, and smelled the said jacket. It smelled like mint, with a hint of BO, and jam from the cake he just ate. She had so little hope it would work, her life had been so full of disappointment that she wasn't fazed by life's poor outcomes anymore. 'But it couldn't hurt to have a little hope, could it?' a small beacon of hope spoke to the darkness inside her. It was true, the worst that could happen was everything would go back to normal, and it wasn't like she was in love with him. Her inhibition and anxiety were completely unnecessary.

"I'll give it a try, I mean there is two stripes on both the arms, it should be distinct enough for him to at least acknowledge it looks like his," she tried to smile in her sudden wave of hopefulness, "but he doesn't have a webcam or headset, how can he see it…"

"You can Skype on mobile, you silly girl," Zevran mused, he sat down on the chair facing hers, "tell him to download it and prop his phone up on something whilst he plays", he deadpanned.

Kimi's eyes widened at the realisation. ' _I've been waiting six fucking months to see him and… ughh!_ '

"Zevran you're a genius! I'll message the chat when my shift is over!" she swung her arms around him. Any ordinary person would have assumed they were in a relationship, or were at least flirting, but Zevran was very clear he wasn't attracted to anyone at the moment. Kimi would hear him talk about his visits to clubs to pick up guys guys and girls, with his best friends Cousland and Alistair, but he never spoke about bringing people home. The thought crossed her mind that he was in fact asexual, but upon asking him he insisted he wasn't. That was mainly the reason she could talk to him about guys, he wasn't biased like other people. He wouldn't just side with her or the other party, he would tell her how it was from his perspective.

"You are welcome, my Hawke", he replied, hugging her back.

The rest of the day went by quickly, she glanced at the large, metal clock that hung on the wall, and noticed her shift had finished. Kimi picked up her phone that was still hidden underneath the counter, went to the staff room, took off her apron, grabbed her bag and left, saying goodbye to her co-workers. Kimi finished earlier than the rest of her co-workers due to her arguing to Meredith about needing to leave early to babysit her sister at home, in case her mother wasn't there. Meredith didn't know that Bethany was fourteen years old, and could easily look after herself; Kimi just wanted more time to play her MMORPG. She looked at her phone to see multiple new messages from the chat, but seeing that Fenris hadn't said anything she only looked at the most recent message.

 **Varric [bianca's_man], 14:56PM**

\- Who's playing tonight then?

\- I found a tonne of new quests from the Red Iron

\- That quest line is dragging on imo …

 **Aveline [vallen], 14:58PM**

\- I should be free later, I might have to cover for someone at the station though.

\- I'll let you know.

 **Isabella [xbella_69x], 14:59PM**

\- U know im always free varric x ;)

\- Tell me when ur online xx

\- Aveline 4get about work for once have some fuuun!

 **Aveline [vallen], 14:59PM**

\- Isabella I need to work to afford the money to have electricity to play the game.

\- So I will prioritize my work at the station over DA Online, so that I can play DA Online.

 **Isabella [xbella_69x], 15:00PM**

\- Noo Aveline went bad cop :'(

\- Kimi do something !

 **Kimi [kimi_chan] 15:00PM**

\- Aveline I've only just left work and you've already made Izzy upset :'(

\- I'm disappointed in u -_-

Kimi had walked outside and temporarily put her phone down on the table outside the café, the outdoor seating was hardly used in Autumn. She regretted only wearing a t-shirt, and eyed Fenris' doppelganger's hoodie she was holding. 'If he didn't come back for it all day then he obviously didn't find it important', she put on the jacket and instantly felt warmer, whether it was the fact she put on another layer of clothing or the possibility that she could potentially be wearing Fenris' jacket, she didn't know. She began walking to the train station when her phone pinged again.

 **Aveline [vallen], 15:01PM**

\- Whatever, I finished my bathroom break, I'll talk later.

\- :-)

 **Fenris [broody_elf], 15:05PM**

\- I'm playing right now with Merrill.

\- I mean not with Merrill, but she's online and I'm playing with her.

\- I should be able to play later as well, the library closes at 9PM on Saturdays.

' _Play it cool Kimi, casually bring up the topic_ ' she thought.

 **Kimi [kimi_chan], 15:06PM**

\- Aww, you're getting along :'3

\- I bet one day you'll be able to fight alongside an army of mages ;)

 **Fenris [broody_elf], 15:06PM**

\- I will much sooner find out my character is a blood mage, summon an army of demons, then slaughter all mages.

\- And after that delete my character from the game as a form of suicide.

\- :-)

' _He put a fucking happy face oh my gosh oh my gosh!_ ', she fangirled as she approached the train station.

 **Kimi [kimi_chan], 15:07PM**

\- Ouch… :(

\- What's with all the normally serious people putting happy emojis today :/

\- Did something happen?

 **Isabella [xbella_69x], 15:08PM**

\- No, I think your phone call brightened his day ;-)

\- What did you talk about anyways… dirty broody things?

 **Fenris [broody_elf], 15:08PM**

\- No, I was perfectly content before, and no, not until the mage brought up getting a room.

\- Which, might I add, was not needed.

 **Kimi [kimi_chan], 15:09PM**

\- How did you know Izzy?

\- And Fenris you did… kinda… ask if …

\- Nvm it wasn't that dirty

 **Isabella [xbella_69x], 15:09PM**

\- Kimi I'm jealouuuuuss

\- U and Anders are the only ppl that have heard Fenris talk :(

\- I wanna hear... D'X

\- What does it sound like?

Her train pulled into the station, and she was about to board it when she saw a familiar figure. 'Gamlen… shit, fuck, he's been at the Blooming Rose all day?' she thought anxiously. It was the only logical reason why someone like Gamlen was in Hightown, and why he was struggling to walk on a straight line. She looked around for anywhere to hide, and noticed he was boarding the train too. She backed away from the train and pulled the hood of the jacket over her head to hide her face, and turned away from him. The hoodie was a men's size large, she figured, as it was long enough to cover her backside, and the hood was so big it rested on her nose. She let the smell of the man's hoodie calm her nerves as she sat on a bench, hiding her face from the window of Gamlen's train as it pulled away. It was twenty minutes until the next one.

 **Kimi [kimi_chan], 15:12PM**

\- Isabella I saw Gamlen holy crap

 **Isabella [xbella_69x], 15:12PM**

\- Fuck Hawkey… did he see you? Xx

\- I was wondering why you didn't reply :'/

\- Are you okay? Where are you?

 **Kimi [kimi_chan], 15:13PM**

\- I don't know, someone left a jacket at the café and they didn't come back for it so I wore it

\- It's big enough on me that when I pull the hood up you can't see my face so I don't think he saw me

\- I'm okay now, I'm at Hightown Station :')

She didn't realise that she was still using the group chat, and forgot that Fenris wasn't AFK. She had just told both of her secrets, and now he knew that she could be wearing his clothing. It also registered that only Isabella knew about Gamlen, and now she was going to have to tell Fenris if he asked. Her hands began to shake again at the thought of him freaking out if she told him, but the ping from her phone broke her thoughts.

 **Fenris [broody_elf], 15:15PM**

\- Can you send a picture?

\- I went to a café today after going to gym, I left my jacket there accidentally.

\- I'll need to see it to know that it belongs to me.

Her heart sank in her chest and she felt when more nauseous than when she saw Gamlen minutes before. ' _He wants to see me! I don't look attractive though... my makeup is blotchy and the lighting here isn't good and-_ '

 **Isabella [xbella_69x], 15:16PM**

\- Aww the elf wants to see your pretty face :')

\- Well Kimi send a pic, I haven't seen you for ages since my webcam broke xx

\- Well... send it then !

She opened her camera app and took a selfie, the hood was still covering half her face so she held it up, she smiled genuinely and took the picture and sent it. She kept wondering what he would say, it felt like forever had passed when she got a notification.

 **Isabella [xbella_69x], 15:18PM**

\- AWW MY BABY UR SO ADORABLE xxxxxxxx

\- I just want to cuddle you ur like a little kitten

\- Ur literally the :'3 emoji personified ughhh

 **Fenris [broody_elf], 15:18PM**

\- It seems I did leave my jacket at your café.

\- I don't know when I will be going there next, you you can keep it for the moment.

Her face flushed red and time felt like it had stopped, she had seen him, and she was the only one in the guild who had. Her heart was beating way too fast for it to be healthy and she tried to calm herself down. ' _Why am I reacting like this, I don't have a childish crush or anything, do I? Oh Maker I think I do! Okay, Kimi just breathe slowly, breathe, it isn't helping-_ '

Her train approached and she walked towards the platform edge, when her phone pinged again. She ignored it, fearing what she might type in the state she was in, and hopped on the train. She managed to find a seat, she sat down and plugged in her earphones, selected a random song and opened the chat.

 **Fenris [broody_elf], 15:19PM**

\- And I agree, it does look… cute on you.

\- Keep it, I have others.

' _Zevran... what am I supposed to do now_ '

* * *

Kimi got home at around 4PM, and was welcomed by her mother telling her that she shouldn't be working all day just so they could earn enough money to move out of Gamlen's house. She replied, as always, by telling her that they don't receive enough income from her mother's dressmaking business - they might have done in Ferelden, but Kirkwall's culture was much different. After the discussion had finished, she kicked off her shoes and was about to run upstairs when her mother noticed her new zip up hoodie.

"Where did you get that? In Hightown?", she enquired. She walked over and touched the soft fabric. Kimi flinched, saying "Ah, no, it's not mine… it got chilly when I left the café so I asked if I could borrow one of… Feynriel's! - he's an apprentice.", she made up on the spot.

"Well tell him I said he has good taste," her mother smiled, "and good perfume! Is that mint?", she asked.

"Ah, yes, I will… anyways gotta go bye!" she said quickly, and hurried up the stairs, into her bedroom and slammed the door shut. She didn't know why she was lying to her mother, she knew she would disapprove of her meeting people from an online game, so it wasn't as if she had anything to lose.

"Why hello there sister!" Bethany said from her bed. "Why did you close the door so quickly? You made me jump".

"It's a long story Beth!", she grinned. Bethany was four years younger than herself, but was much more attractive than she was at her age. She wore her hair in pigtails all the time, and had a more petite face than Kimi's. Bethany would watch her play DA Online occasionally, confused by the people talking over the in-game music, so Kimi had introduced her to the guild; Isabella was the most excited to see her, they would all play together in Ferelden after school in the surrounding fields. She was brought out of reminiscing on old memories by Bethany's hand waving in her face.

"Sister! Can you help me with my homework? It's math, you know I'm terrible…" she whined.

Kimi took of her bag and placed it on the floor, "Yes, but let me get changed first, I smell of petrol fumes and alcohol just from walking down the street." She grimaced, stripping off her clothes and throwing them under her bed, and putting on a white tank top and pastel pink running shorts that she dug out from her now broken wardrobe. She also put on Fenris' hoodie again, ' _He did say I could keep it_ ', she reasoned.

She helped Bethany with her homework until around half past five, when their mother called them downstairs for dinner. It was spaghetti bolognese, with crusty bread. Her family all sat round the dinner table, that had numerous stains and burns in from Gamlen's cigarettes. The dinner conversation was varied, Bethany spoke of her day at school, apparently an altercation occurred with her friends, and Leandra was advising her how to sort out the conflict. It was interrupted, however, when Gamlen asked their mother when they were going to start contributing to paying the rent. Leandra was speechless to say the least, and Kimi flashed him a look which she knew he would understand, ' _you know about our deal_ ', she wordlessly expressed. However, he gave her a look in return, ' _piss off, you aren't worth it_ '. Leandra begged him to forget about the rent, arguing that she paid for his food and that was enough, but he wouldn't let it go, until Kimi spoke up.

"If you no longer want us here, then we'll be on our way - and you can get back to buying your own food and alcohol, on top of paying your other bills." she argued.

Gamlen turned to her mother "Leandra, tell your girl to keep her mouth shut in front of her elders…" he then turned his soulless eyes back to Kimi, "and you, girl, I know a bluffing man when I see one, you don't have a sovereign to your name and you know it", he slurred, still drunk from his visit to the Blooming Rose.

"If I had money don't you think I would have hidden it from you, of all people? I was working at the café part time before my gap year, and on top of earning 4 sovereigns an hour, that means in total I have approximately nine thousand sovereigns, which put with mother's savings is more than enough for a mortgage on a house near Hightown. So, still think I'm bluffing?". She shouted across the table, breathing heavily after exhausting every breath in her lungs trying to prove her point. She bore into Gamlen's eyes, waiting for a reply.

"If you're so rich, why are you still here?", he accused, his face bright red from anger.

"Ask mother, because I would have left as soon as I had the money", she sat back down in her seat, realising she had rose from her seat in her rage, and finished off her spaghetti. Her hands were shaking from nervousness, she didn't really have the money, about 2 thousand gold pieces to her name - and if Gamlen was to demand to see the large amount she insisted she had, she would probably die from embarrassment..

Kimi left the table, picking up her plate and placing it in the kitchen sink before running upstairs and switching on her PC. She opened up Skype and noticed no one was online, 'meaning that Fenris is online in-game', she didn't know whether to be happy or apprehensive. It was 6PM, so Fenris could only play for another three hours before the library he played at closed. Kimi double-clicked the game icon and waited for it to load, selected her character and hit play. She sat in her chair and sunk into it, wrapping herself in the blanked that was draped on the back of the seat. Her character finished loading and she looked at her surroundings. She was at the doors of the Deep Roads, where she had finished playing last. Kimi looked at the in-game chat; Varric, Isabella, Merrill and Fenris were online, and the two girls were trying to persuade Varric to tell them who Bianca was.

 **[kimi_chan]** (G) hey guys :') he isn't gonna tell u, i tried before :'(

 **[xbella_69x]** (G) oh he will Hawkey, it's a matter of time :'3

She laughed at the screen, she always wondered who Bianca was, and why it was Varric's username.

 **[bianca's_man]** (G) hey Hawke, you up for the Red Iron quest?

 **[bianca's_man]** (G) we started already but I can warp you here

 **[kimi_chan]** (G) yh okay :)

She waited to get warped to Varric's location, and whispered to Isabella.

 **[kimi_chan]** (W) guess what happened

 **[xbella_69x]** (W) what? you actually got laid? ;) x

 **[kimi_chan]** (W) no… you know i dont have anyone!

 **[kimi_chan]** (W) long story short Gamlen asked mother about rent, mum said she paid for our family by buying and cooking him food, i told him to fuck off - may have told him i had enough money to move our family out, and he said fuck off back :/

 **[xbella_69x]** (W) Hawkey… xx

 **[xbella_69x]** (W) just film him doing… what he does… and get him locked up :-* x

 **[kimi_chan]** (W) i wish it was that easy, he'd come after us no doubt, and mother would disown me if she found out i let Gamlen do… things

Varric had warped her to a building in the docks at night. Apparently they had to dispose of a rival mercenary group, which mean killing all the members. Varric had said completing it granted 20,000XP per guild member.

 **[bianca's_man]** (G) okay, broody and Izzy charge in, Daisy you go in after but hang back we don't want you to die

 **[jollydaisies]** (G) okay :'D

Merrill was so eager to do everything, her sweetness obscured the fact she chose the blood mage specialisation - one of the hardest in the online game. It meant the user has a random chance of spawning demons onto the battlefield, meaning more enemies to kill for the guild. Blood mages also drained health from surrounding players if low on mana, hence Varric telling her to hang back. Despite the consequences of such a specialization, Merrill was an adept player.

 **[bianca's_man]** (G) me and Hawke will then enter, keeping to the shadows and backing up the elf and Izzy, everyone understand?

 **[broody_elf]** (G) I understand.

 **[jollydaisies]** (G) Yep!

 **[kimi_chan]** (G) sure…

 **[xbella_69x]** (G) whatever you say Varric xx

Fenris and Isabella charged in, the elf activating his lyrium markings and cleaving through the mercenaries - whilst the rogue kicked up and smashed a smoke bomb and became invisible, assassinating the foes. Merrill shortly entered, shooting several large boulders she spawned at clusters of enemies, and engulfed the battlefield in a firestorm. Kimi and Varric entered last, Varric fired several arrows coated in poison at the foes attacking Fenris, making it easier for him to plough through them, whilst Kimi did the same for Isabella, but found it much, much, harder to keep up. Isabella kept coming into her sight, then disappearing, and before she knew it the rogue was running out of health potions to use.

 **[xbella_69x]** (G) kimi fkn back me up!

 **[kimi_chan]** (G) im trying ur too fast

 **[xbella_69x]** (G) kimi n varric switch places then

 **[bianca's_man]** (G) sure

Varric and Kimi switched places, activating an invisibility potion so they couldn't be seen. Fenris was much easier to follow, mainly because he attracted attention to himself on purpose. He would coax the main enemies to attack him, taking the most damage, whilst the rest of the guild either charged with him or backed him up.

She realised she was distracted by the elf's movements, his character's dexterity level was high to say the least, and turned her attention back to fighting- when she saw the battle had finished, with Fenris lying on the floor, dead. Everyone else received the XP automatically, but Fenris was deceased at the time of completing the battle, so he earned none.

 **[broody_elf]** (G) What happened, Hawke?

 **[broody_elf]** (G) You were meant to back me up, but you let yourself get distracted!

 **[broody_elf]** (G) You know what? You need training, Hawke.

 **[bianca's_man]** (G) calm down broody, she must have something on her mind

Kimi was halfway through typing an apology when a notification saying Fenris had left the area popped up, and her screen went black, and a line of text flashed at the corner of her screen.

[Warping **[kimi_chan]** to **[broody_elf]** 's map location.]

' _Did he just anger warp me? Oh no, he warped me somewhere secret so he can lecture me in private…_ ' Her screen came back on and she looked at her surroundings, rotating her mouse to do so. She concluded that she was somewhere on the Wounded Coast, infamous for the odd bandit camp and Tal-Vashoth gang that players had to fight their way through. She turned back around to look at Fenris' character, facing her.

 **[broody_elf]** (W) Has anyone ever told you that you are a terrible archer?

The words cut through her like one of Isabella's blades. No, no one had ever said that to her, they would joke about it but no one had ever thought to say it. She stared at her screen, not knowing what to reply. She knew she was bad with tactics with the archer specialty, but she was so good with the bow and arrow in other games.

 **[kimi_chan]** (W) I…

 **[kimi_chan]** (W) I guess people think it but don't have the heart to tell me :/

 **[broody_elf]** (W) Good. That means I shall be the first to tell you more than once. You are a horrible archer. You can't back up people when there are more than a couple enemies to kill. You used rain of arrows on the background mercenaries just now!

Tears were forming in her eyes, it was like Meredith was scolding her all over again, but she actually liked Fenris, and now he was scolding her for not being able to play properly.

 **[kimi_chan]** (W) Fenris I'm sorry I just … I like being an archer.

 **[broody_elf]** (W) Yes well liking the look of them doesn't make you good.

 **[kimi_chan]** (W)... I know :/ I'm a lvl 50 though, shouldn't that make me good?

She truly didn't know why she was so bad, all the time spent in the Deep Roads with Varric and Aveline was for nothing if she couldn't put the perk she earned to good use.

 **[broody_elf]** (W) I am aware, and no, not if you don't know the combat tactics of your class.

 **[broody_elf]** (W) Look, I have played as almost every class in the game, have a total hours of gameplay of over 400, and have more lore knowledge than even you, I am betting.

 **[kimi_chan]** (W) woah… you spend a lot of time at that library :'D

She was doubtful at first that he could have more lore knowledge than her, but he was a level 90. And him playing nearly every class available? How was he not a moderator or beta tester?

 **[broody_elf]** (W) Hawke just… listen, please.

 **[broody_elf]** (W) I want to train you, Hawke. I feel this is the best way to put my knowledge to use, I have trained others before so I know what I'm doing. Most of it will compose of 1 on 1 combat, and I will try and integrate other guild members into this as well, once I figure out the best class for you.

She breathed in sharply, ' _best class for you_ '?

 **[kimi_chan]** (W) you want me to drop the archer class?

 **[broody_elf]** (W) Yes. I'm not certain it is the class that fits your personality. In fact, I'm certain it doesn't. You must trust me Hawke, if I am to be your... mentor… I must have your complete trust.

 **[kimi_chan]** (W) I… umm… I don't know…

Did she really want to change classes? She stared long and hard at the chat-box, her heart was beating too fast. She trusted Fenris, after all, the only time she saw him fall on the battlefield was when she wasn't there to defend him. ' _It could also mean you get closer to the man you lust after_ ', she heard an imaginary Zevran say in her mind. She didn't have anything to lose either, she had heard about an NCP that could change your class, as well as appearance - it wasn't like she would have to start over again from level one. She would just need to choose fifty new perks in whatever class she wanted. Kimi made her choice, and started typing on her keyboard.

 **[kimi_chan]** (W) I want you to teach me Fenris :')

 **[kimi_chan]** (W) Fenris? :L

Five minutes had passed before he replied again, she kept an eye on her clock, thinking that he might have been kicked out of the library he was at, but it wasn't even half past seven. She picked up her phone and looked at the group chat, to see a very eager Isabella messaging.

 **Isabella [xbella_69x], 7:02PM**

\- Hawkey!

\- What happened? Xx

\- U and Fenris just warped somewhere lol

\- r u havin angry player sex cuz u got him killed lol? ;) if u are I'll leave u too it aha xx

 **Kimi [kimi_chan], 7:25PM**

\- eww! No Izzy were aren't *pukes*

\- He literally just told me im rubbish at being an archer and that he'd help me get better if I change classes :3

\- but now he's AFK ahaha :/

\- oh wait he's back byyyyeeee

She recieved a whisper notification and looked up at the monitor.

 **[broody_elf]** (W) I apologise, I thought I saw somebody I knew… and am trying to avoid.

' _Trying to avoid? Like a stalker?_ ' she thought, she tensed up as she typed a reply.

 **[kimi_chan]** (W) it's okay :') who are you hiding from?

' _Shit, too far Kimi! He barely knows you!_ ' she swore inwardly,face-palming herself.

 **[broody_elf]** (W) I do not know if I can trust anyone with that information yet. It is a long and… emotional story.

 **[kimi_chan]** (W) no no it's okay if you don't wanna tell anyone :)

 **[broody_elf]** (W) No, I need to get this off my chest, I have never told anyone - apart from the librarian, she keeps the library open late just for me, and lets me use a study room so I am not interrupted.

 **[broody_elf]** (W) It will take me a while to type, so bear with me.

' _Now is your chance, Kimi!_ ', her mind went back to her conversation with Zevran about video calling.

 **[kimi_chan]** (W) wait! you know you can _Skype_ call from your phone, right? Download it and you can tell me on there :D

 **[broody_elf]** (W) I was not aware, thank you Hawke :-)

 **[broody_elf]** (W) I will do that now.

"Fucking yes!", she screamed out loud, hardly able to contain her excitement.

"What are you fucking, sister?", she heard Bethany say from the door frame.

"Ohh, I just levelled up!", she reasoned.

"Oh, okay! Mum said tomorrow you have to wash the dishes, it was your day today... but you ran away…", Bethany trailed off.

"It's fine, I'll do tomorrow don't worry", Kimi smiled genuinely, pushing the memories of that evening's dinner aside. A notification came from her PC and she turned around to look at it.

 **[broody_elf]** (W) It has finished downloading, what do I do now? How do I call you?

Her heart skipped a beat, she was about to become the first person to video call Fenris. Her hands started to shake with nervousness, and she told Bethany to 'have a shower or something' for her to be alone in their room.

 **[kimi_chan]** (W) what is your username?

 **[broody_elf]** (W) Fenris, it isn't a common name, when I saw it was available I had to have it. :-)

' _He's so cute_ ', she thought. Kimi quickly checked herself over, got her comb and brushed her full fringe into place. She then opened Skype, logged in and found his profile. ' _This is it_ ', she pressed video call.

 **[kimi_chan]** im calling now :') prop your phone against something so you won't have to hold it for ages xd

She got no reply from the guild chat, instead, a terribly good looking man appeared in the corner of her screen, moss green eyes looking into her pale blue ones. The lighting of the room he was in only emphasised his tanned skin, his shabby white hair was nearly blinding. He was wearing the same clothes he wore that day she assumed, as he was still wearing the black crew neck top.

"It… it's you, it was you!", she stammered.

"I… yes. Hello, Hawke".


	3. Chapter 3 I

**WOO CHAPTER THREE! Yes I know the word count of each chapter is growing with each one, but they're gonna float around 7000 words from now on I promise :'( In this chapter a lot about the setting and character backgrounds are revealed so it is quite dialogue heavy, just saying. Anywayyys as usual if there's any mistakes let me know somehow... thanks for reading :'3**

* * *

"I… assume this is when I state the person who is looking for me…", said Fenris uncomfortably, he fidgeted in his seat waiting for a reply.

"I mean you don't have to if you aren't ready... -", replied Kimi, but got cut off by Fenris.

"No! I already stated I need to tell others, this… anger, anxiety, has been building up within me ever since I left him, and I am beginning to lose control of it. I have to tell you Hawke, I fear I'll lose my mind if I don't.", Fenris' hands were visibly shaking, and to disguise it he ran one through his hair.

Kimi didn't know what to expect, she had no experience in consoling friends - she never lost them after she moved to Kirkwall. It had taken six months to become his friend, and all of it could be wasted if she didn't say the right words.

"I'm listening, it's okay Fenris... take your time.", she advised, giving him a small smile, whilst nervously messing with the cuffs of Fenris' hoodie she was wearing. She heard him let out a long breath before he spoke again.

"Thank you, Hawke. I am unsure of where to start" he let out a small chuckle, "I guess I should begin by saying my name wasn't originally Fenris, but Leto… I haven't got the money to change it back legally, although it would slow down Danarius' efforts to find me. About six years ago, my mother became very ill very quickly, one day she stopped breathing entirely. I called an ambulance and the paramedics came eventually and took us all to the hospital, the doctor said that she wasn't to last much longer, he said it was time for me to 'become a man' and look after my sister, Varania. We sat beside my mother on her hospital bed and we all said our goodbyes. I watched my mother's soul leave her body, my sister couldn't bear to watch, she ran into toilets, slamming the door behind her." He let out a shaky breath before he continued. Kimi was already tearing up, and he had said this was only the beginning. She wanted to say she was sorry, and she knew what it was like to lose a parent - but she didn't want to interrupt.

"A man and a woman came by our house a week later, after mother had been buried. They said they were going to take us to an orphanage, and to pack only the important things before we made our way there…", he stopped talking and reached beneath his t-shirt, pulling out a locket. He opened it and looked at it, smiling, before turning it around and showing the picture inside to his phone, to Kimi. His phone must have been expensive, because the front camera's quality was surprisingly good.

"This is my mother," he pointed at a middle aged looking woman with ginger hair, "...this is Varania," gesturing to the small girl who looked no older than seven, she was also a redhead, "...and this is me, I was ten years old when this photo was taken. It's the only thing I took with me and is probably the most valuable thing in my life." He finished, pointing to the dark haired boy, in the picture he was grinning, giving his sister a piggyback, his mother appeared to be laughing, clapping her hands. He put the locket back under his shirt, and carried on telling his story - he looked a tiny bit calmer now.

"Who took the picture?", she enquired, Kimi figured she had to at least show she was listening to the story, so she chose to ask questions. She didn't know why, but she wanted to know everything she could about Fenris.

He chuckled shortly, ducking his head with his hand covering his mouth.

"Our neighbour, he said that he was watching us play from his window, but was so nervous that I was going to drop Varania that he left his house to make sure I didn't, he refused to leave until my mother came outside!" He laughed again, this time louder. Kimi couldn't help but chuckle along with him. He stopped after a couple of seconds and carried on talking.

"My sister was young so she unsurprisingly grabbed the first teddy bear she could find. We arrived at the orphanage and were greeted by the other children, and were shown our room. Life there was okay, not as enjoyable as when my mother was alive, but it wasn't the worst I've lived through." He stopped talking, and his face lost the smile it once wore not two minutes ago.

"About three months later, the woman in charge of taking care of us told me to come into her office. She said that there was a man looking to adopt me… I told her I only was interested in adoption if my sister could come with me, but she dismissed my pleas arguing that he was 'coming today, offering a lot of money if I ' _put up a fuss_ ', in her words." Kimi noticed his fists clench at recalling the memory, and she wished she could cover his hands with her own.

"I soon realised I was powerless, I ran and stormed up to our bedroom. I told my sister to pack what she can, that we were running away and no one would stop us. We ran, but couldn't make it past the electronic gates at the end of the driveway. I tried to coax my sister into climbing over, but she wasn't strong enough to pull her own weight. I threw her bag over to the other side along with mine and lifted her up onto my back, climbing over the gate. I made it over the top, but she slipped and fell off whilst I was climbing down." His voice was quivering, not from sadness - but anger.

"Luckily," he spat, forcing out the word, "she fell into the arms of Danarius - the man who wanted to adopt me. He brought us back inside the orphanage, and our carer handed over the adoption papers quicker than I could object to the situation once more. Danarius signed them, handed her the money, and didn't hesitate to grab hold of my hand and take me to his car." Fenris wasn't looking at his phone camera anymore, he was somewhere else - physically there, but mentally he was lost in his memories.

"Varania sprinted down the driveway after me, screaming to get out of the car, our _ex_ -carer was trying to restrain her. I rolled down the window before Danarius could drive off, and shouted to her to keep her name no matter what they did, and that I would find her one day if she kept her name."

"Have you found her yet?", Kimi asked, wanting him to say yes. Fenris came out of his trance-like state and looked up towards the ceiling, it occurred to her that he did so to will away his tears.

"No.", he replied flatly. "And even if I did Danarius would somehow make her disappear again, he is a very wealthy man, Hawke. I realised that when I arrived at his main mansion in Tevinter. It is to this day the biggest house I have seen in person. He had servants complete every action he could do himself." he said with disgust.

"Wouldn't that mean as his adopted son you shared his servants? I can't imagine having someone do whatever I told them to… I mean it's fair if he pays-"

"It _wasn't_ like that!" Fenris blurted, hitting his fists off of the desk he was sat at, the sudden surge of anger making Kimi flinch, "He would make them do horrific things! To put on sensual shows for him, hold wrestling matches for him, cook his every meal no matter the time of day or night, wipe his own fucking _arse_ for him! You could never imagine what it was like for them!" The tears she had witness him try to hide were now flowing freely down his cheeks.

"Nor for me!", he choked, Kimi was crying now as well, her hand covering her mouth holding back a sob. "At first he was kind and loving as a father should be… then he changed. I thought it was normal for a father to touch his child like he did with me… treating me the way he did, sleeping in the same bed like we did... I was more of a lover to him than his child! But it wasn't like I knew any different, he was the only father figure I had … and I let him do those things for years! To have his seed in me for years! I… I can't…", he ceased talking, his head hung low. He eventually looked back to his phone, to Kimi, his eyes meeting hers once again. Her hands were covering her face, shoulders shaking from the sobs she tried to suppress.

"I apologise Hawke, I shouldn't have lost my-"

"Don't!", Kimi demanded, she could see her reflection in her computer screen, her eyes were bloodshot and her cheeks were flushed and wet from tears. "Don't apologise for th-things that are o-out of your control…", she hiccuped. Kimi empathised with him, thoughts of all the times that Gamlen orally raped her flooded her mind, feeling powerless as his liquid filled her mouth, disgusted as he suckled her breasts like a child. She wanted to tell Fenris as he had told her, but the present moment was about him - him confiding in _her_ of all people. She reached to the monitor and touched the screen where his right cheek was.

"In this mo-moment you are fr-ee Fenris, whether he i-is chasing you or not - don't lose sight of tha-at.", she said softly, trying to control the hiccups. Fenris wiped his cheeks and eyes as he took in a large breath, and breathed out through his nose.

"I… thank you, you should not waste your tears on me, Hawke. It is my burden to bare." Fenris half-smiled, his head resting on his hand, propped up by his elbow on his desk.

' _How can he still look so attractive after bawling his eyes out… he hasn't even finished the story_ ', she shook the ill placed thought from her mind, Kimi didn't want him to suffer from this alone, but she didn't know how to communicate that to him.

"It doesn't have to be, you have friends now - friends that will… assist you whenever you need them to, me included." She was going to say 'help you', but she knew he had a stubborn personality.

Fenris chuckled lightly, he had now opened up to her, the realisation of that dawned on her and it was… difficult to contain the happiness, to say the least.

"I should also apologise for saying what I said before, about you being a terrible archer. It is true I won't take that back, but you are headstrong, dedicated when you have your mind set upon something. I have seen you in battle, your courage… I admire that about you.", if Kimi was anyone else she would have missed the blush that spread across the handsome face of his, as quickly as it came it went. But that wasn't the case with Kimi, she was in full blush-mode and she make any effort to hide it.

"Fl-Flatterer-"

" _Hazel_ you've been a naughty giiiirl", her heart sank as she heard Gamlen's blood-curdling voice.

'N _ot now, anytime but now_ '.

"I'm sorry, I have to go Fenris… thank you for telling me everything I-", she saw the confusion on Fenris' face, but she couldn't talk for any longer. Her bedroom door burst open, and a heavily tipsy Gamlen clambered through the room.

"I… erm… take care, Hawke". Kimi leapt from her seat and pressed the off switch on the wall socket. She turned round to face Gamlen and braced herself for what was to happen, though nothing truly could.

* * *

Kimi was spread across her bed, naked. Streaks of tears lined her cheeks; bruises were randomly placed across her neck and torso, where semen pooled between her breasts.

"Suck it up, bitch, you agreed to this.", slurred a half naked Gamlen towering over her, who pulled up his trousers and left shortly after. He had tit-wanked her for the longest five minutes she had ever experienced, the only thing keeping her sane was imagining it was a certain tan-skinned man.

Kimi pulled up her underwear that was tangled around her feet and wiped away the semen with her t-shirt that was thrown onto the floor; she grabbed Fenris' hoodie and flung it on quickly, then ran to the bathroom and stumbled down to the toilet where she vomited until there was nothing left in her stomach. Kimi sat up and flushed it away, then walked to the sink where she washed her face and cleaned out her mouth with mouthwash before brushing her teeth. She stood in place, contemplating to put a razor, that was placed at the edge of the bath opposite the sink, to her wrist - but thought of her friends and her family aside from Gamlen who would surely somehow resurrect her just to kill her again out of anger.

Kimi walked lifelessly to her bedroom and clambered into bed, before noticing a figure sleeping in the bed across from her's. Bethany was deep in sleep, and must have waited downstairs until she heard Kimi leave to go to her room. She rose from her bed and grabbed her phone from her desk, then climbed into Bethany's bed, next to her sister's sleeping form, she brushed her hair from the younger sister's face and kissed her cheek before turning over and checking the group chat.

It was filled with messages from the others, they were discussing the mission from the Red Iron that Kimi left, apparently they found a glitch and completed the quest again earning themselves 40,000 XP in total. It then went on to Isabella flirting with Merrill, then gossiping about what Kimi and Fenris were doing - Isabella had noticed from their character logs that they both were AFK. Anders said something about " _keeping her nose out from where it doesn't belong_ ", and Isabella replied saying " _boohoo I'm only looking out for their welfare, they could have been attacked by assassins_ ". Kimi laughed at her message, then remembering her to tell her whenever Gamlen made a move. Kimi private messaged her.

 **Kimi [kimi_chan], 20:58PM**

\- Izzy he did it again

\- I feel disgusting

\- I want to hurt myself again and

She began to cry after sending the last message, but remembered who she was laying text to. She silently wept, but slowed down when she realised there was a private message she received earlier.

 **Fenris [broody_elf], 20:30PM**

\- I wanted to thank you for hearing me out in more detail, but you were… prioritised.

\- I don't know what your relationship is with that man but I will not dwell upon the subject. I wish to know but I will wait until you are ready, as you did for me, or will push the topic aside if you would rather not talk about it.

\- I am back online if you would like to play more, I have devised a rough plan to figure out what class suits you best, but if you are busy I can leave your training until another time. :-)

\- I am in your debt, Hawke. You have done me a favour that I will not forget. Thank you. I also saw you were wearing my jacket… I am glad you like it, it really does look… cute on you.

\- Alas I am rambling, we shall talk soon I hope.

Kimi tried to write a reply multiple times, but couldn't. 'He called me cute twice… I can't believe a guy is actually complimenting me, I should do the same in return..'

 **Kimi [kimi_chan], 21:00PM**

-Thank you :') It was nice to finally put a face to the voice aha x

\- I'm sorry I'm too tired to play, I'll play tomorrow though, it's too late for you to play now anyway

\- I'll tell you about him soon, he isn't anyone I would class as close tho

She thought she might be going too far by putting an 'x' at the end of her message, but everything flirty she had thought to write would be too cheesy, too... _Isabella_. Speaking of the flirt…

 **Isabella [xbella_69x], 21:02PM**

\- Hush baby its gonna be ok xx

\- don't hurt urself over someone like him he ain't worth the pain

\- I keep telling you I won't but one day i'm gonna have to tell someone, heck Aveline is a police officer

\- this isn't normal or legal it's rape :/

 **Kimi [kimi_chan], 21:05PM**

\- I know but I can't report him until I move us out of his house

\- or else he'd just come back when he gets out of prison and would start it all over

\- and I dont have the money yet

\- i'm going to sleep this off ok? I'll talk tomorrow I'll come online around ten

The café Kimi worked at was closed every Sunday, so she always did her levelling up then. Tomorrow would be the first day of her training with Fenris, and she couldn't wait. She liked the thought of having him all to herself. Kimi was reminded of Zevran's words of lust, and on Monday she would have to admit that to him. Her phone made a loud ping, and she swore to herself. realising her phone wasn't set to silent mode.

 **Fenris [broody_elf], 21:07PM**

\- I will wait for you then.

\- I mean I will wait for you to tell me, I apologise for the innuendo.

\- Yes, the librarian kicked me out, I wasn't doing anything of importance, just farming. The library opens at eleven, so I will be online then. :-)

She smiled to herself again, she truly couldn't wait for tomorrow to arrive.

\- And is that so? I imagine it must be quite the surprise. My appearance is astonishing to some.

Kimi giggled. _Giggled_ like a schoolgirl, he responded positively to her poor attempt at flirting.

 **Kimi [kimi_chan], 21:09PM**

\- My my, who would have thought that the brooding master Fenris would have a mind as dirty as Isabella...

\- And it was a pleasant surprise I assure you :') Much like when I first heard your voice

\- I wasn't prepared that time, your voice is very deep :L but it wasn't scary so :'D

 **Fenris [broody_elf], 21:10PM**

\- I guess so, Isabella has called my voice husky in nature.

\- I fail to see where she is coming from, but whatever makes her happy.

\- I have arrived at my house now, so I will bid you Goodnight.

She wanted to keep talking to him, to learn more things about him, but it was getting late. Kimi kept thinking of excuses to keep their conversation going.

 **Kimi [kimi_chan], 21:12PM**

\- So you like making Isabella happy? XD

\- Also can I ask you a question?

 **Fenris [broody_elf], 21:13PM**

\- I believe you have asked me two. :-)

\- In reference to the first, yes, but it isn't like what you are insinuating. She has a flirtatious personality, I cannot stop her, so I just go with it. Denying her advances would be useless, but if she ever asked to… engage in a certain activity with her I would say no. I don't know where she lives after all, it wouldn't be worth the travel.

\- Yes, you may ask me another question.

' _So he isn't that interested in Isabella… but only because of the distance… so if he had to choose it could be Aveline, Merrill, the librarian or me… assuming he's straight… he doesn't know where any of us live though, so would he say no to everyone else?_ ', she thought.

 **Kimi [kimi_chan], 21:14PM**

\- Ohhhhhhhhh

\- In the picture that you showed me your hair is black

\- Why did you bleach it? :-)

 **Fenris [broody_elf], 21:15PM**

\- What a peculiar question…

\- It was one of the first things I did when I ran away from Danarius, it was a way of me expressing my freedom, somewhere along the way I decided I liked it, so I kept bleaching it ever since. Happy? :-)

\- Now, go to sleep Hawke, I want you fully rested for tomorrow.

 **Kimi [kimi_chan], 21:18PM**

\- Okay okay… you sound like Aveline

\- I like it white :') It suits you

\- Goodnight Fenris x

She settled into Bethany's bed, being careful not to wake her up, she was about to put her phone to the side when she got another message.

 **Fenris [broody_elf], 21:18PM**

\- Have you been flirting with me Hawke?

She was certain her heart skipped a beat. What was she to say to that?

 **Kimi [kimi_chan], 21:20PM**

\- No

\- Maybe

\- I don't know

\- Have you been flirting with me?

' _Nice going Kimi, counter attack the question with the same question_ '.

 **Fenris [broody_elf], 21:21PM**

\- I am unsure…

\- I don't know what came over me. I will cease if it makes you uncomfortable, but you responded in a similar manner, I assumed you liked it.

\- It is harmless after all.

' _"Harmless" flirting, I can live with that… does this mean he likes me? He doesn't do this with anyone else though right?_ '

 **Kimi [kimi_chan], 21:21PM**

\- I don't mind

\- I mean, I do like it

\- I mean… ughh!

 **Fenris [broody_elf], 21:21PM**

\- I understand. :-)

\- Goodnight Hawke

\- Eleven O'clock, remember?

She typed that she would remember and told him Goodnight, putting the phone aside she snuggled up to Bethany, falling asleep along with her.

* * *

Kimi awoke to the sound of birds singing softly from outside of her window, and the smell of freshly cooked breakfast. Leandra had always insisted on carrying on the tradition of the Fereldan Sunday meal in Kirkwall, toasted bread with eggs, beans in tomato sauce, and chicken ham - there wasn't enough space in Kirkwall to raise pigs, after all.

Remembering that she had worn the same pants for twenty four hours, she rose from her bed and walked sleepily over to her wardrobe. Kimi wasn't to be doing much during the day, so she pulled out a white t-shirt bra, a black and white baseball top and black running shorts. She put her clothes on, combed her hair and full bangs and darted downstairs to see if there was breakfast left for her.

"My my, you look like you slept well dear, it's nearly midday!", exclaimed Leandra jokingly. She was sat at the dining table with Bethany, who didn't comment on Kimi's presence due to her shovelling food down her throat.

"I did, that's why I went to sleep early, my friend told me to be well rested and-", she was cut off by her excited mother.

"Friend? Like boyfriend? Oh say hello to me will you?" Kimi knew that Leandra was aware of the lack of physical friends in her life, so she had settled with the online ones her daughter had. Deep down Leandra was proud that Kimi had finally made friends after _Lothering_ , but she predominantly wished she could see them in person.

"Yes, he said he would train me to be a better fighter! Everyone else was contempt with me being terrible-"

"Oh Honey…"

"But Fenris was like ' _I want to train you, Hawke_ ', and now he's going to make me better! Oh you should have seen him mother… he's _so_ attractive and his voice…", she stopped gushing about her crush too late. Her mother looked at her with a certain look, but it was replaced with a large smile.

"I am glad you like this man dear," she started, "he is a man isn't he? You have seen this supposed man haven't you? I saw something on the news not long ago about… what was it… cat-fishing?"

"Yes, yes, I video called him not long ago. You shouldn't be watching the television for too long mother, it rots your brain they say." Kimi teased, her mother wasn't as witty as her, but every so often she would spit back a good remark. Leandra laughed sarcastically, before speaking again.

"Yes, said you who sits in front of that blasted computer screen until unholy hours of the morning." Leandra retorted, it sent Kimi into a fit of laughter.

"Okay, okay, that was a good one Mother - but Dragon Age Online is educational, did you know it's based on _our_ Thedas hundreds of years ago? The developers spent forever doing research into the history of Thedas to make it as historically accurate as possible! How cool is that? And I'm in Kirkwall now, I bet I could find where our house would have been! ... I mean Gamlen's house…" she corrected herself. She thought maybe she could get everyone in her guild to show where they lived too, but it would be too depressing finally knowing how far away they were.

"I'm sure it is educational sweetie, now eat up! I don't want to hear of this _Fenris_ telling you that you are 'gaming' on an empty stomach."

Kimi finished her breakfast and hurried up the stairs and into her bedroom. She picked up her phone to check for messages, and saw that she had multiple private messages from a certain elf.

 **Fenris [broody_elf], 10:32AM**

\- I am leaving my house now. If you are not awake by eleven I will not be impressed.

 **Fenris [broody_elf], 10:41AM**

\- I am approaching the library now, Kawke.

 **Fenris [broody_elf], 10:55AM**

\- I went online a little early to get things ready, you still haven't replied so I assume you are still sleeping.

She couldn't help but smile at how he had messaged her three times, and she could visualise how he looked annoyed now, after finally seeing him through the video call. She replied to his message and plugged her phone into a charger underneath her desk, realising she hadn't done so the night before. Kimi then switched on her computer and sat in the desk chair.

 **Kimi [kimi_chan], 10:58AM**

\- I just switched on my PC

\- Don't get too fired up, but I forgot to set an alarm last night :L

\- How does it feel knowing I could have slept until 1PM? X'D

Kimi was much more confident talking to him from behind her phone screen. He couldn't see her stammer or blush when he would say something to provoke that reaction, but she still liked hearing his voice. The previous night was the first time she had heard him laugh wholeheartedly and it made her belly feel funny, in a good way.

' _Maker, what is that man doing to me_ ', she placed her hand over her abdomen where she could feel the strange sensation again.

 **Fenris [broody_elf], 11:00AM**

\- If I were in your presence I would throttle you, how you manage to wake up at the correct time for work astonishes me.

\- I am sorry, intended that to be a joke, but it might have appeared as me sounding angry.

 **Kimi [kimi_chan], 11:01AM**

\- I'm glad you corrected that xD

\- I was about to reach for a box of tissues bc you hurt my feelings :'(

Kimi logged into her user and opened up the game. She wondered how her first training session would go, how he would be able to tell what class she truly was. Her game eventually loaded and she warped to Fenris' map location.

 **Fenris [broody_elf], 11:03AM**

\- If I knew your feelings were so fragile, I would have advised on you not completing the level 60 main quest ;)

\- Are you able to video call? This would work for me better than typing.

Kimi's heart started to flutter, if they were going to do this more often she would need to get a hold of her feelings. Getting shy like a schoolgirl with a crush would eventually become tiring, and with Fenris already admitting that any flirting he did say was harmless. Nevertheless, containing how hard she had fallen for the elf was going to be difficult.

 **Kimi [kimi_chan], 11:04AM**

\- Why? What happens at level 60?!

\- And okay sure :)

She opened up _Skype_ and sent him a video request, he answered within milliseconds.

"Well... an archdemon appears and threatens to destroy Thedas… so the usual, also broodmothers, _lots_ of broodmothers…", Fenris said smoothly, he gave her a half-smile and greeted her. He was wearing an open red plaid shirt with a dark grey crew neck t-shirt underneath, she couldn't see what else he was wearing - but despite only seeing his top half she concluded he was effortlessly attractive.

"Ahh, gotta hate broodmothers", Kimi laughed nervously whilst playing with a lock of her hair. It was one of her nervous habits, along with messing with the cuff of whatever long sleeve clothing she wore, and chewing her lip.

"Yes, but they give a high amount of XP, so it's worth the trouble. But on the topic of broodmothers, follow me when I warp.", said Fenris, whilst clicking the mouse a couple times, and then he transported to another location.

"Huh? Ohh!", a notification popped up in the corner of her screen.

 **[broody_elf]** _wishes to join your party. Accept party request?_

Kimi hit accept and his character's icon appeared on the left of her screen, she clicked it and warped to his location.

"I wish to begin our training in the Deep Roads, I will send you several pieces of weaponry and I want you to experiment with all of them. Tell me which feels best to use," he said, sounding just like a teacher. "I will then take you to the character creator NCP later."

"Okay! But what if you don't know what's best for me?", she was excited, but apprehensive.

"I thought I told you to trust me, _Hawke_ ," Fenris mocked, crossing his arms and smiling slyly.

' _How can one person be so damn attractive?!_ ' she internally screamed.

"I… I do trust you! It was just a question… what if I suit two classes?", she mimicked him and crossed her arms and turned to the side, pouting like a child.

"Then I'll let you choose for yourself. Come, I wish to begin now, start slaying Darkspawn and I'll back you up. I'll send the weapons now.", Fenris instructed. She wasn't a mage class so it was impossible for her to use a staff at the moment. She received a sword and shield first, it felt much slower than a bow and arrow, and much more difficult. The Hurlocks and Genlocks were surrounding her, and she didn't like being an upfront target. Nevertheless, Fenris saw that she was struggling and aided her, he swung his sword and cleaved through the enemies - it was like an incredibly dangerous dance, with the sword and all.

"I don't think I like this one… it's too slow. And I don't like the whole shield business…", Kimi leaned back in her seat after killing the last Hurlock.

"Don't catch Aveline hearing you say that," Fenris chuckles softly, "and I am aware, I just wanted to confirm it, we now have a platform to start on." A notification saying she was sent another item popped up, she opened her inventory and saw a greatsword.

"This is another test, this will determine if you are better up front or in the shadows. With a greatsword or other two-handed weapon you can deal what an archer may call 'splash damage', but the HP that you deplete would be greater with one on one combat." The words flowed out of Fenris' mouth so smoothly, he no doubt had confidence in himself as a teacher - maybe because he was talking about his own class which he was most experienced with, but it was as if they were actually there in the Deep Roads, and he was actually teaching her. They came across another horde of Darkspawn and they engaged in combat, she kept right-clicking as she couldn't copy his class exclusive actions - or the glowing. Once again, they finished attacking the last enemy, using a greatsword was much easier than a sword and shield, but it was still difficult having to face the enemy up front.

"How did you get those… markings?", she asked, prompted to do so by her earlier thought. Much to her surprise Fenris went silent, thinking deeply on how to reply.

"It… It was a contest held not too long ago, the winner would be granted with these powers, needless to say I won, that's all really."

"Ohh…", she was expecting more considering he had already told her about his step-father.

"I am guessing I have not sated your curiosity?", he smirked. That smirk, he knew he was teasing her and he wanted her to know too. He made no effort to hide it, after all.

"I… just… no, I was expecting more fighting, or something."

"Tell me something first then, I get to ask you something and in return you shall get your answer, _if_ I am satisfied." he said, and she laughed in return, covering her mouth with her hand.

"What could you possibly want to know about me? My life is far less interesting than most people… but a deal it is." Kimi smiled.

"Oh, but I wish to know many things, Hawke, you have… _piqued_ my interest, and besides what kind of teacher would I be if I knew nothing about my own student?"

' _He's flirting. Right now. With me. And it seems more than harmless flirting…_ ', did he really wish to know more about her?

"Okay, okay, I already said we have a deal!", Kimi blushed.

"Alright," he pressed the spacebar, judging from the noise, meaning he had paused the game. "I will not ask about the elephant in the room, I want you to tell me when you are ready, so…", he tapped his finger on his chin, clearly thinking considerably hard. She mentally thanked the Maker that he didn't ask about Gamlen.

"Is Bethany your only sibling? Isabella said something about a brother once."

Kimi had come to accept that Carver was gone a while ago, but it still hurt talking about him.

"Ahaha… at this moment in time yes, it wasn't always like this, though. I used to have a younger brother, his name was Carver.", she said woefully.

"Care to talk about him some more? I sense the subject is close to you…"

"He was brave, he wanted to get a career in something that involved saving others. But he was ignorant of common sense, he would do things not thinking of the consequences. I always hated that," she spat, memories of what happened in Lothering flooding her mind. But she carried on. "It was what got him killed, he wanted to stay behind, to help those infected. We were on the way to the docks in our Jeep to flee Ferelden, he kept saying he wanted to help and that it wasn't right to leave everyone behind, but both my parents told him no. We were nearly to Gwaren and Carver just said goodbye and jumped out. It was too risky to slow down, and he had jumped in another car before we even could bring him back." Kimi couldn't hold back her tears, she was frantically wiping them away so Fenris couldn't see them.

"You said so yourself that there was nothing you could do, what was it you said… don't blame yourself for things that are out of your control," he smiled comfortingly at her, and she smiled back to him. He was successful in lifting her crestfallen face and bringing a smile to it, which was hard for him _not_ to do.

"We came to Gamlen's house because we had no where to stay, about a month later we got a letter saying they found his remains, I didn't know how though, all the bodies that we drove past were unidentifiable." she finished, and sighed afterwards.

"I am sorry for your loss, Hawke. From what you told me his decision wasn't one of ignorance, but selflessness, you should be proud of him.", Fenris said calmly.

"I am, he is a hero."

"My turn it is. it was a competition, but I did not join alone. I was part of a clan called the Fog Warriors, I joined them shortly after fleeing _Danarius_ \- which before you ask is another story I shall tell later. They were the first friends I had after running away. We slaughtered through the competition, it was a fight to the death style method to win, and pretty soon we were the only ones left. The announcer said, however, that there could only be one winner, and we instantly turned on each other, slaughtering each other for our own personal gain. I faded into the background, waiting for there to only be a couple people left, but someone found me and stabbed me in the back… literally-"

"They weren't really a guild then, just people wanting to win high level bosses without dying." Kimi interrupted.

"No, they were my first friends, I saw the way they would communicate with each other, they were all close companions. But anyway, one of them had stabbed me, but before he could finish me off the leader of the guild took him out, and it was then a one on one fight between me and him. Put quickly I won, and I got given the markings, I could even choose the colour.", Fenris smiled.

"It must have been intense, but I'm not surprised you won. You're like, the best player I've seen!", Kimi exclaimed, and Fenris chuckled again. "So what is the specialisation called?", she asked.

"It's called Lyrium Warrior, it allows my avatar to phase through walls, objects… other characters." He replied.

"It looks amazing… I can't believe I hadn't heard of it, and I know a _lot_ of lore."

The conversation carried on, and Fenris decided told her about the first boss he killed to test the markings out, how he got kicked out of the Fog Warriors for 'treason', everything up until he joined Hard in Hightown.

"Your online life is almost more interesting than your actual one." Kimi joked. They had been talking for two hours, both had been logged out of the server for inactivity.

"I have forgotten about our training, I apologise." Fenris said, and logged back in along with Kimi.

"It's fine, I want to try something, though… do you have any daggers?" Kimi asked, during their time conversing, she realised she liked keeping to the shadows, both in the game and in real life, she was introverted with people she didn't know, she just wasn't outgoing.

"Yes, I was going to save them for last, I had a feeling that dual wielding was going to fit you best, Hawke." Kimi laughed loudly in response, her right hand covering her mouth.

"So why did you make me do all of that if you knew from the start?" She received the daggers from Fenris and headed for the closest cluster of Darkspawn. Kimi already had the perks of a rogue, but most of her moves were for archery, not dual wielding.

"Because I wanted to see how you would adapt to being thrown into the unknown." He said flatly.

"Well, _Fenris_ , did I satisfy you?", she dragged his name out slowly, he had been teasing her this whole time, it was his turn, she reasoned.

"Yes. You did. Those Darkspawn are all yours, since you are so confident." Fenris retorted to her flirting. ' _He's punishing me for teasing him… does that mean he's a sadist?_ ' she thought, but put the idea away.

She activated stealth and ran up to the group, she threw a poison bomb at them and backstabbed the most powerful of the cluster. As soon as the poison wore off she lept back behind a large boulder. Kimi glanced at Fenris, and seeing he was deep in thought, she turned her attention back to the game. She activated stealth again and charged, leaping from enemy to enemy. The group was at first nine, but now only three remained. She threw another miasmic flask and attacked the strongest again, when he fell she gestured at the camera for Fenris to have a turn, leaving the last two for him, but he lifted his hand gesturing that they were her's. She swiftly killed the rest, and Fenris' character approached her's.

"I think we have found your class… how did you do that?" Fenris enquired, on the camera he looked astonished.

"I just kept thinking what would Isabella do, and I've dual wielded in other games. I just wanted to be an archer in this one 'cuz they looked cool." she explained, stroking a lock of her hair.

"Well then… never change who you are, Hazel, especially if you're good at what you do." Fenris said honestly. "Let us hurry to the NCP then, I want to start your dagger training as soon as possible."

She was completely taken back, ' _Fenris just called me Hazel!_ ' she internally screamed. Even though she hated her name, the sound of it coming from him made her love it.


	4. Chapter 3 II

CHAPTER 3 pt 2 YO. I'm so so so sorry this is a week late :( I can't believe it's actually been like 4 or so weeks since I uploaded this fic haha, thanks for the review/views/favs & follow :'3

I think I've finished introducing the main characters now, for those wondering why Sebastian isn't here it's because I never got the expansion that included him… I only was aware of his presence in the game through reading fanfic's (-_-') so I don't feel like I know his character well enough to put him in this one. If I make another fanfic later on I'll try to include him, don't worry Seb' fans :') Also, the DA Online game in this AU is a lot like other MMO's, there are players everywhere until they get into boss battles/key fights - then it's just whoever is playing and whoever is present in the party until they leave the area.

p.s. if you want an idea of what Kimi's in-game character looks like here's my tumblr, i've posted a pic on there :) .com

* * *

Chapter 4

Kimi and Fenris had teleported to the character changing NPC. Fenris had said that his name was Xenon, and that he could change the entire appearance and class of an avatar, for thirty sovereigns. Kimi only had twenty, so Fenris transferred her the remaining ten. She then took the opportunity to _completely_ redesign her :character: before changing her class, shamelessly spending around half an hour doing so. Kimi was (always) a perfectionist when it came to character customisation. She eventually chose the rogue dual wield option, and the assassin specialisation - with Fenris telling her the best build for that specialisation.

"Was it _really_ necessary to spend so long creating an avatar?" sighed Fenris. After the first ten minutes of her designing, he had disappeared from camera's sight to get a sandwich from a vending machine nearby; when he came back seeing her not even close to finishing yet, he checked the group chat. It was around half past one, so many members of the guild were awake - and playing the game too.

"Finished! Yes, _Fenris_. Unlike our guild, other players can't see my face. Your avatar is the first thing other players see, so you have to make the right impression if you wanna be friends... or enemies - it's also the thing you'll spend most of the time looking at, I see no problem in making mine aesthetically pleasing to do so." She heard Fenris laugh lightly at her logic.

"I suppose so, if you actually care about what people think of you."

"And you don't?" she asked. Kimi was a naturally self-conscious person both in real life and in the game, despite her semi-good looking figure and appearance. It wasn't to a mental illness degree, she simply liked to look somewhat attractive in other people's eyes.

"I see no reason to, I am what I am and what others think of my appearance is none of my concern. Of course I'll make an effort to make myself look presentable and healthy but I find no logic in going out of my way to look like eye candy."

 _'He's either lying or is in fact effortlessly attractive.'_ Kimi thought. He was no doubt the most visually appealing being to walk Thedas in her opinion, how he could not see that astonished her - or perhaps he was aware.

"And your avatar?"

"I merely wanted him to look like me... but more badass," he shrugged, "Besides, I'm not the most threatening looking man in the world." He stroked back his hair, which Kimi had come to notice he did when he felt uncomfortable.

"Hah! You may say that, but the first time I saw you do the glowy-thingy I think I shat myself, I'm _pretty_ sure Anders did too… you should have seen his face!" Kimi clutched her stomach as she laughed at the memory, so did Fenris.

"I am glad that I left that impression on him - come, the guild wishes to see your new character." He stated, and his avatar disappeared - she presumed to wherever the rest of the guild was. Her phone was still on charge all morning, but she could hear message alerts from the group chat. She warped to Fenris' location and picked up her phone, tapping on the chat. She scrolled down to the elf's first message of the day.

 **Fenris [broody_elf], 13:40PM**

\- Hawke has changed classes, I thought everyone would like to know.

 **Aveline [vallen], 13:40PM**

\- Oh really? I can understand why.

\- No offence Hawke if you're reading this.

 **Varric [bianca's man], 13:41PM**

\- What to? She better still be a rogue, it's bad enough I'm the only archer now broody

 **Fenris [broody_elf], 13:41PM**

\- Don't worry dwarf, she is still a rogue, but a dual wielding assassin.

\- I am sure Isabella will be pleased.

 **Aveline [vallen], 13:41PM**

\- I bet she will be, she isn't awake yet though.

\- I can imagine that class suiting Hawke better actually, well done Fenris.

Kimi laughed at that, Isabella would be jumping off of walls when she found out. She wondered why Fenris even told the group chat, they would have found out eventually anyway. Her screen loaded and she was somewhere on the Wounded Coast again, this time with Varric and Aveline, who Fenris both invited to the _Skype_ call.

"Well done to me too! I'm pretty sure I got an achievement for how many Darkspawn he made me kill!", she whined.

"There were no more than thirty, if I am not mistaken," retorted Fenris playfully. Kimi stuck out her tongue at him in a childish manner and _Maker be damned_ he did the same back to her.

 _'He needs to stop before I become the first person to die from infatuation'._

"Okay okay break up the fight children, we have to rescue a Viscount's son… so if we may proceed?" said Aveline, her voice was firm but her face said she was enjoying the bickering.

"Hey, nice character, Hawke! Much more attractive than your other one! If I was alone I'd -"

"And that's enough from you too, dwarf, I wasn't aware that you were interested in animated women." exclaimed Aveline. She could joke too, but her humour was much more dry than the others. Much more.

"Oh ho ho! My dear Aveline, haven't you heard of _hentai_?"

"VARRIC!" screamed both Kimi and Aveline, Fenris also reacted to the dwarf's words, his hands covering his face.

"I'll take that as a yes…"

They made their way up the beachy landscape, the conversation changing swiftly to something else, when they encountered a group of bandits. There weren't that many to be of any trouble , but they could be if the group charged through aimlessly.

"Hawke, think of this as your first training session. Do as you did in the Deep Roads and remember what I told you about your build." said Fenris.

"I know what I'm doing, which ever move sequence looks coolest is probably the best…"

"You're not in the background now Hawke, you have to defend me and Fenris up front, but without making yourself a target as well", stated Aveline. "But do have fun." she finished.

Fenris and Aveline charged at the group, and Kimi quickly activated and threw a Miasmic Flask at the cluster of enemies, she then activated stealth and backstabbed an enemy attacking Aveline with Explosive strike. She then used Evade and told Varric to use Triple Shot at the bandit she just attacked. She activated stealth again, coating her blades in a poison and repeated the sequence again on a bandit attacking Fenris, this time using assassinate - with the poison doing 10pts of damage per second, he eventually dropped dead along with the rest. The battle only lasted two minutes at most, they wanted to swiftly get to the quest location, after all. When it finished everyone congratulated Kimi, saying how she was much more useful and effective than before (Aveline), much more attractive in combat than before (Varric), and suited fighting up front despite her shy nature (Fenris).

"How did you know I'm shy? I could just be deep in thought… like you!" Kimi had enquired.

"I'm good at reading people, I have to be - considering the _circumstances_. You didn't strike me as the outgoing type. When I first saw you at the café you acted… bubbly, but that did nothing to mask you avoiding eye contact and your hands shaking."

"Oh… and I'm like that with all customers?!" her hands smacked her cheeks, she hid her face from the web camera.

"From what I observed, yes bu-"

"HOLD ON! Hold on! When did you two meet up?!" blurted Varric, the jealousy in his tone greatly apparent.

"We didn't!" Kimi shouted, with the elf speaking much calmer after her.

"We did nothing of the sort."

"Then how _did_ you meet? How long ago was it?" asked Aveline, who didn't believe either of them. All those present had forgotten that their avatars were stood still, open, and would make easy targets for unexpected PvP battles or computer controlled enemies.

"I had finished training at my gym, I had done a particularly vigorous work-out and wanted to reward myself. I went to the café, unknowing that Hawke worked at _that_ one in particular. Neither did I know that it was her who served me until I forgot my jacket there."

 _'And I agree, it does look… cute on you. Keep it, I have others.'_ his words crossed her mind from the day before, but it felt like a lifetime.

"Well that seems awfully convenient, but nevermind. We have a mission to do." stated Aveline, Kimi thanked the Maker that at least one of them had their head screwed on right.

The group came across two other clusters of bandits before reaching the Viscount's son. His name was Seamus, Kimi learned, and apparently he wasn't kidnapped, but was with his friend - a Qunari. Kimi already knew what was about to happen, she was somewhat familiar with a majority of the main quests in the game.

"Guys if any of us have suddenly realised they need to level up now would be a good time." she said cautiously.

"Why? Is this going to be a difficult fight?" enquired Aveline. It crossed Kimi's mind that it would have been a good idea to tell the group what they would be facing, but her timing was hardly ever right when a situation came around when she could actually _apply_ her lore knowledge.

"I have done this before on another account, it is somewhat difficult - but we will manage no doubt if we conserve our potions." Fenris replied.

"Why did nobody think to _say_ this? I could have looted a lot more bodies if I knew it was going to be bad..." sighed Aveline. Varric's character walked up to Seamus, who was bent over a dead Qunari, the boy said that 'they were still here' and 'to run away quickly', referring to the wave of mercenaries who jumped out from behind the large boulders that were dotted around them.

The fight lasted ten minutes, Kimi could sense everyone was on edge; trying to do their best not to die and skip out on earning the XP. Kimi said that there were going to be three waves, with the third being the most difficult. When they had gotten to the last wave, the group was low on health potions - namely due to the assassin that kept popping up, backstabbing, then moving to the next guild member. Kimi was very fed up, she activated stealth (which she had come to realise was her favourite move), and creeped behind the assassin. Aveline saw what she was attempting and acted as a decoy for her, drawing the assassins attention by using Shield Bash. Kimi took the opening and used Assassinate on him, taking his health down by at least forty percent. The two women then kept attacking him until he fell, and carried on with the fight. Aveline nodded to her on her camera, and Kimi winked back in thanks - but she was distracted by a blinding blue light that flooded her monitor.

 _'The Lyrium Ghost'_ Kimi thought, she couldn't move her hands to carry on fighting, she didn't want to. She had seen him fight for just over half a year now, but it was still beautiful to watch his character fight. Fenris' avatar sank his hand into Ginnis' chest (the leader of the mercenaries), ripping out her pixelated heart. The fight was over soon after.

"Now _that_ is probably the coolest thing I have seen in this game." exclaimed Varric. Kimi too was in awe, he had described his character's powers previously, but she hadn't seen him pull out someone's heart. She was so in awe she forgot the nagging sensation in her abdomen - not from finding him hot, but needing to use her bathroom _very_ badly. She silently wished her body would give her more warning.

"I am glad you see it so.", she heard Fenris say in her urine controlled frenzy. She scanned the room for Bethany, seeing that she was playing on her 2DS silently on her bed. She must have walked in without making a sound, Kimi reasoned.

"Is something wrong, Hawke? You look troubled." Aveline prompted.

"Yes! Everything is fine, BETHANY TAKE THE WHEEL I NEED TO PISS!" she screamed across the room to her sister, who shot up and squealed from the sudden outburst, clambering over to the desk chair where Kimi was no longer sat.

"Erm, hello again! My sister needs to pee so…" Bethany's voice trailed off as Kimi _sprinted_ towards her bathroom. She finished washing her hands with honey scented soap, after she emptied her bladder, and fixed her hair in the mirror. She took the opportunity to take a short break from the game. She went downstairs and made herself a drink along with a peanut butter sandwich, and ate it at the dining table. She looked over to her mother who was sifting through what looked like Gamlen's bills, with a grimace on her face.

"Is there something wrong mother?" she asked.

"Oh, no, don't worry child. Nothing I can't handle. We're just late on a few bills is all."

"I can help pay them, mother! I have about two thousand sovereigns saved u-"

"No! I will not allow you to pay for your uncle's shortcomings!" Her mother said sternly. Kimi snapped.

"Then _make_ him find a job! He can't keep holding us back like this! What if his house gets repossessed? Where will we go then?!" she had realised too late that she had lost her temper again, and instead of her taking it out on Gamlen, it was her own mother.

"I know!" Leandra took in a deep breath, "I know… we have already pawned off all of Gamlen's unnecessary furniture. I am not smart enough to take up stock trading, nor do I have the money to do so, or the time to get another job on top of my own." Her mother came to the dining table and took a seat next to Kimi. "My _dearest_ Hazel, what are we to do." It wasn't a question, but a plea.

"I - I heard father saying you used to have a house here, in Hightown somewhere."

"Yes, Amell Estate, I used to live there before I met your father."

"What happened to it? Can't we get it back if it is still in your name?" Kimi asked.

"No, I spoke to Gamlen about it when we arrived from Ferelden. He said he lost it in a gambling match, your father lost his temper and roughed him up a little," Leandra smiled at that, "apparently my parents, your grandparents, left it to me in their will. I would have to petition to get it back, or buy it off of the housing agency holding it."

Kimi leapt up from her seat. "So let's buy it back! How much is it?" she demanded. If they could just buy back the mansion they wouldn't have to live with Gamlen anymore, and Kimi would be indebted to him no longer.

"If it was that simple, don't you think we would have moved out of this hovel by now? It's two hundred thousand sovereigns, Hazel! The only way of obtaining that amount of money is to win the Maker _damned_ lottery!"

"But can't we appeal? Tell the company of our situation, they would understand! Surely they would!" pleaded Kimi, and Leandra sighed in response.

"It wouldn't be like a mortgage, we can't just negotiate with them. We would have to pay it upfront or else they would put it back on the market." she ushered Kimi to take her seat again who sighed, placing her head on the table, forgetting that her plate was still there.

"I do not wish to talk of this any longer. I have come to accept that this will be our new life, as did your father whilst he was alive. I ask that you do the same.", and with that Leandra walked back into the living room and went through Gamlen's bills again. Kimi wiped her hands over her face, both in frustration and as an attempt to get the peanut butter off. She placed the plate into the kitchen sink and walked up the stairs to her room.

* * *

Bethany sat down in the desk chair. She enjoyed playing her sister's game, mainly because of the friends she would play with. They were all friendly with her, especially Anders and Izzy - mainly because she knew Izzy from… before. She placed on the headset and spoke into the mic.

"Erm, hello again! My sister needs to pee so I'm gonna take her place for a bit!" she beamed at the web camera.

"Why hello there, _Lady_ Bethany, what a pleasant surprise!" greeted Varric. He would always treat her as a princess, she knew it was due to her age but she would still pretend she was clueless to it.

"Hello, _Sir_ Varric, the pleasure is all mine", she replied, nodding her head in acknowledgement and giggling. She returned to her normal dialect. "So what are we doin' now?"

"We are returning to the Viscount's office, we just killed a bunch of people and found his son who ran away." Aveline briefed Bethany.

"Okies', how much do we get for this?"

"Depending on our grade of combat, anywhere between five hundred and one thousand XP." stated Fenris.

"Hey! You're the guy my sister was _gush_ -I mean talking about earlier! She was right about the deep voice." exclaimed Bethany, nearly giving away her sister's secret. Bethany had only seen him every so often, and due to her sister using earphones, she had never actually heard him speak. He was just that guy with white hair, in her eyes.

"Err… she was, was she?"

"Yes! She was all, 'Fenris is gonna train me to be the best player ever yaaay!', she was pretty excited to say the least lol."

"I wouldn't be so sure about the 'best player ever', but I have placed her under my wing."

"Aww - so when are you gonna date?" Bethany heard Fenris choke on air, as well as Aveline. Varric just burst into laughter.

"I - we are not dating and we shall never do such a thing!" said an incredibly flustered Fenris, using an array of hand gestures to illustrate his point.

"Geeeezz, I was only kidding, don't need to put her in the friendzone and all…" she sighed.

"Oh... I see. May I suggest we make our way to Hightown now?", he was looking away from the camera, she noticed. _'I flustered a twenty year old man lol, I mean he could pass for eighteen, I can't even tell his real age'_ , Bethany thought.

They all warped to the Viscount's Keep, and made their way up the steps to the Viscount. The man had thanked them for returning his son, Bethany had no idea what was going on, so when the character's dialogue option came up, she clicked 'You are both fools', or something - she wasn't really paying attention.

"Woah! Seven hundred XP! Is that a lot?"

"It is a decent amount. Not enough to make up for what I lost out on in the previous mission, but I can drink to that." Bethany was stunned, _'He drinks and plays?! What a loser, what does Hazel see in him lol.'_ But she stood corrected when he reached for a can of _Rockstar_.

"What flavour?" she asked, pointing to the can as he drank from it.

"This? Blueberry." Fenris responded.

"Aww... Hazel says I can't have it 'cuz I go hyper…" she whined. The previous time she downed a whole can at her school, got too energetic, and punched the first school girl that looked at her funnily.

"I shall drink to you as well, then." he lifted the can, seemingly toasting to her, and drank some more.

"Thank you! - oh, hey sis. You got seven hundred XP from the last battle."

* * *

"Only? Damn." Kimi said. Her eyes were rested enough to play some more, but her mind wasn't. She kept thinking of strategies to make quick money, but it all came down to prostitution - not that she would actually try it, though she technically was one already.

"Well, bye guys, tell Izzy I said hi!", Bethany bid farewell to the group, then settled on her bed to play on her 2DS again.

"I take it she wasn't too much trouble considering everyone got to Hightown in one piece." she jested. She liked letting Bethany play every once in awhile, it was a hobby they both shared, even if Kimi took it much more seriously than her sister.

"Nah, she was fine, she might have gotten on the Viscount's bad side, though." said Varric in response.

"Oh really?" Kimi turned to face her sister, who said she 'only called him a fool'. They both laughed lightly, "Beth, you can't say that, his kid dies later on!"

"Hey! No spoilers!" shouted Aveline.

"Sorry…" she uttered, stroking a lock of her hair.

"So what's next? It's three o'clock now, me and Aveline haven't had lunch yet, so how about we all come back in an hour and figure out what to do next?" suggested Varric.

They all agreed, and went offline, both in-game and on the video call. Kimi reached for her phone and messaged Isabella, wondering why she hadn't come online. She knew Anders worked Sundays, only working half-days in the week and full-time on weekends. Merrill worked Sundays too, but doing school work - mostly marking student's work as she worked at an art's school. Merrill was an amazing artist, Kimi had always thought. She could see her paintings and drawings hanging on her wall in the background of the video call, and some of them were based on creatures and scenery in the game. On the other hand, Isabella had no reason to _not_ be playing. She worked at a bar in Lowtown most days, but never Sunday.

 **Kimi [kimi_chan], 15:02PM**

\- Hey! Are you awake yet?

\- I've literally been playing all day and you haven't come online or messaged the group :/

 **Isabella [xbella_69x], 15:05PM**

\- Sorry Hawkey xx

\- I have a really bad hangover

\- Me and my work friends went out last night at like 10 lol

\- It was last minute i know but YOLLLOO

 **Kimi [kimi_chan], 15:05PM**

\- Yh but you missed Beth

\- She came on for like 15 mins

 **Isabella [xbella_69x], 15:06PM**

\- OMG UR KIDDING

\- Nah :(

\- I'm sorry… I'm literally in my flat right now with all the curtains closed

\- Bc the sun is burning my eyes, I doubt I could even look at the PC screen :(

 **Kimi [kimi_chan], 15:06PM**

-I've heard alcohol does those things…

 **Isabella [xbella_69x], 15:07PM**

-haha Hawke

-Now leave me 2 sleep pls

 **Kimi [kimi_chan], 15:07PM**

-If you insist my pirate companion ;)

The time quickly flew by, it was now completely dark outside, and judging from the loud racket of drunken teenagers walking up and down her street, it was most likely past ten o'clock. Why and how people partied on a Sunday night she didn't know, Monday's were the worst even without a hangover, she thought.

The guild had been doing a number of small quests, clearing caves and other tasks; the four of them were the only people in the guild online so they couldn't exactly kill a High Dragon, even if Fenris could just shove his hand through it's chest.

Aveline had not long ago bid farewell and went offline, so Kimi did the same - she did have to wake up in eight hours or so,; she didn't want to keep Bethany awake due to the monitor's light, on a Sunday night. She got up after saying goodnight to Varric and Fenris and switched off her PC, then went to the bathroom to brush her teeth and wash her face before returning back to her bed. She wasn't even half way through the doorway before she saw Gamlen towering over her sleeping sister.

" _What_ do you want?" Kimi cautioned, her hands shaking.

"Nothing, just watching. I can see her growing into her body nicely."

 _'He wasn't drinking was he? I didn't see any bottles downstairs, he isn't slurring or wobbling at all so why is he behaving like this?!'_

"Riiight, well I'm going to sleep now, I suggest you do the same, Uncle."

"No need to be so defensive _Girl_ , I was just leaving." Gamlen retorted, brushing past her as he exited the room.

Kimi let out a sigh she didn't know she was holding, and walked over to Bethany. She brushed her cheek before whispering that she 'wouldn't let him hurt her', and went to her own bed. She was so tired, emotionally and physically, that she didn't even reach for her phone before she fell asleep.

* * *

Two weeks had passed, and Kimi's situation didn't change for the better, but not any worse either. The only positive things that happened were her and Morrigan finding a common ground - hating snobby people and generally people in general, her training sessions with Fenris as he would invite Isabella to help with the rogue side of things, and Kimi levelling up again. Oh, and Fenris had been slyly saving up money for a gaming laptop, the rest of the guild pooled together and transferred him the money online required to buy a headset and decent USB mouse. The thought had occurred to her how he could afford something so expensive considering his situation, but it soon disappeared.

It was a Friday, so everyone at work was generally in a better mood, including Meredith of all people. Kimi and Zevran manned the coffee machines, Morrigan and Feynriel were in charge of baking and selling cakes - not that the raven haired woman was any happier there.

"Morrigan, can I ask you something?", Kimi said to her from across the counter.

"If you must."

"Why do you work here? I mean don't take this in a bad way but you have significantly less enthusiasm than the rest of the crew, you haven't once worked overtime and you make no effort to socialise with the rest of us outside work. To the average person it would seem as if you don't even want to be here." she explained.

Morrigan breathed out heavily and scanned the café floor for customers before speaking. "I don't know why I'm telling you this but once I do you must swear that you won't tell another soul, that includes you two." Morrigan gestured to Zevran and Feynriel.

"Okay…" said Kimi, with the other two nodding in response.

"Right then, me and my mother are what you would call travellers. We don't have a permanent home apart from our caravan, we move locations every week or so. We don't have the money to buy a flat and my mother insists that we live this way until she passes. I, on the other hand, do _not_ want to live like this any longer. So, I applied for this job as it pays well and am saving up for alternate accommodation." Despite the depressing explanation, Morrigan didn't seem moved at all when talking.

"So how do you get paid if you don't have a permanent address?" asked Feynriel, who usually kept to himself. He had worked there for some time as an apprentice, but the crew hardly knew anything about him.

"Meredith pays in cash, she said as long as I look appropriate and am punctual she didn't care. She seemed rather impressed with my cooking talent, if I do say so myself." Morrigan stated. "I do not work here because I want to, but because I have to in order to be free of my _witch*_ of a Mother." she concluded.

"Ah, I see. I'm here to buy a house too!" exclaimed Kimi. Morrigan scoffed and returned to the oven under the counter where she was cooking muffins.

"I wonder why I expected more of a response from you… never the matter, we have similar goals - I propose that to make the time between now and achieving them more bearable, I shall be more 'approachable'..." Morrigan leaned in, almost whispering in Kimi's ear making sure no one else could hear, " _if..._ you get that blighted Zevran to cease flirting with me.", she proposed. It was no secret that the blonde flirted with _anyone_ , but most people liked it, the rest learning to accept it. Morrigan wasn't one of these people, however, she made it clear she despised him. He didn't listen to her pleas, evidently.

"Deal!" Kimi shouted, gaining even more attention from the two males standing opposite them, who were both shamelessly trying to hear what was just discussed. Morrigan slapped her hand to her forehead at Kimi's response, and carried on baking. It was a wonder how no customers came in during the whole scene. The rest of the day went by in a blur, Kimi had exchanged phone numbers with Morrigan, after spending the remaining hour begging her for it, and got Zevran's and Feynriel's too to minimise suspicion.

Kimi went to her locker after staring at the clock, waiting for the hands to hit three o'clock, and pulled out her rucksack - which was much heavier due to the added weight of her gym clothes. She worked out at Hightown's gym after work every Monday, Wednesday and Friday, in order to ' _keep off the added pounds - a consequence of the gaming lifestyle_ ' she reasoned. But deep down, it was just one of the few things she had control over in her life; she _needed_ control.

She took off her apron and went to the staff toilets to get changed into more sporty attire, a black tank top with an electric blue mesh shirt on top, and simple black leggings. She still wore her black monochrome _Converse_ to work out in, they were comfy after all. Kimi bid everyone farewell and plugged in her earphones, beginning the twenty minute jog to her gym. It was somewhat relaxing, in a way, despite the cold October-soon-to-be-November weather. The bitterness of her warm skin reacting to the cold climate felt good, as well as the burning sensation of her warm up exercise; she wouldn't let herself stop jogging, only to slow down to a speed walk before starting again until she reached her gym. She scanned her ID card at the gates and walked to the women's locker room, putting her bag inside before leaving to the women's side of the gym.

Kimi's schedule was very strict, she would use the rowing machine for twenty minutes, the cross trainer for ten. A five minute break, then yoga ball training for ten minutes, back to the cross trainer for another, then using an aerobic step she practiced a combination of inclined press ups, crunches, and squats, and another five minute break before repeating the same sequence again for another hour.

By the time she had finished her whole body ached, her stomach growled, but she felt _good_. She could feel the endorphins surging through her and that made her feel alive. Kimi returned to the locker room and grabbed a towel, shampoo and soap and quickly went to the shower room to cleanse herself. She got changed into her work clothes again before scanning herself out of the gym and beginning the hour and a half journey home. She wasn't ten minutes to the station when a familiar blonde haired man waved to her, from a black _Civic,_ he honked at her and pulled over.

"Hawke? It's me, Anders! Can I give you a lift?"

" _Anders_?" she said the name, trying to picture the man in front of her as the man she was familiar with during video calls. "Anders! Oh my gosh it's you!" she exclaimed, when she put one and the other together. She was itching to just jump into the car and squeeze him in a hug.

"I'm hurt, Hawke. I recognised your purple hair instantly, I had to do a double take because it's dark out, but the fact remains." He pouted as he turned his radio volume down.

"My apology's _your lordship_ , I'm not used to being called into sissy cars, you see." she mocked.

"It is _not_ a sissy car! It's small and cosy." He pouted, "So where are you headed? What are you doing out so late?"

Kimi opened the passenger door and got in, embracing the warmth of the car and sinking into the seat, letting her worn out muscles relax.

"I'm going home, I just came from the gym, and it's not late it's almost quarter past five!"

"It's nearly Winter, Hawke, it's dark out; the dark is dangerous for pretty young women such as yourself!"

Kimi blushed deeply at his words. He had complimented her as if it was a fact. She struggled to formulate a response, Anders was looking at her intently with a large smirk on his face. He had flabbergasted her and he knew it.

"As well as guys… I mean women aren't the only people targeted. Where do you live? I'll drop you off." Kimi snapped her head towards him, suddenly realising something.

" _Why_ are you in Hightown? _Why_ are you in the Free Marches?"

"I think I asked the first question, did I not? I told you before I work at the hospital-"

"Yes but you didn't state which hospital! It could have been Orlais Central for all I knew!" she cut him off. Kimi was suddenly angry, again. Anders, one of her many close friends, lived in Kirkwall… why wasn't she aware of this?

"Why is this a surprise to you?" he scoffed, "Everyone lives in Kirkwall, the guild _Hard in Hightown_ operates within the Kirkwall server." He said, almost laughing at her ignorance.

"You mean to say that Varric, Aveline, Merrill and Fenris _all_ live in Kirkwall?" Her eyes widened in disbelief, _'Why haven't we met up? How come no one said anything?!'_

"It would be impossible for them to access the Kirkwall server if they weren't in range, so yes, everyone in the guild uses a computer or laptop that is based in our _wonderful_ city." Anders deadpanned. Kimi closed her mouth, realising it was wide open, and cleared her throat. Meeting her friends, her first actual friends, was now somewhat achievable. "Why didn't you say Isabella before?" he enquired.

"Oh _pshh_ ," she waved her hand, "I already know Izzy lives in a flat in Lowtown near me." Anders put his seatbelt on and started the car again, pulling off the curb.

"At last we have a destination! I guess you're wondering why we haven't all met up yet." he stated, as if reading her mind. Kimi put her seatbelt on too and placed her rucksack, that was resting in her lap, underneath the glove box. She nodded in response.

"So have I, I guess we're all just really shy. That or we're all really lazy… apart from you and Fenris, you two actually work out." Kimi laughed softly and scanned Anders' face.

He had gone from being a pixelated image in her bedroom to here, in the flesh. His blonde hair was cut at shoulder length, half of it tied up with parts of his fringe loose. He had rich amber coloured eyes that anyone could get lost in if they starred in them for too long. He was wearing his blue doctor's uniform, with a long sleeve black shirt underneath, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows showing off his blonde arm hair. Anders was a physically attractive man, but not like Fenris was. Fenris was mysterious, with a dark aura about him; Anders' presence felt warm and inviting, he smelled like honey which matched his sweet personality.

The car conversation was varied, Kimi learned that he lived in Darktown to which she responded with 'So how many times have you been stabbed?', before he clarified that he lived in the better sides towards Hightown. She also learned he was a cat lover, he showed her pictures of his previous cat 'Ser Pounce A-lot', while they were at traffic lights, and she fell in love with it. Kimi revealed her address to him, and he grimaced at finding out how rough the area was, but as the topic darkened she went through her bag and pulled out the bluetooth speaker she had and switched it on, connecting her phone to it.

"I do have a radio." Anders scoffed.

"Radios suck balls, you can't choose what comes on and they're full of ads. Now, what are you into?" she asked, scrolling through her abundance of music.

"Hmm, surprise me, Hawke." he responded. She put on ' _Nightmare_ '** and they both head-banged their way to her house. She had learned his preference in music and created a playlist in his name. A couple minutes after, Anders had offered to pick her up from her gym until it was Spring and was brighter in the evenings, and she accepted; overwhelmed by his generosity she kissed him on his cheek, which had a hint of stubble. His face turned pink in response and she giggled at the flushed tint. The hour's drive went by quickly, and Kimi felt happy, happy that she had finally met her friend of six months. In truth she didn't want to leave his car, she wanted to stay and talk all evening and night, but they both had work, _'not that he would take up the offer anyway'_ she thought. Kimi offered him to come inside for a warm beverage but he kindly declined.

"So… I'll see you Monday after gym?"

"Definitely, I'll see you then!" grinned Anders, before pulling her into a loose hug. Kimi froze at the sudden contact, but melted into it after breathing in his sweet scent.

"Erm, Hawke, you can let go now…" Anders said awkwardly.

"Oh! Sorry, I just-"

"It's fine! See you soon, Maker willing." He waited until she went inside before driving off, Kimi noticed. He really did have a heart of gold.

When she entered her house, Leandra asked her a number of questions regarding the car she had appeared out of; Kimi, tired from overexerting herself, dismissed her saying it was a friend.

She went upstairs to her room and threw her bag at the foot of her bed, with herself falling into it. Her muscles still ached, but her heart felt warm after her encounter with the blonde. Kimi always thought that Anders would be the kind of man to preach about mages outside of the game as well as in, but he was surprisingly down to earth, as well as being chatty; she didn't need to force conversation like she did with others, namely Morrigan and Aveline.

Kimi reached for her phone which was placed in her bra, and sent a message to Anders - not that he would be able to text and drive at the same time anyhow.

 **Kimi [kimi_chan] 18:03PM**

-Thankies for the lift :'3

\- It was awesome to finally meet you lol

\- Get home safe :)

"Who are you texting, sis?" asked Bethany who was sat at the desk, completing what looked like math homework on the computer.

"Erm... just a friend. Need any help?" Kimi quickly tried to change the subject. Bethany already knew about Fenris; if she told her sister about Anders knowing the drama queen she was, she would accuse her of cheating - whether she felt anything for the mage or not.

"Thank the Maker! Yes, please, I'm dying!" Bethany said, obviously relieved. Kimi was naturally quite good at math, she believed that once a person can understand the principles of a calculation, it was easy. There was a time when she wanted to be an accountant, but two weeks into her accountancy apprenticeship she became bored of it.

It took an hour for Kimi to explain to her sister ratio, as well as having to complete all of the homework for her because Bethany had given up; Kimi was good at math, but not at teaching math to others. They submitted the online homework and Bethany happily went downstairs to help Leandra make dinner. It was then that she realised how tired she was, she could barely keep her eyes open - and early fell asleep until a notification came from her phone.

 **Fenris [broody_elf], 19:10PM**

\- Hey, Hawke.

\- Are you coming online tonight?

Kimi sighed after reading the message. Playing with Fenris had become one of her favourite past times, they would just train and talk without any pressure or awkwardness - and they could stay up later now that he had a laptop. But recently Kimi had become so _tired_ , both emotionally and physically that she would fall asleep after coming back from the café. She didn't know where the fatigue had come from.

 **Kimi [kimi_chan], 19:11PM**

\- Not today, sorry Fenris

\- I'm so exhausted after gym that I might even skip dinner :'(

 **Fenris [broody_elf], 19:11PM**

\- That is not advisable, you need energy after exercising. :-)

\- This is the third time you have declined, is there something wrong?

 _'Is there something wrong with me? I love going to work, I love playing Dragon Age, I love working out… so why do I feel like death?'_

Kimi felt her cheeks wetten, she touched them and realised she was crying. She sent a reply and rose from the desk chair, flopping onto her bed. She cuddled her pillow, burying her face in it to muffle the sound of her sniffling.

 **Kimi [kimi_chan], 19:13PM**

\- I'm fine, don't worry :-)

'I'm fine, I'm okay, just tired.'

"I love everything… how can I hate everything too?" she mumbled to herself, slowly falling into her dreams.

* * *

 *** THE IRONYYY... IM SORRY I HAD TO XD**

 **** nightmare by a7x, i dont own them or any brand, company, software ive mentioned in this fic etc...**


	5. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4 … so last chapter(s) were split into 2 parts, this was because I felt like the fic was dragging on, like I've done 3-4 chapters but they only realistically covered three days. So from now on if two chapters span over the same day I'll class it as 2 parts of one chapter… I dunno if that just makes everything confusing BUT IT MAKES SENSE IN MY HEAD AGGHH. Also hubby was reading the fic and he mentioned within the story I had more than five separate plot lines… I mean I had no idea I did that?**

 **Another point, last chapter kinda got a bit dark so I'll try and make the atmosphere lighter this time I promise :'3**

 **Fun fact: last chapter when I said I was gonna post my tumblr I actually forgot until about a hour later so I had to go back and update… and it still didn't work so I kinda gave up :(**

 ***REVIEWS WELCOME***

* * *

Saturday morning. The sisters' bedroom window was open a crack. The sounds of the early morning work rush woke Kimi up ten minutes before her alarm rung for her own job. Cars were honking honking loudly, drowning out the birds chirping. She got out of bed and looked out of her window, scoffing at the Lowtown-ers' impatience. She went back over to her bed and looked at the time on her phone, realising that she may (actually) have time to make herself breakfast. Kimi threw on her work clothes quickly at the thought of going to work well fed; a black t-shirt, skinny black jeans, her unmentionables and Malcolm Hawke's locket, before hurriedly going to the bathroom to quickly wash her face and body with a flannel, before putting on her make up. Her eyes felt dry and sore from the previous night, and she cringed at the memory. In truth, she she wasn't sure why she began crying, or why she felt so drained as of recent. Pushing the thoughts aside, she applied her make-up.

 _'I think I might go smokey eyed today'_ , she decided after applying foundation and concealer. When doing so she noticed her ash brown hair was noticeably growing, with about three inches of her natural coloured roots showing. _'How did I not notice this?!'_ she internally whined, _'Meh, oh well, time to go dye shopping!'_.

Kimi ran downstairs to the kitchen and opened the cupboards, spotting a box of _Golden Nuggets_ she grabbed the biggest cereal bowl she could find and poured it in, along with day old milk from the fridge, _'still smells fresh… no clumps at the bottom… so it should still be edible!'_.

She ate her cereal whilst going through her messages on her mobile.

 **Fenris [broody_elf], 19:20PM**

\- If you would like to talk about it privately, I wouldn't mind.

\- You are very easy to read, Hawke, even through messages.

"Fuck…", Kimi whispered, slapping her hand to her forehead. _'Damn him and his mind reading abilities!'_

She noticed another message, forgetting that she had texted Anders the night before as well. The app the group chat was on allowed the use of nicknames for contacts, so out of simplicity she used the usernames from the game.

 **Anders [ser_pounce_alot], 19:10PM**

\- Thanks, Hawke.

\- I did get home safely, which is surprising considering I had driven through your area

 **Anders [ser_pounce_alot], 21:24PM**

\- I noticed you didn't come online today, are you alright?

"Why does everybody suddenly care about me?!" she squealed, nearly choking on her breakfast. _'I don't come online for three days and everyone thinks something's up! But then again, second to Fenris I am the one who plays the most…'_

She finished her breakfast and put her plate in the sink, then ran upstairs remembering she forgot her bag. On the way out of her bedroom she heard the front door close, she jumped back behind the door and closed it almost all the way - enough so she could see who had come into the house. Gamlen was stumbling up the stairs, _'clearly drunk'_ she thought unsurprisingly, her eyes followed him until she noticed a bruise on the back of his neck and left arm.

"What the devil have you gotten yourself into now, old man." she whispered.

Kimi waited until he clambered into his bedroom before she walked hastily down the stairs - with her bag this time, put on her shoes and left the house, locking the door behind her. She messaged Anders a reply saying she was just tired recently, and was about to plug her earphones in when her phone started blasting _Unravel_. She answered the call angrily, she enjoyed listening to music, it distracted her from the world around her - now someone wanted to take that from her _too_.

"Hazel speaking, what's up?"

"Ohh… hello Hawke, I was just calling to see if you were alright. If you're busy I-"

"No Fenris it's fine! I was expecting someone else is all." She recognised the deep voice and instantly regretted acting moody - just from not being able to listen to music, her temper was wearing thin as of late.

"Ahaha… I feel sorry for that person, then. So how have you been? I haven't had the chance to speak with you for three days." She wondered why he was calling so early, not that she minded.

"Umm, I've been alright, I jus-"

"Don't lie to me _Hazel_ , you have been withdrawing yourself from the guild and the game, as well as your friends over the past fortnight. If something is wrong please, tell me what I can do." Fenris pleaded.

She couldn't tell him about Gamlen yet, she wasn't ready, and she had a feeling he wouldn't accept 'I'm tired' as an answer.

"Did you know the guild is all from Kirkwall?" she could hear that Fenris was taken back by the question.

"Erm, yes, we're all logged into the Kirkwall server. Were you not aware?" He asked the question like she was retarded; she could imagine him smirking at her.

"No. No I wasn't. Does that make me dumb?" Kimi pouted. She could see Lowtown Station appearing around the corner of the street and pulled her train pass out her pocket. Fenris was laughing through the phone.

"It does not, you're smart where it matters."

"And you were so nice to me before…" she sighed, "So how come the guild hasn't met up yet?" Fenris breathed heavily out his nose before answering.

"I imagine everyone is too busy to, I don't believe anyone has suggested it."

"If… I _suggested_ that we did, would you come?" Kimi asked.

She could hear him hum in thought before he spoke. "It would be my pleasure. I have been wanting to see if the _mage_ is just as passionate about his kind outside of the game." Fenris jested. _'He doesn't, he's really nice actually.'_ she thought.

"Great! Then I'll ask the guild today when they're all free! Oh I'm so excited…" Kimi exclaimed, she now only had five more people to ask.

"So that's what has been troubling you this whole time?"

"No, and I don't want to talk about depressing things, so I'm not gonna tell you. I'd rather you act as a distraction to what is troubling me." she deadpanned. _'If this is all he called for then he should hang up now… but do I want him to hang up though?'_

"Fine by me. I don't believe I told you how I ran away from Danarius… would you like to hear the tale?" Kimi had, desperately, wanted to know since the time he had talked about this before, and the idea of hearing him talk for minutes on end seemed appealing. She decided to play it cool.

"I wouldn't mind…"

"Oh? I shall save the story for another time, then, if you have some-"

"Please tell me!" she exclaimed, playing it cool didn't work, after all. Her train pulled into the station and she boarded it quickly, trying to _actually_ get a seat.

"That's the spirit, Hawke," he laughed wholeheartedly, and it was one of the nicest sounds she had ever heard. "I was turning sixteen, I could legally move out if I wished to, which I very much did. I conversed about the topic with Danarius many times and he opposed it, strongly. I didn't know why he wanted me so _badly_ , then I found out he was running for Mayor in Tevinter. I knew he worked in politics, but this came as a surprise to me. Having a child would have made him relatable to the public; having an adopted one would have gained him twice the amount of followers."

"So he was just using you for his own gain?! _Ugghh_ I hate him!" Kimi stomped her feet with anger. The more she knew about the man the more she despised him.

He breathed through his nose humorously at her outburst. "It was a tactful move nevertheless. He hired five martial arts tutors as well as mainstream education teachers for me to learn from, so that I wouldn't need to go to school. My ex-stepfather wanted me as close to him as possible. I would see their faces change whenever Danarius was with me, I asked my Tevene teacher why he would scowl whenever Danarius would kiss me, he whispered it wasn't normal, that if we were in another country in Thedas he would be locked up. I had no clue what he was talking about."

"So how did you find out he was abusing you?"

" _Patience_ , Hawke. Danarius would have meetings with other campaigners, and other people of high status; sometimes I would accompany him, other times I would not. On one occasion where I wasn't required I ran to the closest library to find information on a computer there. What I found… all the times he would punish me _weren't_ my fault. When he would sleep with me at night it _wasn't_ normal. When he would make love to me it _wasn't_ a reward for good behaviour - and it wasn't just him, he would have me pleasure other women whilst he watched, and I… liked it, to an extent. I ran out of the library and vomited until I had nothing in my stomach.

"Then… how did… erm…" struggling for words, she cleared her throat and carried on. "So when did you run away?"

"So many questions, are you like this with _everyone_?" He mused, he didn't sound troubled like he did when he last spoke of Danarius, she noticed.

"Pretty much!" she responded, _'Not really, I just like hearing you talk'_.

He hummed at her response. "I decided I needed to be rid of him a couple nights later, he was going on a business trip on the other side of Tevinter, he said he didn't _require_ me. Not that I minded anymore."

"I can imagine so."

"I packed a large rucksack with two changes of clothes, food and water, then snuck out. As I said before, he lives in a mansion. He had employed numerous guards throughout the house, so I had to incapacitate them all, or most of them, I didn't bother checking the number. I kept running until I snuck onto a cruise ship to Seheron. I ran out of food so I stole some from the on-board restaurant, and when we arrived I went into _every_ shop asking for employment so I could afford more. I eventually found one that took me in, it was a spa of all places." Kimi heard him chuckle lightly at the memory.

"Oh my gosh! You worked in a spa?!" People were staring at her on the train as she cackled.

"Yes, I learned quite a few things from there as well, I am not ashamed to say so! I could give you the _best_ massage you will ever receive."

"Well then, _Fenris_ , when we all meet up I better get the best Maker damned back massage in the whole of Thedas!" _'Stop. Flirting. With. Him.'_

"I gladly accept that challenge. But carrying on, that's how I met my previous guild, the Fog Warriors. One of the teenagers I worked with was in it, he suggested I played."

Kimi enquired further. "How did you play if you didn't have a house?"

"Half of the money I earned went on renting a room at a youth hostel, and I would visit the library to play. Eventually Danarius tracked me and tried to bring me back, but I got the attention of a police officer who called for back up. They took Danarius in and I left, I boarded another ship - this time with nothing, and didn't even know where it took me until I asked someone when we arrived."

"And that's how you got here?"

"Yes. I remembered that _he_ had a holiday home here in Hightown, so I decided to stay here."

 _'So that's how he came to the café, he lives near it!'_ Her train pulled into Hightown Station and she got off, heading to the said place of work.

"Where do you work now? At another spa?" she mused.

"Of a sort, I prefer to say leisure centre, though. I get called in whenever they need me since I'm off the books, when I don't have work I either exercise there or go to the library. So there's my life story, are you satisfied?"

"Very! I mean, not like that I-I meant… I'm glad you told me. But why tell me?" Kimi tried to change the subject after her awkward outburst.

"Well, Danarius has a wine cellar here, I got bored last night so I may have had... a little too much… I'm still tipsy, I think."

"Oh yay! Another alcoholic in the guild." she said sarcastically. She didn't mind people who drink, she even had some of Gamlen's once in awhile just to see why he liked it so much. It was people who drank _aimlessly_ that made her angry.

"I am aware of Isabella's habits, but who else?" she heard him moving about a little, the sound became muffled but returned to normal.

"Hmm… Varric definitely, Merrill occasionally - you need to see her drunk it is _so_ funny, like she's _so_ innocent and then she'll start _stripping_ \- not _every_ time... but sometimes when she's had too much, it's ahh." She laughed out loud, again, at the memory. She was approaching the café and knew she would need to cut off the phone call, but she didn't want to.

"I would not like to imagine her intoxicated… did you dye your hair?"

The question stunned Kimi, she wondered if she heard him wrong. "I'm sorry?"

"Your hair, did you change the colour?"

"How…-"

"I can see you from the balcony, Danarius has a telescope up here, the mansion on top of the hill. Look upwards."

She did as he said, she stopped walking and looked for a 'mansion on a hill'. Viscount's Hill, where the police station and a few majorly rich people lived could be seen from most places in Kirkwall. Sure enough, in the distance she could see a large modern looking mansion atop the hill that definitely looked like a vacation home, she could almost make out a person waving from a balcony. _'He was shuffling about to brag about his accommodation?!'_

"You're joking! Oh my gosh… no, it's dyed purple but my natural roots came through..." she stroked her hair out of shyness, and headed towards the doors of the café.

"You shouldn't do such adorable actions like that… it could make a man go crazy." Fenris mumbled, which enhanced the huskiness of his voice.

Kimi was certain she wasn't meant to have heard the last thing he said, he most likely murmured it or accidentally said it. "Err… I should go now I'm outside work butyoualreadyknowthatcuzyoucanseeme bye!" She would be lying if she said it didn't _affect_ her.

"If you are online later, I'll see you then. Bye."

* * *

The café was set up and ready for customers promptly, twenty minutes before the shop opened at nine o'clock, to be exact. Her increased effort may have been due to a _certain_ male saying _certain_ things that she needed to stop thinking about. Morrigan was on cake duty with Zevran, and she gave Kimi a death glare in response, herself was paired with Feynriel on coffee duty. As soon as they opened a large crowd of customers came in, but Kimi was used to it now. It was Feynriel she worried for. He wasn't a very confident person, but he didn't even _try_ to disguise it like Kimi would.

When the morning rush of people had went, she walked over to Morrigan and Zevran, it seemed they weren't having the most talkative conversation.

"Hey _guys_ , how's life in cake land?" she asked, stressing the 'guys' part to mock Morrigan.

"Oh it is fine, you know, the usual… Morrigan denying the charms of the _mighty_ Zevran." Zevran jested.

"Why are you talking about yourself in the third person?" giggled Kimi, _'He's such a character, I dunno why Morrigan hates him so much.'_

"It makes me more self aware, you know. Heightens my ego."

"Oh, I am sure it would be _impossible_ for it to go any higher." Morrigan interrupted, after leaving to serve a customer. Kimi was disrupted from her conversation by Feynriel, who was trying to calm down a customer. From walking over to him she could see what was wrong instantly.

"What's up Feynriel?" Kimi asked, acting as if she knew nothing. He explained he spilled the customer's coffee, _just as she thought_ , and the woman wanted a refund.

"I see, I'll take it from here..."

Kimi thanked the woman for being patient, and went to the coffee machine and made a larger size of what Feynriel ordered for free. This pleased the woman and she left.

She turned to the boy with a sigh. "Feynriel you can't get all worked up like that, you _know_ what Meredith is like, it's a wonder why she didn't come out of her office in the first place."

"I know I'm sorry Hawke, I get really scared around people like that, I feel like they're going to shout at me, which she did!" he whispered.

"Ugghh, look, just pretend they're just as scared as you, that's what I used to do in my first month here! I'm still a little shy, but most customers like that 'cuz im a girl." she explained.

"I know but… it's just, I'm not a people person. I applied for the job so I could _get over_ it, but it's just made it worse…"

Kimi put her hand on his shoulder encouragingly. "Think of it this way, if a customer comes in and doesn't like you, they won't come back. You'll never see them again. If they do come back, they must like you. It's that simple. Either way you benefit!"

"I… I never thought about it like that! I'll try thinking that next time I get a customer!" Feynriel exclaimed. Kimi saluted him and looked at the clock.

 _'Half an hour till my lunch break. You can do it Kimi!'_

"So Feynriel… why choose to be... an apprentice here?" She asked between mouthfuls. At the start of lunch she had bought a cheese and pickle sandwich from the convenience store a couple streets away. Kimi decided to sit with Feynriel whilst she ate.

"Well, my father left when he found out my mum was pregnant with me. He didn't want to be branded the father of a bastard son, so he left."

"That's a bit harsh."

Feynriel shrugged his shoulders. "I can't say it's his loss, though." he said, depressively.

"It's his loss. There. I said it for you!" Kimi encouraged.

"Thanks. Anyway my mum was struggling with our bills recently because our landlord put up the rent, so I got a job to help."

"Ha! It's like no one wants to work here of their own free will." Kimi laughed, covering her mouth to quieten it when customers began to stare.

"It seems that way! Neither my mum nor myself miss my father, though. Despite our financial situation we're happy without him."

"That's good." Kimi smiled.

"So what of your father? Is he a bastard too?"

She gripped her coffee cup harder, out of uncomfortability. "Was, and no. He was amazing."

"Oh, I'm sorry. Well he raised a great daughter if that makes you feel better."

"Thank you Feynriel," she blushed.

"I mean it, you're such a kind person. I wish there were more customers like you." He joked.

"Me too! Ah, lunch is almost over… damn!" After lunch time the crew would rotate, working on the opposite side of the counter. Kimi put her rubbish in a bin and greeted Zevran at the ovens near the cake display.

"Aren't you meant to be with Morri' at the coffee machines?"

"She convinced Feynriel to _trabajar_ over there, it seems she does not like me very much…" sighed Zevran, who was decorating a carrot cake. Kimi stood next to him, putting icing on several cupcakes.

"She doesn't appreciate you flirting with her, Zev."

"I am aware, it is humorous to watch her face _twist_ in disgust… why all the nicknames?"

She rolled her eyes,"You're so cruel... and you're all my friends, why can't I give nicknames?" she pouted.

"If this is a method of guilt tripping us into using your self-given anime name it isn't working."

"It isn't I swear, I'm used to people not using my _preferred_ name."

"But Hazel is so nice, why do you hate it so?" Zevran asked.

"...Hazel died when my father died…" she murmured, just quiet enough so no one but herself could hear.

"What was that?"

"Because my eyes aren't even hazel, they're blue! It makes no sense." she said, crossing her arms. Kimi was suddenly spun around, her back pressed against the counter with the taller, tanned man pressed against her front. Her heart beat worked faster to catch up with her racing mind, Zevran's face was inches from her own, his eyes locked with her's. _'He has such long eyelashes… wait, why aren't I thinking of how shocked I am?!'_

"Ah, it seems they are!" The weight of him disappeared as he spoke, she could feel herself blushing, as well as the stares of other people.

"Get a room!" shouted Morrigan.

"You are just jealous, mi amore!" retorted Zevran.

* * *

As soon as the clock read three o'clock, Kimi bid the crew farewell as she left the café, her bag already in hand, and made her way to the closest drugstore. She didn't know what colour to dye her, so messaged the group chat for advice.

 **Kimi [kimi_chan], 15:05PM**

\- GUYYYS

\- I'm gonna dye my hair but I dunno what colour :(

She was about to put her phone in her pocket when she got a speedy reply.

 **Merrill [jolly_daisies], 15:05PM**

\- Oooooh what are you thinking of? :-D

Kimi thought Merrill always acted half her age, she was enthusiastic about everything. The woman played DA:O the least out of the group, only being available at school vacations and occasionally weekends; the whole guild had expressed wishing she could play more, her blood mage specialisation _was_ handy.

 **Kimi [kimi_chan], 15:07PM**

\- I dunno :/

\- That's why I'm asking here lol

\- I wouldn't mind a pastel colour but I'd have to get bleach for my roots

 **Isabella [xbellax69], 15:08PM**

\- Hmmmmm

\- Do something sexy like a fiery red or black

\- Or pastel blue! It would match ur eyes :O

 _'Can we not talk about eyes in general please...'_

 **Merrill [jolly_daisies], 15:08PM**

\- It would!

\- Or or maybe

\- Bubblegum pink!

 **Kimi [kimi_chan], 15:10PM**

\- erm no...

\- merrill how are you texting isn't it illegal for teachers to use phones at school or something

 **Merrill [jolly_daisies], 15:11PM**

\- It's Saturday Hawke!

\- I did some marking and painting then went online for a bit :-)

 **Kimi [kimi_chan], 15:12PM**

\- Oh yeah lol

\- I wouldn't miiiind red actually

\- Or a dark purple or brown.

 **Isabella [xbellax69], 15:12PM**

\- Yh! Go like a deep violet or something

 **Merrill [jolly_daisies], 15:13PM**

\- Wait! Go deep violet but keep the tips pastel purple :-D

\- Then fade the darker purple into the lighter one

 **Kimi [kimi_chan], 15:13PM**

\- Merrill ur a fkn genius

\- And it will be less effort if I wanna go light again as well!

\- Ok I'm at the till now.

"Varric?" There was only one dwarf she knew in person, and that person was none other than Varric Tethras.

"Oh! Hey Hawke." he greeted. He had his blonde hair tied back, and was dressed casually.

"Watcha' doing my G?" she jested.

"Just getting some stuff, painkillers mostly, what about you? Changed your character in the game and now in real life?" Varric walked up to the till with Kimi. Kimi thought it was strange seeing how small he was in real life.

"Yeah, my roots are coming through so…"

"I don't understand girl talk but I'm guessing that means your natural colour is coming back?"

Kimi came to the front of the que but offered the dwarf to go first, to which he declined."Yeah, how've you been?" She paid and stood to the side, waiting for Varric to pay. The woman at the till was trying to suppress a laugh and was whispering to her colleague who was giggling too. Kimi suddenly felt angry, nearly squashing the hair dye box in her hand, it was obvious that they were talking about the dwarf, who didn't seem phased by it at all. They exited the drugstore and Kimi felt like apologising on the cashier's behalf.

"Don't sweat it, Hawke." Apparently she wore her emotions clearly on her face.

"But they were making fun of your height! If you said the word I would have gone up to them and have given them something to laugh about: how their scared faces look as I beat them up!" she exclaimed, punching the air as if it were their faces.

"I said don't sweat it. These days people forget it was us dwarves that _mined_ the metal they use on a day to day basis in their phones and what not."

She twirled round, talking to him whilst walking backwards. "Exactly! That's where my fists come in, I'll pummel their faces whilst you tell the stories of your ancestors!" He chuckled at her response but dismissed the request again. They reached the edge of the road and both stopped walking.

"So, which way are you headed, Hawke?"

"This way," she gestured straight ahead, "what about you?"

"My car is parked over there, I'm going to Lowtown if you want a lift."

 _'How lucky am I? First Anders gives me a ride and now Varric offers to carpool too!'_

"Yes please! So... why _do_ you need painkillers?" They both got into his car, and he explained how because of his dwarfism his joints would sometimes hurt. The near hour's ride was filled with conversation, by the time they were not ten minutes away, the topic had switched to gossiping.

"So… about Broody."

"What about him?" Kimi looked out the car window, trying to hide _another_ blush, reminded of what the said elf had said earlier.

"He seems, mysterious, don't you think? The whole white hair thing, and he used to always play Dragon Age Online in a library; but now he plays in his _home_ , which is hardly furnished and you can see the wallpaper hanging off in the background. I mean, how dodgy is that?" Kimi was struggling to reply, she wanted to tell Varric about Fenris, but she didn't want to tell his secrets.

"I'm sure he was his reasons for being sketchy… he could be a drug dealer!"

"Ahaha Hawke! That gives me an idea for a light novel series! Now where's my pen and paper when I need it…"

"VARRIC KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD!"

They made it to Kimi's house without somehow dying, considering that Varric's driving was almost as erratic as Isabella's. Kimi wanted to bring up the question of the guild meeting up sometime, but she didn't know how to ask. In her mind Varric was the leader-figure of the group, despite none of them actually claiming the responsibility. _'What if he turns me down?'_

"What's on your mind, Hawke?" came a familiar voice. _'I really need to stop daydreaming… people will think I'm crazy.'_ She snapped her head away from the window and faced Varric.

"Well, you know how like, the guild hasn't ever met up?"

Varric nodded, cocking his eyebrow at her. "Yeah, I'm guessing you want to?"

"Yeah! Why not? Why do you sound doubtful?"

The dwarf switched off the engine to the car, and readjusted his position. "We only really know each other over video calling. What if the rest of us get all awkward? And what if we end up seeing everyone's true nature in person?"

Kimi put her hand to her chin, thrumming it with her finger. "But that's all ' _What if's_ ', we've known each other for over half a year, Varric. I'm willing to take the chance that they're even nicer in real life than over a call."

"Ha! Then I'm up for it, I imagine our Izzy will only meet up if there's alcohol, though."

Kimi scoffed, rolling her eyes at Varric. "Yeah right, just for mocking her behind her back I'm making you buy if she does say that!" she pointed at Varric, emphasising the 'you'.

"Deal."

She approached her house and waved Varric off before entering, greeting her mother with a hug before heading upstairs to her room. Kimi froze when she heard voices coming from there, _two_ voices. She pressed her ear to the door, trying to hear the discussion - and decipher who's voice it was.

"So, osmosis is the diffusion of water from a lower concentration to a h-"

" _Higher_ concentration to a _lower_ concentration..."

"That's what I meant obviously! Across a partially permeable membrane."

"Yes! And diffusion is the opposite."

"Wait… so what's meiosis?"

"Something completely and utterly different… but I can understand the confusion, they sound very similar."

Kimi spotted and opening and burst through the room, hoping to frighten both Bethany and whoever was in there. The second voice was familiar but she couldn't recognise it without a face to go with it. To her surprise there _wasn't_ a teenage boy with acne sprawled out on her sister's bed - as she had assumed. Instead, there was a blonde man chatting to her sister over a _Skype_ call, with her desk covered with text books, pens, and lined paper.

Bethany screamed at the intrusion, and shouted at Kimi for busting in.

"Oh, hey Hawke." _'Ah, Anders. Wait. Anders?'_

"Hey Hawke? That's what I get? Why is a twenty something year old man video chatting with a fourteen year old girl?"

Her sister scoffed in disbelief. "Erm, sis, calm your tits. He's _helping_ me with biology." Kimi walked towards her sister and perched half on the seat and half on top of Bethany.

"Well then, I'll let you get to it!" she chirped, "Bethanyhowdidyougetmypassword?" Kimi mumbled through her teeth.

"Err, naruxsasu123 isn't the most _difficult_ password to guess when it comes to you, dear sister. It was literally my second attempt."

Kimi covered her face with her hands and turned away from the monitor. "Just get on with your work and go away…" she said, her voice muffled by her hands.

Anders laughed loudly, slapping his hands off of his desk whilst doing so. "Is there anything else you need help with, Beth?" said the blonde, wiping tears from his eyes with his finger.

Bethany shook her head, "That's about it I think… thanks Anders!"

"Then I'll be off, there seems to be a stray cat meowing at my back door, I'm going to go and let it in. I'll see you two later!" Kimi and her sister both said farewell and Kimi disconnected the call.

"You do know he's at _least_ ten years older than you, right?" droned Kimi.

"Maker, Hazel! I'm allowed to crush on guys aren't I?!" screamed Bethany as she shot up from the chair. Bethany only called Kimi by her real name when she was angry, so it shocked the older sister very much when she said so. "It's not like _you_ have a crush on him too." Kimi heard the younger sister say under her breath.

"Oh, please. Stick to people your age. You only hit puberty, what, two years ago?"

Bethany flopped to her bed, laughing at her sister's words. "Oh you would know about that, wouldn't you?"

"Wh-what do you mean by that?!" Kimi's heart stopped for a second, _'She couldn't know about Gamlen, could she? I kept it hidden!'_

"If I recall correctly, _Fenris_ is only five or six years older than you. When you were my age he was nineteen or twenty!" The older sibling exhaled through her nose, mentally thanking the Maker that she was ignorant to the crime Gamlen was committing.

"Bethany, can we just leave this be, please? I'm not in the mood. I'm sorry for accusing you for trying it on with Anders, okay?"

"Hmmmmm… fine, if you get me a milkshake from the kitchen."

Kimi strode over to her sister and hugged her tightly, before grabbing her phone from her bag and putting it in her back pocket. She exited the room and entered the bathroom, her back sliding down the door meeting the floor. A lump had formed in her throat, Kimi tried to swallow it down but it wouldn't budge. She wasn't like this. Her despair could be controlled under normal circumstances, but her darkest secret was getting out of control.

 _'How long? How long is it going to be before mother or Beth find out? Before some body walks in on us? I can't…'_ Tears wetted her face and she had to reach for a towel to place over her mouth to muffle the sobs that erupted from her lungs. Her phone vibrated in her back pocket, but she was lost too far in her thoughts to take notice, or to care.

"I can't do this anymore, I can't… I want to die…" she whispered, repeating the latter clause over and over. Her breath quickened to an abnormal speed, her heart beating at twice the amount it was meant to be. She let her fear take over she slid further down the door, until she was curled in a foetal position, riding out her panic attack on the broken tiled floor. Drool leaked from her mouth as she hiccuped, her hands fisted her hair. _'I can't breathe… what have I done… please no one walk in, no, walk in… help me! No! Leave me alone, I can't breathe… It's your fault you drunken pig!'_

"...I drive myself crazy, 'cause I can't escape the gravity…"

 _'I hate you Gamlen! Just die! Why can't I be normal? Dad… Why did you leave me, Daddy?! We could be fine, normal, away from Gamlen if you didn't die! I'll kill who killed you!...'_

"...keep dragging around what's bringing me down, if I just let go I'd be set free…"

A soft, comforting sound brought her out of the war in her head, it took her a small while to figure out where it was coming from; her back pocket. Still hyperventilating, her shaking hands reached to grasp it. _'I… butt dialed… Fenris'_. She placed the phone next to her head - still in a foetal position - and listened, finally trying to control her breathing.

"I know I'm not the centre of the universe, but you keep spinning 'round be just the same…"

Kimi realised that it was, in fact, Fenris. Singing. His voice was still husky, but softer, more full of emotion than his usual dialect. She recognised the song somewhat, and felt the urge to sing along with him, to let him know she was calm.

"...holding on, why is everything so heavy?"

She wasn't confident, she was still hiccupping, and she was an emotional wreck - but she _wanted_ to join him.

 **"Holding on to so much more I can carry.**

 **I keep dragging around what's bringing me down,**

 **If I just let go I'd be set free.**

 **Holding on, why is everything so heavy?"**

At first she was anxious, only singing a couple words. Her voice only a whisper. Then, she heard his voice quake. She thought that Fenris must have realised she was joining him, but he kept singing - stronger this time. It was then that it became a duet. Their voices complimenting each other almost perfectly if Kimi wasn't hiccupping throughout the moment they shared. They finished the song, both of them apparently not knowing what to say. Kimi had calmed down fully, only sniffling now. She sat up and leaned against the bathroom door, putting her phone to her ear. It was Fenris who broke the silence.

"Uhm... you wouldn't calm down, I heard singing helps..." He didn't sound so confident, now. Kimi heard him clear his throat awkwardly. "I think you should tell me now, considering you were just begging to die."

Kimi sighed into the phone, she didn't want him to find out like this; a butt dial, of all things. She exhaled again, before whispering. "There isn't a light way to say this, but my uncle… he… does _things_ -"

" _Hawke_."

She couldn't say it out loud. Not only because she didn't want to vocalise it, but because if someone were to be standing on the opposite side of the door she would be in a reasonably large amount of trouble. She minimised the call and opened the messaging app, sending him a message.

"Check your inbox." She wimpered.

 **Kimi [kimi_chan], 17:13PM**

\- ...sexual things...

\- He hasn't gone all the way yet but I'm scared he will

\- He's been doing it for a while and it's getting harder to keep it a secret

"Hazel…" Fenris' voice was thick with a mixture of sadness, disgust and anger.

 **Kimi [kimi_chan], 17:13PM**

\- It's funny that u call me that

\- That's what he calls me when he's doing it with me

\- That's why I hate my name so much

"You can't let him plague your name, it is your own. I despise the name Fenris, it is the name he gave me, but I keep it because it reminds me of the person I am. The person I am yet to become. Leto is dead, Fenris is who I am now."

 **Kimi [kimi_chan], 17:14PM**

\- Easier said than done

\- When someone calls me Hazel all I can imagine is him moaning it

\- It makes me sick

Fenris spoke, woefully. "Why haven't you told Aveline about this? She could have put an end to this before it got this far."

Kimi looked up to the ceiling. She was scared. Scared that she would lose the court case and he would punish her. Scared that he would go to prison, but break out and then punish her more heavily. Scared that he would serve his time, hunt her down and punish her, killing her in the process. No. She wanted him dead, so that he could no longer hound her thoughts.

 **Kimi [kimi_chan], 17:15PM**

\- We would have nowhere to go.

\- If we moved house he would come back.

She could hear Fenris shuffling around, and concluded that he must be bored and was doing something else to keep occupied.

 **Kimi [kimi_chan], 17:15PM**

\- I'm better now Fenris

\- You can go

"No. I shall remain until I see fit that I do."

Kimi scoffed at him, he reminded her of a dog being faithful to his master.

 **Kimi [kimi_chan], 17:16PM**

\- And when would that be?

"I… fasta vas I don't know… I don't want to leave you, you said you wanted to die. How do you expect me to be okay with leaving you after you say that?"

Kimi didn't reply. She audibly sighed, but didn't type a response. She didn't know what to say. "This is so awkward…" she whispered, after several seconds of silence.

"Yes, it is." Fenris chuckled, awkwardly.

"How about I play the Maker damned game until midnight, then you can 'evaluate' my well being?"

"That sounds reasonable enough, I shall see you in ten minutes?" he asked, a little happier than before.

Kimi hummed in agreement, and hung up. She washed her face with cold water to try and shrink the swelling of her eyes from crying. Her whole body felt heavy after her panic attack, her chest feeling tight. _'And water can't cure this… why am I so weak?'_

She left the bathroom, expecting her mother to be on the other side of the door ready to interrogate her on why she spent so long in there - but there was no one. Somewhat relieved, she walked down the hallway and to her bedroom. She heard Leandra and Bethany talking in the living room about knitting, and figured that Leandra must have called Bethany downstairs earlier - which explained why Bethany hadn't commented on her sudden toilet singing.

Kimi opened up the game and video call program and warped to Fenris' character, wondering what quest he would ask her aid on this time.

* * *

 **The song was Heavy by Linkin Park, I wasn't sure what song would suit the moment, if fact I searched up lyrics for an hour, but I listened to this randomly while writing this chapter and I thought I'd make them sing to this :)**

 **Disclaimer: All brands, lyrics, software etc I've mentioned in the fic doesn't belong to me...**

 ***REVIEWS WELCOME* Don't like the fic? Tell me why! Criticism is the only way I improve, and there is no critic tougher than myself, so I can handle nasty words from others :)**


	6. Chapter 5 I

**Chapter 5! I'M SORRY ITS SO LATE AGAIIIIN So basically when I submitted last chapter it came up with this some thing (which I thought nothing of as the chapter was uploaded), but I realised that on the story page it still said that the last update was last month when I had in fact uploaded on the 4th May. I updated the chapter again but it wouldn't appear when I refreshed the Dragon Age fanfic feed. If this chapter does the same thing ima be so mad :(**

 ***ReViEwS wElCoMe***

* * *

Fenris' POV:

Fenris was riding his motorbike back to his vacant home after an uneventful afternoon at work. Wind soared past his ears violently due to the lack of headgear, his white mop of hair blowing backwards wildly. He wouldn't normally be going over the speed limit, but his mind was prioritised by a _certain_ lilac haired woman. She was _literally_ going to be the death of him, if he didn't stop speeding.

He shortly arrived -alive- to Danarius' vacation home, the motion sensing lights almost blinding him as he entered from the winter darkness outside. The days, he realised, were growing shorter. It was almost four thirty despite the sky appearing as if it were midnight, Winter was fast approaching. He threw his keys onto a table in the living room and collapsed into the sofa, his hands wiping over his face in exhaustion.

"This woman…" he sighed, he had never felt this way about _anyone_. He hadn't proclaimed any feelings even mildly related to love to any woman, but that apparently hadn't stopped him from letting his thoughts slip in the morning.

" _You shouldn't do such adorable actions like that… it could make a man go crazy."_

He began ranting to himself, his voice echoing throughout the derelict house. "Kaffas, Fenris! You _stupid_ man! That is no way you should talk to a woman, what did Danarius teach you? First you begin flirting with her aimlessly, like a man deprived of intercourse."

Which he was, technically, for almost two years.

"Then you tell her about your past, that you vowed to keep secret from anyone lest they snitch! She could run to Danarius right this second! Then, oh then, you alert her to her your Maker damned arousal! If this were in the online game people would assume you were a lust demon!" Fenris paced back and forth, continuing his rant further until he calmed himself, sinking into the sofa again.

' _I need to tell someone of this… before it swallows me alive. But who? It has always been Hazel, or Hawke, or Kimi.'_

"Kaffas! So many names for one person!"

He removed his bike leathers before reaching for his mobile, scrolling through his contacts. _'Anders? No, he would jest about this and never let it go. Isabella?'_ he scoffed, _'...don't be a fool, she would tell you to bed Hawke and be done with her. Varric? He would- he may actually be useful…'_

Fenris tapped Varric's contact and sent him a message.

 **Fenris, 16:25PM**

\- Varric.

\- I am in need of advice, I am hoping that you will be able to assist me.

It took Varric a number of minutes to reply, Fenris had gone into the kitchen to make himself a suitable dinner when he heard his phone vibrate on the counter behind him.

 **Varric, 16:29PM**

\- Well whadayaknow

\- The great brooding master coming to ME of all people! :D

 **Fenris, 16:30PM**

\- Yes. It is I.

\- Are you free to talk?

Fenris paused from frying seasoned chicken breasts on the stove, grabbing some red peppers, mushrooms, and onions from the refrigerator. He was almost finished dicing all of them when he received another notification.

 **Varric, 16:32PM**

\- Yeah I just dropped off Hawke

\- Or Kimi

\- Or Hazel whichever you call her

 **Fenris, 16:33PM**

\- I prefer Hazel, it is her real name.

\- I wish to speak, in confidence, about her.

He finished dicing the vegetables and put them to the side of the stove, waiting for the chicken to cook.

 **Varric, 16:33PM**

\- Are you shitting me?

\- YOU wanna have a GUYS TALK?

 **Fenris, 16:33PM**

\- Unfortunately, for you. I despise confiding my emotions to people, this will not be routine.

 **Varric, 16:34PM**

\- Whatever you say broody ;)

\- Wait you wanna talk about Hawke?

 **Fenris, 16:34PM**

\- Yes.

\- She has been dominating my thoughts as of recent.

\- I am beginning to think that my harmless flirting is starting to have some weight behind it.

He grabbed a saucepan from a shelf above him and began frying the vegetables, adding a small amount of salt and pepper - his hands shaking as he did so out of anticipation of Varric's response.

 **Varric, 16:35PM**

\- NO SHIT

\- Dayum

\- You're crushing on Hawke?

Fenris nearly choked on a raw pepper he swiped from the saucepan.

 **Fenris, 16:35PM**

\- So that is what this feeling is?

\- Am I… sweet on Hazel?

 **Varric, 16:35PM**

\- Well broody its been over 6 months since you first met her

\- That should be enough time for you to develop FEELINGS for her

\- Shit wait till Izzy hears about this she's been trying to get in your pants for months!

Fenris couldn't believe what he was reading. All this time…

 **Fenris, 16:36PM**

\- Isabella will be hearing nothing of this.

\- What do I do, dwarf?

\- I am not familiar with this feeling.

 **Varric, 16:36PM**

\- Jeez I feel like a match maker right now

\- Well how do you feel when you think about her?

 **Fenris, 16:36PM**

\- How does this relate to anything?

\- My heart... quickens. I feel my face become warm. What does this mean?

His thoughts went back in time to when Fenris first saw her at the café. Of course he didn't know it was Hazel, but when she smiled at him to say goodbye it left him feeling warm inside - like that one gesture instilled a happiness in him that he hadn't felt for _so long_. He didn't plan on eating there but something made Fenris want to just be around her more.

 **Varric, 16:37PM**

\- I'm trying to determine how urgent you need to tell Hawke about this.

\- And by the looks of it you've fallen pretty hard!

\- Has Hawke told you about wanting to meet up? The whole guild, I mean.

 **Fenris, 16:37PM**

\- Yes, why should I tell her?

 **Varric, 16:37PM**

\- Well don't you wanna know if she feels the same way?

\- The only way your crush will disappear is if you tell her

\- She can then say she feels the same way or can turn you down

\- But I'm warning you now I'm not good with breakups broody

' _Hazel feeling the same way? It would be comforting, after all.'_

 **Fenris, 16:37PM**

\- This is ridiculous.

\- And what if, somehow, she does feel the same way about me?

 **Varric, 16:38PM**

\- Then you start dating, she becomes your girlfriend, you start courting her, you get married and have broody babies…

Fenris' heart hammered against his ribs, _'Married?! Children?!'_

 **Fenris, 16:37PM**

\- I do not think I am ready for this.

 **Varric, 16:38PM**

\- RELAX BROODY

\- Just take it slowly, start dating and wait it out a couple months, heck even a year if you're scared, if the feelings are still there then ask her to be your girlfriend.

' _This… this could work, I regret having doubts about Varric. For someone who gives such good advice, why hadn't he a significant other?'_

 **Fenris, 16:38PM**

\- I am in your debt, Varric.

\- If you are ever in need a favour, I am your man.

 **Varric, 16:38PM**

\- Don't sweat it broody

\- Just remember to take her feelings into account too

\- I think you have a pretty strong chance

Varric's last message left him puzzled. _'A chance of what? Why does he think that?'_

 **Fenris, 16:38PM**

\- What do you mean, dwarf?

\- Has she said anything to you regarding her relationship with myself?

 **Varric, 16:39PM**

\- Not SAID persay

\- Insinuated would be a better word

\- But that's all I can say, I don't wanna speak on Hawke's behalf :)

\- If this group meet that she's thinking of goes ahead, that would be the perfect time to tell her

 **Fenris, 16:40PM**

\- I understand.

\- We shall talk later, I shall come online shortly.

The vegetables on the stove were now well sauted, and the chicken was almost cooked. He put the vegetables in the pan as the chicken, mixing them around in the seasoning until they were both well cooked.

Fenris enjoyed cooking for himself, he was in control of everything involved; the time to cook it, the intensity of the flavour, the tenderness of the meats and so on. It was a small pleasure that meant more than it should to him, not that he minded. He took out a box of bread dough from the refrigerator that he had made for a meal some nights prior, and it out so it was thin and about the size of a large plate. He then put it into the oven and let it cook whilst the rest of the meal was on low heat. Waiting for the bread to cook, he sat at the counter thinking of how to confess his feelings to Hazel; he was so in thought that tens of minutes went past. He had sat so still that the motion sensing lights had switched off above him. Fenris hurried over to the oven and opened it, a small part of him praying the bread wasn't burned. Upon finding it was not, he pulled it out from the oven and placed it onto the counter. With a large spoon he took the spiced chicken and vegetables and put them onto the bread, rolling and folding the bread around it.

' _And I shall call it… a spicy chicken wrap!'_ he chuckled at himself, and sat at the counter again after turning the oven off. Fenris was half way through enjoying his creation when his phone vibrated, this time it was not a message, but a call. From the lilac haired woman.

"Haz-Hawke?" he caught himself just in time. No reply came, so he assumed she didn't hear him.

"Hawke, why did you call? Hello?" But again there was no reply, he would be lying if he said he wasn't a little on edge. Something wasn't right. Fenris was about to hang up the call, but there were… noises, definitely. He put the volume at his phone's highest and listened carefully. A small voice made itself known to him.

"I can't do this anymore, I can't… I want to die… I want to die, please something kill me… kill me please! I want to be with you, daddy! Take me to you…"

Weeping. Hazel was weeping, and from the looks of it she accidentally called him. Her sobs, muffled as they were, sparked something inside him. He wanted to comfort her, wishing he could reach out and cradle her, but he couldn't. He wouldn't let her feel like this alone. So, he put his wrap down, _'I don't even know if she will be able to hear me',_ cleared his throat and sung. His voice wasn't as practiced as it used to be many years ago, but if Danarius were here he would still get goosebumps. Fenris didn't know why he was doing so, he looked back on memories as a child where his mother would sing when he cried, it just felt _right_ to do so now.

Fenris got through the first verse, and he heard the sound muffle, _'she is moving…'_ her breaths became louder, and it became apparent to him that she was having a panic attack - but he still kept singing, whilst she remained silent.

Then, her voice came through. Fenris was stunned, surprised that she knew the song, but more that she was singing along with him. His voice wavered, but a sudden wave of confidence overcame him; he sung louder, silently urging her to do the same. They harmonised for what felt like forever, never would he have thought that firstly, there would be a moment where they sung together; secondly, that her voice could be so full of emotion. They both sung the last line, silence hanging in the air. _'I should break the quiet, lest she ends the call in fear like a wild animal'_.

"Well...I…" he failed to make a sentence, then, he realised what she was whispering. His stomach dropped at the realisation. _'She wants to die? But surely she would tell me, I am her friend. Aren't I?'_

"I think you should tell me what's wrong, considering you were just begging to die…" _'Venhedis, Fenris! Don't be so insensitive!'_

Hazel explained through text messages how her uncle would abuse her, Fenris could feel bile rising up his throat. _'At least whilst Danarius would abuse me I consented, ignorant did I know however, this man is raping her!'_ His cheeks suddenly felt damp.

The sick feeling in his stomach suddenly disappeared, however, when he blurted that he didn't want to leave her. Fenris suddenly felt so protective of the woman that he couldn't think straight; he wanted to kill Gamlen with his bare hands. She had replied, proposing that to calm his paranoia he kept watch of her until midnight, which he gladly accepted to (covered up with his usual stoic speech, of course). He agreed, knowing full well that it would not take his mind off of Hawke, so that she would not worry about him.

"Yes, that seems reasonable enough."

Fenris finished his now cold chicken wrap, and headed for his bedroom where his laptop usually was. He pondered what quest would be right to complete for this occasion. Hawke was now level 60, so much harder, longer quests would be unlocked.

"Hmm… yes, this should be suitable."

* * *

Kimi's POV:

Kimi switched her PC on and logged into the game. Telling Fenris her darkest secret had resulted in a great weight having left her shoulders. She felt happy. Relieved. _Free_. An emotion she had not felt for what seemed like a long time. Whilst DA:O loaded she checked herself over, spitting onto her fingers to wipe away excess mascara and eyeliner that had run down her face, then leapt back to the desk after hearing a certain elf was video calling her.

She answered the call, greeting him as he did her. Fenris was looking at her differently, _'in pity no doubt'_ , she thought. Her eyes wandered to his as he spoke about the quest they were to be completing, they looked as if he had been crying, but were somewhat softer than usual. She zoned back into the conversation, apparently they would be instructed to clear a cave inhabited by a colony of blood mages.

"That seems reasonably easy…"

Fenris laughed, "It appears so, but they are trying to summon a demon, a powerful one, that will cause the destruction of Thedas if we do not stop it." Kimi rolled her eyes at how immersed in the game he was.

"Relax, Fenris, it isn't real!"

"I thought one of the conditions of being in Wicked Grace was to never talk about the game _as a game_."

"Yes… but… no one actually does that, nevermind- let's just go to the quest giver, please." Had her bound by the rules of the guild, it appeared he took the game more seriously than anyone else.

They approached a man in Viscount's Keep, who explained that he lived on a farm outside of the city. He described hearing loud chanting coming from a cave not far from Sundermount, and seeing flashing lights coming from within - yet no one had seen people enter or exit. The man's story made Kimi's stomach sink, some quests were so frightening that it was as if she was playing a horror game.

"And these are blood mages?" she asked Fenris.

He leaned forwards, "Yes, but from what I can remember from my previous account they are very powerful blood mages. We might need to ask… our friends, for help."

' _He referred to the guild as friends! This is such an improvement! Go Fenris!'_

"Let's see who's online… Varric... yes, Izzy… no, probably hungover again, Aveline… yes! And Anders..." Kimi mumbled to herself, "Is three extra people enough?"

Fenris hummed to himself, "It should be sufficient, having five players would speed up phase one…"

"Phase one? There's two parts?"

"Phase one is clearing out the cave, when we stumble upon them summoning the demon. An hour or so afterwards, a day in the game, we will be approached by the same farmer who pleads us to back to the cave, long story short we didn't _actually_ kill all the blood mages and they summoned the demon."

"Well shit," Kimi deadpanned, which earned a laugh from Fenris.

"Yes, kaffas indeed."

"Kaffas?"

"It means shit in Tevene."

An idea popped into Kimi's head, "Heck yeah! I can swear in Tevene at work now, and not get fired!"

"Unless anyone knows Tevene… such as me."

"But you would have to come to the café to hear me swear," she said childishly, "for which the chances of you doing so are quite low."

Fenris breathed humorously through his nose, "I wouldn't say that. I might come in next Monday, hear you saying foul words in my language, and beg for the manager!"

Kimi pushed a lock of hair behind her ear, quirking her eyebrow at his words, "You wouldn't _dare_ …"

"GET A ROOM LOVEBIRDS!"

"For fucksake Bethany! Learn to knock!" screamed Kimi to her sister who she had failed to hear enter their bedroom.

"So you are not opposed to your sister referring to us as love birds?" Fenris whispered into his microphone, which Kimi scrunched her face at in denial.

" _Interesting_ … anyway, should you message the guild chat or I?"

"I will, I'm more approaching than you," she joked.

 **Kimi_chan** (G) guyyyysss

 **Kimi_chan** (G) whoever wants to help me and Fenris kill some blood mages and help stop a powerful demon taking over the world say AYE!

 **Valen** (G) Aye Hawke

 **Biancas_man** (G) Aye!

 **Ser_pounce_alot** (G) Aye. I imagine Fenris wasn't the hardest to convince to do this with you?

 **Broody_elf** (G) Twas I who suggested it, mage.

 **Ser_pounce_alot** (G) why am I not surprised…

They entered the cave after accepting the quest from the farmer, immediately Kimi felt uneasy. _'Yep, just out of a horror game!' ,_ she thought, sensing a chill running down her spine. The cave was not like any other in the game, appearing as such at first but soon began to look like an underground dungeon of a sort the further they walked through it. The whole area was dimly lit, with candles levitating in the air, no doubt due to the blood mage's' powers, and moss hanging from the walls. The guild successfully fought half way through, with Anders and Varric making witty remarks whenever they killed someone.

"Guys, can you please stop you're making me cringe so badly I wanna puke…"

Varric scoffed, acting offended, "You should know by now that I love the sound of my own voice, Hawke."

"But Anders literally said 'time to meet your Maker'' when he scorched the last guy, that's not even original!"

"I ran out of ideas! This is harder than it looks… why don't you try?" whined Anders.

"And embarrass myself in front of Bethany? No thanks…" Upon hearing her name, Bethany shot up from her bed and stumbled towards Hawke, sitting in her lap.

"Let me have a try! I've got one!" she squealed.

Anders' eyes lit up when seeing Bethany, Kimi noted; something was definitely going on between the two but she pushed the thought aside, interrupted by Bethany snatching the keyboard and mouse from her.

"Okay, okay, let me think… FREEEEDOOOOOMMMM!" she screamed into the microphone, controlling Kimi's character to charge into a room.

"Wait Kim-Bethany! There's a-"

"Oh…" Kimi's character had fallen down a hole, conveniently placed in the middle of the room the guild was in.

"...hole," Fenris finished. Two powerful blood mages suddenly appeared, which startled the group, rendering Varric and Anders too surprised to make a witty remark. The fight finished not two minutes afterwards.

Aveline entered in a fit of giggles, as did the mage.

"Fenris, how do I get out…" Kimi pouted, taking the keyboard and mouse back from Bethany, who had belly flopped her bed out of embarrassment. The said man had his face hidden behind his hands, apparently he found the situation hilarious as well. _'The little things he does are so cute…'_

"If Anders has a telekinesis spell, he can lift you out. But we have to go down there anyway to get to the inner sanctum, so I see no reason to unless you want to open the chest over there..." he said, after his face returned to its usual stoic expression.

Kimi denied the offer, and the guild made their way through the dungeon, it seemed like the blood mages were a part of a cult, Kimi learned from reading scattered letters and codex entries. She wondered why she hadn't heard of them or the quest.

"Fenris… how come you know about this quest? I've never heard of it!"

Fenris hummed, "It's really old, one of the earlier side quests made famous for being so difficult, even for level sixties such as yourself. I imagine that after players learned about glitches it got overplayed, leading to everyone forgetting about it. I remember the graphics for the spells towards the end being quite eye catching, so Anders will be impressed I don't doubt," he smiled at the mage, who expressed his excitement to see them.

They all made their way towards the inner hall, and all the guild members gasped when they reached the edge of the path. A bright red ball of light floated in the air above numerous towers, with streams of the light swirling around it coming from the blood mages, who were stood in a circle atop a large tower. _'Well he wasn't lying, even for a purely evil summoning ritual it is kinda pretty'_.

"Fuck, broody you weren't lying! What a view!" gasped Varric.

"I rarely lie, dwarf, now quickly let's get this over with; there is a chest all the way over there…" Fenris made his character gesture to the location of the chest, "with some good armour and weapons."

"Sounds good, let's move out!" ordered Aveline, who Kimi thought was being quieter than usual. _'Why is everyone acting so strange today? This whole guild is just a bunch of weirdos with heavy back stories…'_

"Hawke, use your sneaking ability to assassinate the first group of people. Stealth is the best way to do this. When you finish one room we shall follow."

Kimi snorted, "Hah! No pressure, then…"

"No pressure," he repeated, the corner of his mouth lifting slightly.

Kimi activated stealth and slipped into the following room, backstabbing a blood mage in the heart and whirling around to sever the head off of another, a skeleton rose from the ground just before she did so, but disappeared when it's conjurer was slain. As said earlier, the rest of the party soon followed, watching Kimi work and talking amongst themselves about the reward for completing the task at hand. Kimi moved from room to room, eyeing her XP bar increase a little after each kill, soon reaching the main tower where the head blood mage was conducting the ritual atop it. She stopped just before entering.

"Now can you all join me? You know… like storming the castle!" In truth she just didn't want to take the mages by herself, she only just made it this far without using up too many elfroot potions.

"C'mon broody let's go. We have hardly fought through this whole thing." begged Varric.

Fenris sighed, "Agh, I see no reason why not, doing nothing but follow you (is) becoming tiresome."

"Yes! Okay, on three!"

The party sprinted up the stairs to the tower, slaughtering the mages with each step. When they made it to the roof the ball of red light was almost blinding. The head blood mage uttered words about 'it being too late', but as he spoke they all charged at once, Kimi threw a poison bomb at the mages, of which there were seven. Whilst they choked on the toxin Aveline and Fenris charged in, tearing them down like they were training dummies; Varric firing at them to slow them down and Anders distracting them with his frost magic. Then it was down to three, the main blood mage in what looked like a trance, a force field surrounded him so nobody could go near him, Fenris uttered instructions over his microphone and everyone followed. Kimi activated stealth and sprinted up to him, stabbing him from behind as Varric distracted him with a sharp bolt to the thigh, lowering the barrier for a millisecond. Aveline was busy taking down the remaining cult members, who was joined with Varric. Anders had cast a frost spell which froze him in place, creating the perfect opportunity for Fenris to stride up to him, he ripped out the mage's heart before he bellowed,

"Your demon shall (not) enter this world tonight!"

...crushing his heart to pixelated dust.

Carcasses of the fallen cult littered the top of the tower, the red ball morphed into a red mist, floating around the room and exited through a break in the ceiling of the tomb. They left the tower and made their way to the chest that Fenris had spoke of.

"Well, I think that is the king of all witty/cheesy combat phrases," sighed Varric.

Anders laughed, "Yeah, that was pretty smooth, how'd you even come up with that?"

"It just seemed right." said the elf, flatly.

' _How can this guy be so cool! He was made to play video games like a boss!'_ Kimi internally screamed.

"It was pretty cool, I'll give you that, although I think my sprint was just as awesome too…" she crossed her arms stubbornly.

"Oh?" Fenris quirked an eyebrow at her.

Everyone had finished looting the chest, _'Fenris wasn't lying, again, these Finesse daggers are pretty_ cool!'

"NO SHIT! I got Glandivalis!This is one of the rarest longswords in the game!" screached Aveline, her voice almost breaking.

"I got a rare staff too, this is a keeper!" boasted Anders, with Varric concurring boasting about his new armour.

"We have to wait an hour now before we have to go to the farmer again, don't we?" asked Aveline.

Fenris turned his attention to the guard captain, "Yes, by my clock it is nearing eight o'clock, I propose that we take a break and rejoin in an hours time - which should give everyone enough time to eat dinner…"

"Finally! I don't know if anyone else can hear it but my stomach has been rumbling this whole time! See you in an hour, peeps!" gushed Varric, who was no longer online on neither the video call or the game.

"So that's what I could hear…" uttered Aveline, thrumming her chin with her finger, "Well, I'm going to make dinner, we'll talk later, hopefully."

"I'm gonna go dye my hair, I forgot to yesterday…" Kimi chuckled nervously.

"I look forward to seeing it!" spoke Anders.

" _If it dyes well! Izzy will take the piss out of me if I do this wrong!"_

"As do I," Fenris nodded, "nine o'clock it is, then."

Kimi logged out and stretched her muscles whilst sitting. She tried to remember where the hair dye was and walked over to it, picking it up and exited the bedroom. She made her way to the bathroom, dodging the numerous cracks in the floorboards and applied the hair dye once in the bathroom. Kimi left a quarter of her hair at the ends as Merrill had suggested, applying the hair dye with a prickly brush; its bristles were bleached from when she had last used it. She wrapped foil over the dyed sections and played on her phone for half an hour, looking at images of Varric's and Aveline's dinner that they had posted to the group chat. Kimi's belly rumbled in response. _'Skipping dinner may not have been a good idea.'_

She strode downstairs to the kitchen, and found leftover pasta bake, putting it into a bowl and pouring herself a smoothie from the fridge before sitting at the counter to eat her meal. Whilst deep in thought, she realised that this would, in fact, be the perfect opportunity to ask the guild about meeting up. She had gone through a number of ideas of when to schedule it, the most prominent being the Satinalia holiday that was soon coming. It lasted from the first Friday of November until the following Monday, with the latter day being classed as a national holiday; four whole days spent with the guild. What to do during that time? She didn't have a clue. Kimi sighed, having finished her dinner she headed for her bathroom to wash off the dye.

* * *

' _Merrill was right… it looks amazing!'_ Kimi thought as she blow dried her now partially dark purple hair in her room. The darker colour slowly faded into the pastel purple ends, she made a mental note to thank the raven haired girl when she next spoke to her. Kimi switched off the hair dryer and sat at her PC once again, preparing herself for the next quest; Fenris had said it was especially challenging if walking in without a plan, so she tried to form one in her head. He had said there were to be many waves of various level skeletons and even _more_ blood mages, it didn't put off her excitement in any way, however. Kimi enjoyed challenges.

She opened up _Skype_ and the game, logging into both. She had loaded in her last location, at Viscount's Keep having previously handing in the last quest (for a disappointing amount of gold for all the effort) there. There were at least a hundred other players in the room, if she wasn't in a guild so being able to search for the other members, she wouldn't be able to identify them in such a large crowd. Kimi had zoned out when she got video called by Varric, breaking her out of her daydream.

"Oh, hey Varric! Sorry I wasn't quite there mentally…" she nervously chuckled.

"Thinking about how much gold we're gonna get for doing this?" enquired Varric, who had a smudge of leftover food on the corner of his mouth - which Kimi didn't bother telling him about.

"No… but how much do we get? Did Fenris tell you?"

Varric grinned, "Yeah, he said we technically save all of Thedas, and along with the quest being so difficult we could get up to ten thousand gold!"

"No shit! I'm gonna sooo gonna craft some new armour after this! Or buy some… it depends if I can be bothered to farm for resources…"

"Ha! Typical Hawke," he rolled his eyes, "so when are you gonna ask the guild about meeting up?"

Kimi hummed in thought, "Ahh, I was going to now, Satinalia is coming up so we get an extended weekend 'cuz everyone has work cancelled on the Monday…"

"Seems good! So what do you have planned?"

' _...the dreaded question…'_ Kimi sighed in thought.

"I dunno, I haven't thought that far… I was thinking of going up to Sundermount, they usually have a massive fayre there - you know, stalls, ice skating and we can go trekking or something I dunno…"

Varric visibly thought for a while before speaking, "It sounds good but isn't it, I dunno, _Winter_... it's gonna be too cold to camp. Maybe if we all hung out here then went up to Sundermount for a night it'll go better with the guild."

"That might actually work!"

[ **Broody_elf** and **Vallen** are now online!]

" 'Sup guys!" Kimi exclaimed, "Where's Anders?"

"I messaged him a couple minutes ago, he said he had WiFi problems but should be online in a jiffy."

Varric suddenly gasped audibly, pointing at his screen."Hold on… Broody, what are you holding?"

Kimi minimised DA:O, opening the video call to see what Varric what screeching about, _'It could be a freaking dildo from Varric's tone!'_

"I do not know what you are talking about, dwarf. It is just a mug of coffee…"

"On the coffee cup! Is that what I think it is?"

Fenris turned his cup around to face himself, his eyes widened and his face flushed pink. "I-I don't see what is wrong… it is just a kitten…"

"YOU TOLD BLONDIE YOU HATE CATS! Oh boy I'm printscreening this, everyone else do the same!"

"No! He won't let me forget this…!"

"Fenris is a big ol' softy! I'm recording this already Varric, my attention to detail is much more developed than yours, it seems!" Aveline jested.

Fenris hid the cup away from sight, trying to rid himself of the red tint to his face. "You are all bullies, the lot of you..."

[ **Ser_pounce_alot** is now online!]

Anders had a huge scowl on his face, Kimi noticed. "You. You lied to me! You told me you hated cats!"

"It-It was cute, alright? I only said that to make you angry."

"Then admit right now that you, Fenris, do like cats."

Fenris smirked mischievously, causing ripples in Kimi's stomach. "Not in your wildest dreams, mage."

Anders disappeared out of camera view, but returned with a caramel coloured Siamese cat. "Then, say it to Ser Pounce-Alot." Fenris shot Anders a disapproving look, which soon softened when his gaze turned to the fluff-ball Anders was holding. "You don't even have to admit it, I can see it in your eyes. You're a cat person at heart no matter how much you deny it."

"Th-that isn't true! Can we please proceed with the quest at hand!" Fenris whined, clearly losing the argument.

"Hawke, tell Fenris he is in denial… Hawke?"

Kimi's head was resting on the desk, her shoulders shaking from laughing so hard. She lifted her face upon hearing her name, and taking one look at both Anders and Fenris began cackling again; this time with tears running down her face.

"I'm sorry… I just… you two have been at each other's throats for the past half year… and this is what you finally agree on... cats!" The whole party went silent, then bust into laughter, the two males included.

It was then that Kimi realised that this was what it was like to be part of a group of friends, lifelong friends. It felt like a family. A healthy, fully functional, witty, crazy family - that she never wanted to leave.

* * *

 **YES THE QUEST THEY DID IS BASED OFF OF A QUEST FROM SKYRIM… I HAD WRITER'S BLOCK AND DIDN'T KNOW WHAT QUEST FOR THEM TO DO**.

 ***PLEASE REVIEW***


	7. Chapter 5 II

**Chapter 5 part two… I'm slowly gaining fav's & follows and it means so much to me, and thanks to aooor for reviewing! :'3**

* * *

As predicted, a notification soon appeared telling the guild to warp to the farmer's house. Once there, he pleaded them to investigate the cave again, with Kimi laughing at the voice actor's emotional speech.

"So the cave leads to the demon's lair?" asked Anders.

Fenris nodded, "Yes, a trap door opens when we go inside, that was previously inaccessible, that after an hour's trek leads directly into ancient dungeons underneath Viscount's Keep."

"The demon has connections to the Viscount?!"

"That would be correct, Hazel, it turns out the demon was previously a woman of nobility, but was a mage, a necromancer of all things. She practiced raising the dead to figure out how to become immortal and rule over Thedas, but unsurprisingly her plans backfired, she cast herself into the fade. She had followers left behind who for over a hundred years tried to put her back into a body, which they have now succeeded at - bringing us to the present."

"Woah… this game is so in depth! I can't wait to see how powerful she is in human form!" Kimi exclaimed, but Aveline interrupted her.

"Fenris, DA:O is loosely based on the true historical information of Thedas…"

"As close as the historical records allow."

"Yes, was this woman real? The necromancy included?"

Fenris hummed in thought, the possibility that a woman this powerful had once exist made Kimi's stomach curl. "Well, since magic used to exist until the Templars figured out how to dispel magic throughout the world, it's likely. Or is just an old wives tale - whichever you prefer to believe."

They made their way up the mountain and headed into the cave again. Despite it only being a simulation, the cave felt emptier to Kimi than when they previously entered. There were no floating candles to light the party's way through the winding tunnel, no suspenseful music that highlighted the possibility of an attack. Only the sound of her and her companions footsteps that indicated life in there, and the dripping of water hitting the floor from the ceiling to accompany it. As Fenris had said, underneath a rug in the tower where their last battle located was a trap door. The party one by one entered the tunnel underneath. Anders cast a small orb of light to illuminate the long pathway.

"So this is walk is going to take about an hour?"

"Yep! Who's got any embarrassing stories they want to tell to pass the time?" Joked Varric.

"Oh, I bet you have _more_ than a few, dwarf," Aveline retorted.

In the end, it was in fact Varric who told the most, followed by Anders, and then Aveline with Kimi last. Fenris not telling anything was no surprise. They had nearly reached the end of the tunnel when Kimi told everyone _her_ embarrassing moment.

"Ah, I have too many… well there's the mediocre ones like calling my teacher 'mother'…"

"BOOORING HAWKE! We need more humour to beat Aveline's sodding honeymoon story!"

"Hey! I didn't know what to expect on a honeymoon - I didn't know I had to wear my best lingerie…"

Fenris scoffed, "So you just so _happened_ to wear your mabari face printed knickers?"

Kimi sighed, _'they aren't gonna let this go…'_

"Well one time I walked in on Izzy making out with my brother..." she interrupted the two.

Aveline made a choking noise, as well as Fenris whilst drinking the last of his coffee.

"Oh shit! Spit it out before the seductress herself comes online!" Blurted Varric.

"Yes. You have to tell us now!" Urged Anders.

"Ahh, well we were at school-"

"Uh-huh…"

"And it was around lunchtime-"

"Yeah…"

"Aveline! Please stop interrupting me!"

Aveline stammered, "I-I can't help it, just skip to the good part!"

"Ugh! I was trying to find my brother, Carver, 'cuz his teacher said he skipped detention and told me I had to find him 'or else',"

Fenris spoke up, "So your brother was a troublemaker?"

"Yeah, the biggest in my school year. Anyway I couldn't find him so I assumed he went home, I needed the toilet so I went into the ladies room... and-"

"AND?!" shouted the rest of them, Fenris included.

"'Lo' and behold, my brother's tongue was down our Izzy's throat, with her hand fondling with his nether region… the thought sends bile up my throat every time I think of it…"

The present guild members were in an uproar, laughing hysterically whilst Kimi's face flushed red. "It's not funny it's disgusting! Stop laughing!"

"Hawke, I fail to see how this is embarrassing on your side," enquired Aveline, trying to catch her breath.

"Izzy asked if I wanted to _join_ in! And Carver just replied with ' _Incest is wincest Hazel'"_ Kimi whined, making fingers into speech marks and her voice deep to quote her brother. The group burst into laughter again, and finished with Varric pointing out to the light coming from an opening at the end of the tunnel - the same floating candles in the cave.

The group went silent, everyone's eyes glues to their computer screens to watch out for blood mages. "Everyone be careful," whispered Fenris, "These mages are _much_ more powerful than the last."

"The architecture in here is just like in Viscount's keep, except, you know, with ten times the amount of cobwebs and devilish aura coming from it," Aveline murmured

"Hah... do you think this is underneath the real Viscount's Keep?"

"I doubt it, Hawke, they probably just put this here for excitement."

Fenris coughed lightly, "There's going to be a group up ahead, Hazel, want to do your thing?"

"Yes! See ya' in a bit then guys!" Kimi cheered. She activated stealth and sneaked up to the group of blood mages, her blade was inches away from the first when -

" **You! You who dares enter my sanctuary despite failing to stop me before; turn back!"**

' _For fuck's sake…'_ The mage Kimi targeted turned around, blasting her with a force of energy which threw her across the stone room. The rest of the guild came rushing in, she guessed, when a bright blue light flashed in the corner of her screen. Going in by herself when it was 1:5 apparently wasn't a good idea. The fight lasted a long three minutes, due to the conjuring of multiple Shade demons by the blood mages.

"What are we down to?" Demanded Anders.

"From the party inventory, twenty elfroot potions, so four each? For you Blondie there's fifteen lyrium potions," Varric spoke.

Aveline sighed, "And we only just entered…"

"We'll be fine as long as we play intellectually, Varric, you go up ahead with Hazel and take them out; me, Aveline and Anders can hang back unless you are overwhelmed."

"The Dwarf and the Hawk(e)… I could make a book out of this!"

Kimi chuckled, " _You_ could make a book just from looking at two pigeons on a wall."

"Ehh, talent is a gift and a burden…"

Kimi and Varric swept through the hallways, clearing them of enemies whilst looting a wealth of silver coins and potions. Kimi would fly at the mages sinking her daggers into their backs whilst dodging the dwarfs bolts tactfully - a good team would be an understatement. _'Fenris said these were harder mages, he clearly underestimated us-'_

"Woah… guys I think you should come quickly,"

"Have you reached the entrance of the main dungeon?"

"Errm, I guess? There's a massive door and a lever in front of it, it looks pretty cool."

The rest of the party had caught up. Cages hung from the ceiling with skeletons inside, candles floated around them. Below that lead a large set of stairs going down to an aged wooden door.

"Are we all ready?" Asked Aveline, the party nodded and went through it. No mages were waiting on the other side, which disappointed Kimi - her XP bar was increasing quite quickly. Instead lied a set of three levers, in front of what looked like a wall.

"Fenris?"

The elven character walked towards the levers. "It looks like a wall, but it's actually a concrete slab, three of them behind each other. Each lever lifts a different slab, which leads to the pathway to the inner sanctum - I erm, I think I remember the order…" His character pulled the middle one, then the first followed by the last. His face dropped when the last slab didn't move.

"You did the last two the wrong way around, I'm an expert of a sort at strategy games," boasted Anders.

"Quiet, mage. You do it if you have such confidence in your abilities," retorted Fenris. Anders pulled the two levers, and the last slab lifted. Anders smiled coyly at his web camera, Fenris rolled his eyes in response. They made their way to another door, Kimi hovered her cursor over it.

[Right click to enter **Inner Sanctum** ]

She did as it said, and a loading screen appeared. Kimi relaxed in her chair, but froze still when she heard the front door to her house close. Anxiously, she picked up her phone to look at the time, which read 21:44.

 _'Gamlen's back…'_

Languid footsteps made their way up the staircase, she didn't dare move or make a sound. Kimi reached behind her monitor for the subwoofer, pressing the power button to make it seem that there was no one in the room. She tensed in her seat, staring at the light coming from underneath her bedroom door. The figure came closer, their shadow breaking the light's path. Kimi's heart sped up, she realised her web camera was still on - but was too scared to turn it so it wasn't facing her. She just sat still, like a deer in headlights, waiting and praying for the footsteps to disappear. A voice broke her trance, and got the attention of the man on the other side of her door.

"Gamlen! Don't sneak into the house like that, you missed dinner so come back down and eat!"

' _Oh thank you mother… he was about to come in here and do shit to me and I didn't even turn off the web camera!'_

Kimi relaxed into her seat, wiping her hands over her face. Her fingers made their way into her hair, taking a lock of it and stroking it soothingly to calm herself down.

 _'How could I be so careless…'_

Her eyes made their way to the monitor, the dungeon had loaded but her companions were not standing with her. She reached behind it and pressed her power button to the speaker again. Sounds of swords hitting each other erupted, along with the guild's voices. Kimi made her way through the ancient corridor, until she met the party again.

"Hawke! Perfect timing, it seemed like you were busy so we went on without you -"

Anders interrupted Varric," _Don't_ worry though, we weren't going to move past this room until you finished doing… whatever it was, you just kind of zoned out."

"Ohh, yeah, forget about that," she observed the room they were in; it looked like some kind of pit, dead bodies littered the circular room, everyone was surrounded by shades and skeletons, "what's going on here?"

"The shades keep being summoned, and the skeletons keep being resurrected - but we can't spot the mage doing all this," spoke Fenris, "they seem to have fled ahead but there are too many enemies here that none of us can leave."

Kimi hummed, "I guess I'll scout ahead and kill them then." She fought her way through the crowd until she reached the door at back of the room. Activating stealth, she searched the hallway for a mage - who had seemed to spot her before she did them. "I found him! He's running away!"

"Kill him before he goes into the next room, Hazel!"

Kimi sprinted towards the mage, who was firing ice spikes at her. She dodged them fluidly, and threw her dagger at him hoping to get a head shot. It was a risky move, but the blade pierced his neck just as he opened the door.

"Holy moly!" she grinned, "Guys, you should have seen that I fre-"

" **Human! You have invaded my place of sanctuary; you underestimate the power a resurrected necromancer can do, my pet. Now you shall pay with your life!"**

"Errmmm…"

" _Hazel,_ you had one job," Fenris droned. The party quickly slayed the enemies in their room and joined Kimi, who was crouching behind a barrel across from the door - which was a surprisingly effective defence considering that there was a gang of blood mages were hauling spell after spell at her from within the hall.

Kimi squealed upon hearing the necromancer talk again, but she ignored their voice, "I'm sorry; the mage opened the door, I thought it wouldn't activate the battle!"

"Can we _please_ formulate some kind of plan so we don't all perish?!" Aveline pleaded.

"Yes, let me think," said Fenris who closed his eyes to focus, "The necromancer uses electricity, she shoots very powerful streams of it so try to dodge them however possible. She and her lackeys can resurrect the dead so Anders, you will need to freeze them just before I or Aveline attack. Varric and Hazel, as soon as me or Aveline have commenced an attack strike them however possible to finish them off quickly. As soon as their health is at a quarter, Aveline move onto the next blood mage whilst the two rogues finish them off. Anders…"

' _How is he coming up with all of this so quickly? He looks so attractive when he's concentrating, his nose does that cute little crinkle and his right eyebrow twitches and KIMI YOU'RE ZONING OUT-'_

"... when there's about three or so left on low health then we can start working with the main woman, Varric fire bolts at her to distract her, that'll stop her levitating, then me and Aveline can charge in. Anders freeze her to slow her down then Hazel can critically stab her from behind - remember to dodge her electricity and everyone try and distract her so she can't bring back the dead… I'll figure out the rest later, does everyone understand? Good, then let's go. The guild moved in, roughly sticking to plan, which was a reasonably effective one.

There were four mages left standing when Fenris told the party to start attacking the boss, her health was already down a little from Varric and Anders occasionally firing distractions at her. As told, Varric hid behind one of the many columns dotted around the room, shooting multiple rounds at her. On queue she touched the ground to walk towards the dwarf, Fenris and Aveline took the opportunity to strike her with their poisoned weapons. Anders pummeled her with frost spells which brought down her stamina greatly, her health steadily depleting - until she shot into the air, flying through the doors at the back of the room, which lead to her throne room.

"Everyone, activate a stamina potion and follow me!" she commanded. Kimi sprinted towards the throne room and attempted to sink her daggers into the necromancer's chest, but she erected a force field that sent Kimi flying back into Aveline behind her.

"Hawke, you go ahead, I'm right behind you!" demanded the guardswoman. Kimi drank her last elfroot potion and activated decoy. She lifted herself off of the floor and charged into the room again, her decoy successfully distracting the necromancer - the decoy then disappeared and was replaced by Aveline standing behind it, thrusting her shield against her, sending the mage against the hard floor. Kimi tried using assassinate against the mage, she front flipped over Aveline and landed in front of the mage, attempting to stab her - but she rolled away. _'For fucks sake she isn't going down easily…'_

"Hawke, move!" blurted Varric. Without giving it a second thought she jumped out of the way of the necromancer; not a millisecond later three bolts ripped through the air, hitting the foe in her chest. She collapsed to the floor, sticking out her hand to attempt to resurrect the dead mages, but a bright light distracted her. A black sword swooped horizontally, separating her head from her body.

"Why do you _always_ have to take the Maker damned kill?" Kimi whined. The mage's body disappeared, leaving behind a pile of gold.

"Does it matter?" Fenris smiled smugly, "None of us died, so we all get the XP from the kill," which was true, Kimi looked to the corner of her screen to see '10,000XP gained' followed by 'Level up!'.

She could hear Varric and Anders cheering, "Yeah… but you only do it to look cool -"

"Don't I?" Fenris cocked his eyebrow at her, causing her to blush.

"N-No, whatever, let's just loot her body and go…"

"You don't need to tell me twice! Look at this! Fifty sovereigns! And we haven't even handed the quest back to the farmer!" Exclaimed Anders.

"That would be because the farmer doesn't have a large amount of money…" replied Fenris.

Kimi looked at her phone again, seeing the time was 22:12 she decided to go to bed. She promised Fenris she would stay until midnight, but this had been enough excitement to rid Gamlen from her thoughts. "Okay guys, after we hand this in I'm going to sleep, Bethany is gonna come in here to sleep soon as well."

Kimi saw Fenris' brow crease, _'Of course he'd be confused, I'll send him a text.'_

"So am I, I'm knackered," said Aveline.

They all warped back to the farmer's house, alerting him of the eliminated danger. He expressed his thanks, and offered them a powerful amulet he found outside of the cave as reward. _'Coincidentally…'_

Kimi bidded the guild farewell and was about to log out, when she heard Varric clearing his throat loudly, trying to alert her to something.

"Oh, oh! Errm, I was thinking… do you guys wanna like, meetup sometime?"

The video call went silent, until, "Wait, you're serious?" asked Anders.

"Yeah, Satinalia is coming up soon, we can spend the weekend together!"

"I don't see why not, does anyone have alternative plans? Aveline?" probed Varric.

"I… don't _think_ I have anything planned… what do you have in mind, Hawke?"

Kimi hummed, "I thought we could just all hang out on the Saturday, go shopping or something, then Sunday we can go up to Sundermount - they are having a massive celebration there, there's gonna be stalls, ice skating, skiing, some other stuff…"

"I wouldn't mind coming." Fenris said, giving his half smile.

"Y-you mean it? Hah, okay, so Varric and Fenris are interested. What about you two?"

Anders shrugged his shoulders, "Well, if we're going to be heading up to Sundermount, then we'll need _someone_ trained in first aid, just in case of emergencies… I'll come!"

"And I'll have to check the rota for Satinalia weekend, but if I'm free I'll go," said Aveline, "If I'm not then I'll just have to persuade my boss…"

Kimi laughed in response, _'It's actually happening!'_

"Won't we need somewhere to stay? In Sundermount…"

"We can camp! I found a tent from when my family would go camping every now and then…"

Anders interrupted, "There's a number of abandoned shacks up there close to where the festival is being held, I've had to help rescue a lot of teens who go up there to do… illegal activities, they're in pretty good shape but we'll need several camping stoves to warm up the place…"

"That sounds great!"

Fenris spoke up, his voice hesitant, "You... could all stay over on the Saturday, at my house. It's reasonably sized so we wouldn't be crammed into the same room…"

"Broody! The dark and husky mystery of a man, is offering _us_ to stay in his home?"

"I am feeling generous, also what would be the point in meeting on the Saturday to then all go home, then meet again on the Sunday? It would be simpler is all I am saying…"

"That would be perfect! Varric, can you ask Merrill and Izzy? I have a feeling I'm not going to wake up until the afternoon tomorrow…"

Varric laughed, "Sure thing, Hawkey. I'll message them now, are you leaving now?"

"Yeah, I'm so tired… I'll see you all tomorrow?" They all nodded and she said goodbye, logging out of the game and the video call. The look on Fenris' face when she said she was going to sleep made her feel upset; she had told him to look after her until midnight, he looked confused, but anxious. _'He probably thinks I'm going to do harm myself...'_ She grabbed her phone and sent him a private message.

 **Kimi [kimi_chan], 22:14PM**

\- Hey :-)

\- Sorry I logged out early :/

\- I'm okay so don't worry, I just got sleepy

 **Fenris, [broody_elf], 22:15PM**

 **-** How am I supposed to keep watch of you, now?

\- I'm joking, I understand, I suspect you have had a long day.

 **Kimi [kimi_chan], 22:14PM**

\- Yeah xD

\- This day has kinda dragged on…

 **Fenris, [broody_elf], 22:17PM**

\- Promise me something.

Kimi's stomach sank.

 **Kimi [kimi_chan], 22:17PM**

\- Sure? x

 **Fenris, [broody_elf], 22:18PM**

\- If he, your uncle, does anything, call me straight away.

\- I mean it, I am going to keep my phone on the highest volume.

\- Even if the sun hasn't yet risen I'll wake up and answer the call.

 **Kimi [kimi_chan], 22:18PM**

\- Fenris…

\- I promise

\- Are you saying I can't call for other reasons?

 **Fenris, [broody_elf], 22:18PM**

\- Good. I won't be able to drive to your house and rescue you, but I'll be here for you nevertheless.

\- Oh? And what might those reasons be? ;-)

 **Kimi [kimi_chan], 22:19PM**

\- …

\- I don't know I didn't think that far forwards…

' _Shit, and you were so smooth…'_

 **Fenris, [broody_elf], 22:19PM**

\- Hahah

\- I might have a few ideas… x

\- Go to sleep, Hazel, you need it.

 **Kimi [kimi_chan], 22:19PM**

\- Hey

\- You promise me something too :-)

 **Fenris, [broody_elf], 22:20PM**

\- Go on?

 **Kimi [kimi_chan], 22:20PM**

\- Promise me

\- That you'll call me if you ever want to talk

\- And that you'll take care of yourself

\- And

\- That if Danarius comes to get you, you'll call Aveline straight away

 **Fenris, [broody_elf], 22:22PM**

\- That is a lot of promises.

\- The first two I can easily keep.

\- The third? I don't want to put anyone in danger…

 **Kimi [kimi_chan], 22:22PM**

\- Fenris

\- Please promise me

\- Aveline is the best officer I know, she won't let that bastard take you

\- Neither will I

\- Fenris… I won't lose you

 **Fenris, [broody_elf], 22:23PM**

\- I do not know what to say.

\- No one has ever said that to me before.

\- You… are special to me, Hazel.

\- I promise.

' _You… are special to me…'_ Kimi hugged her phone close to her chest, she closed her eyes, imagining him say those words in person.

 **Kimi [kimi_chan], 22:23PM**

\- You are special to me too :-)

\- Goodnight Fen x

 **Fenris, [broody_elf], 22:25PM**

\- Sleep well x

Kimi got dressed into her pyjamas, climbed into her bed and let her thoughts consume her until she fell asleep - positive thoughts.

' _Satinalia, I'll confess to him then, even if he doesn't have the same feelings for me.'_

* * *

 _Her lips were soft and coated in saliva and alcohol, her hand caressed her back while Kimi massaged her breast._

" _Hawkey… why didn't you take me up on my offer ages ago? If I knew you were this good…" Isabella purred into Kimi's ear. She opened her half lidded eyes, they were in Varric's flat above the Hanged Man; how she knew what it looked like she didn't know, but it didn't bother her at the moment. No one else was present in the room apart from Anders sleeping in a bed across from them, and Fenris in deep slumber at the foot of the bed. Bottles of alcohol littered the floor, a brown hand pulled her face back to the seductress._

" _Don't look at them, look at me…" Isabella pressed her lips into Kimi's again, and she responded by moving hers in sync with the brunettes. The kiss was slow, languid. A moan escaped Kimi's mouth as Isabella pushed her hand under her bra, fingers pinching her nipple._

" _That's right, purr for me, kitten,"_

" _B-buthguys- ahh," The brown minx moved her kisses south, her lips capturing the nipple she was massaging._

" _If they wake up, we'll invite them to join… now hush and touch me too." Isabella removed both their tops, she was wearing a lace bralette underneath, herself wearing a pink balcony bra - that was hastily being removed by the other woman._

" _I want to see you kitten, do you want to see me too?"_

 _Kimi pushed her mouth against hers in response, she was heavily, heavily aroused. Kimi pushed the woman against a table, pushing her back onto it._

" _My my, Hawkey is a naughty one at heart…"_

 _Kimi leaned over her, smashing their mouths together again, their breasts rubbing against each other. Moans erupted from both of the women, both trying to touch more of the other. A warm hand cupped Kimi's plump breast, Isabella pulled away, a smirk forming on her mouth._

" _Look who wants a piece of the Hawke…take her, I'll watch," spoke the sun kissed woman._

" _Wha-mmmhh…" Kimi felt teeth sink into the nape of her neck as two hands massaged her breasts. She looked to the corner of her eye to see who was tasting her flesh, and saw a white lock of hair._

" _Fenn-"_

 _Fenris brought a finger to her lips, easing its way into her mouth,"Shh, do you know how long I have waited to see you like this?" breathed his deep, husky voice. His finger tasted like sweet wine, her tongue danced around it, "Tonight you will be mine."_

 _Kimi was spun around, and pushed onto the wooden floor. Fenris kneeled over her, his eyes absorbing her body. Just the sight of his eyes glazed over with lust could bring her over the edge, his face looked closer until his lips touched hers. This kiss wasn't like Isabella's, it was hot, needy and passionate. Their moist tongues rubbed together, Kimi felt his warm hands move from her breasts, down underneath her knickers until they reached her pulsating bud._

" _Mmm Fen!"_

" _You're so wet already, Hawke, keep singing for me," his voice spoke, thick with arousal. Kimi moaned his name more as he rubbed her clitoris, her left hand fisted his hair pulling his head closer to deepen the kiss whilst her right hand made its way into his pants, gripping his fully formed member. A loud growl escaped his mouth in response. Fenris' lips pulled away from hers, he left a trail of kissed down her throat, over her breasts - suckling her nipples until they were sore, and down her abdomen until he stopped before her clitoris._

" _I am going to make you feel so good that you won't be able to stand." His wet tongue flicked at her bud, sucking it lightly. She arched her back forcefully in response._

" _Ahh, Fen… so good," Kimi moaned._

 _Fenris' tongue abandoned her clitoris, dragging itself to her pink folds and sinking into her, coming back out to lick her labia even more until she was dripping._

" _Hazel, do you wish to know how delightful you taste?"_

 _Kimi hummed in agreement, and Fenris licked her pink folds once more before moving towards her face. He captured her lips again, this time his tongue asking entry to her mouth. Kimi parted her lips, letting her tongue slide along his, savouring the taste of her juice._

" _Is it nice?"_

 _Kimi sighed as his fingers played with her entrance, "Mmhm, when can I taste you?"_

 _Fenris let out a throaty chuckle and pushed his fingers a little deeper, "Soon, my Hazel… I have yet to make you come."_

" _But I want you now, I'm read-ahh!" Fenris' fingers moved to her throbbing bud again, rubbing quicker than previously._

" _I want you to beg fo-"_

" _PLEASE! I need you Fennnnris... I want you inside me so badly, take me!"_

" _ **That's my girl, why didn't you say so, Hazel..."**_

 _Her heart stopped, that wasn't Fenris' voice._

* * *

Kimi's eyes snapped open to see a disheveled Gamlen towering over her, his trousers removed. She she tried to scream but his hand smothered her mouth.

"I don't know who this 'Fen' is, but he makes you twice as wet as I do. You should think of him more often when I take you." Gamlen remarked.

Kimi was horrified, if she hadn't woke up he would have surely taken her virginity. She bored her eyes into his, which were glazed over by intoxication, and tried to wriggle free from his weight on top of her, but he wouldn't budge. Desperate to be free she bit down hard onto his hand, drawing blood.

"You bitch! You'll pay for that!" He shouted, grabbing her by her hair and forcing her head onto his exposed cock. Kimi gagged hard, vomit threatening to spill out of her.

"That's right you slut, choke on me," Gamlen spat.

Tears overflowed her eyes. Of course it was a dream, of course she wasn't in Varric's flat - she hadn't even been there before. She tried anything to distract herself from the hairy member in her mouth, but Gamlen would pinch her skin or tug on her hair to bring her back to the present.

Semen eventually spilled into her mouth; she had no choice but to swallow it down. Gamlen petted her head and pulled his trousers back up, leaving the bedroom afterwards. Kimi threw her bed covers over herself, and curled into a ball.

" _Promise me… if he does anything, call me… even if the sun hasn't yet risen…"_

She took the duvet from her head and looked to her computer desk, her eyes resting on her phone. She clenched her hands, _'I can't, I'm sorry Fenris…'_

Kimi stood up and pulled her knickers back on, and put her night top back on. How she didn't wake up when Gamlen undressed her she didn't know. She looked to Bethany's bed to see no one sleeping there.

' _Of course he wouldn't do this when she is here, she probably fell asleep downstairs again,'_ she thought.

Kimi walked to her bedroom door and opened it slightly, upon Gamlen's bedroom door was shut she quickly tiptoed into the bathroom and locked the door behind her. She washed her mouth out with mint flavoured mouthwash and brushed her teeth.

' _I hate him, Maker I hate him so much!'_ she screamed internally.

Hatred consumed her as more tears flooded her eyes, she was seeing red and _had_ to rid the feeling from her body soon. In a matter of seconds she spun around to face the bath opposite her, and shot her fist at the tile wall. The material shattered, hitting the bottom of the bath - thin streams of blood staining the white tiles. The pain didn't register immediately, so she threw her clenched fist again, forcing more tiles to break into the bath. Then, the pain came.

"Fuck…!" She whispered loudly. Her left hand was half covered in red liquid from a deep cut over her knuckle, the parts that weren't showed a purple hue under the skin. She instantly regretted losing her temper.

 _'What do I do now?! ...I know! Gamlen has some left over whisky in the drug cabinet, that'll stop any infectious stuff getting in… and there's some bandages too.'_

Kimi poured the alcohol over her hand, cringing at the sting, then wrapped her knuckles with the dressing. Satisfied with her work she left the bathroom and went back to her room. She saw her phone flash, indicating a text message, so Kimi walked over to it - almost dropping it when she used her now damaged left hand to do so. Varric had sent her a text four hours prior.

 **Varric [bianca's_man], 23:11PM**

\- Hawke!

\- Izzy said she's coming! :D

\- I'm actually pretty excited

\- I texted Merrill but she hasn't replied yet

Kimi scoffed.

 **Kimi [kimi_chan], 03:22AM**

\- 'Actually'?

\- Sir Varric you underestimate me and my abilities

She sat in her desk chair and played a game of _Tetris_ , waiting for a reply.

 _'Wait, its three am… he isn't going to reply!'_

Kimi face palmed herself and made her way to her bed - but froze before she got into it. Memories of not only a couple of minutes ago, but all of the times that Gamlen had invaded her bed, hit her like a train. She clutched her head in effort to stop the flashbacks. _'No… I don't want to sleep there anymore,'_ she thought frantically as she jumped into Bethany's bed, getting into the covers and resting her head on the pillow. Her sister's was much more welcoming than her own, and smelt like her. She snuggled the pillow, burying her face into it, soon falling asleep.

* * *

 **I'm sorry if this ending feels empty, I didn't know how to end this chapter, I low-key just want to skip to all the good chapters I've planned but then I'll feel like I've rushed it…**

 **But thanks for reading! Reviews welcome :'3**


	8. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6! I'm so sorry for being late with the new chapter… I've been so ill that I can't stand without getting lightheaded thus I haven't been able to write :( But I'm better now! Also thanks to SoranoMitsuki for reviewing :3**

 **I meant to say this earlier, but for those who get confused:**

 **Hazel = the MC's real name, her forename.**

 **Kimi = the MC's nickname, I always refer to her as 'Kimi' because the story is 95% of the time from her POV; she** _ **prefers**_ **to be called 'Kimi', so it would only make sense to call refer to her as 'Kimi' in the narrative.**

 **Hawke = the MC's last name, in DA2 Hawke's companions prefer to call the MC 'Hawke', I kept it like that in this fanfic too.**

 **P.S. The POV changes about ⅓ of the way through...**

* * *

" _...school good?"_

" _Yeah, it's alright but all my friends literally love getting into drama… I don't like getting into all of that, it's so pointless, everyone is so fake here…"_

" _I understand, you're all teenagers, these are meant to be the easiest years of your life, why adolescent girls want to make it all complicated I'll never know…"_

" _I don't even think they're my real friends, I think they just like me hanging around with them is 'cuz they feel bad that my dad died…"_

" _Hey, you have one real friend, me! Forget about them, no one is saying you have to be friends with them. If they aren't making an effort to be nice to you then you don't owe them anything."_

" _Why can't I have people like you in my school, Anders, I'd hang out with you all day…"_

" _Hahah! I'm sure you would Beth, maybe… maybe we will, one day."_

" _If we ever met up in real life I'd jump into your arms! You better catch me! If we ever met up it would be the happiest day of my life, I'd show you off to all my friends, we'd go on cheesy dates..."_

" _Beth… I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that, you know we can't-"_

" _No! I promise I'll wait for you! I'm sixteen next year Anders, I'll wait I promise! This isn't fair… you're the only guy I've ever liked and I can't be with you..."_

" _Beth, I should hang up now, it was good talking to you again, text me if you need help with biology again…"_

" _Andy wai - ughhh! He hung up… I promise I love you… why won't you believe me."_

Kimi woke up to hearing the strangest whispers, but when she opened her eyes she only found her sister sat at her desk, her head was resting atop it - and Kimi could have sworn that there were trails of tears shining on Bethany's cheeks.

"Sis… what's the time?" Kimi avoided the subject, she wasn't good at comforting people, and when Bethany was upset her behaviour was very unpredictable - Kimi learned it was usually best to leave her sister alone when she was emotional.

"Oh! Hazel… you're awake…" Bethany shot up and wiped her cheeks. _'Yep definitely crying…'_

"Of course! Who else are you talking to right now, mother?"

Bethany laughed softly, "No, a grouchy older sister with and insane bed head right now-... Hazel! What happened to your hand?!"

Kimi was puzzled, she looked down to see the bandages on her hand slightly loose, exposing the purple flesh beneath, and with dried blood stuck to the dressing. "Oh, erm … I had an accident at work, I slipped over when I mopped the floor and bruised my hand…"

"That's a bit more than bruised…! You should let mother have a look at that right now! It could be all infected and horrible..."

"I swear I fell over, I was holding a glass too, which explains the cuts. Jeez, why are kids nowadays so untrusting."

"Hmm, I'll get you to tell me the truth sooner or later. Get mother to look at it right now before it falls off your arm altogether," replied Bethany doubtfully.

"You didn't answer me before, what's the time?"

Bethany checked her phone, "It's just gone half past one, you slept like a log! Half of your day has just disappeared!"

"Hey, at least I was happy in the land of dreams… speaking of dreams, I had the strangest dream that you and Anders were video calling…"

"...Oh, really?"

Kimi nodded, looking for any suspicious reaction from the younger sister, "Yeah, it was so _weird_ , you were all lovey dovey talking about meeting up, it was so corny, I would have puked if I didn't wake up… I felt bad for Anders… if anyone ever found out he could go to jail…"

Kimi could tell that her sister was trying to fight her emotions, her face failed miserably to mask her guilt. "Errm, well it's a good job that it was just a silly dream, right?" Bethany's hand stroked her neck as she avoided eye contact.

"Yep, well I'm going to have mother look at this… 'before it falls off my arm' haha," Kimi messed with the frayed strings on the bandage, flinching when it pulled at dry blood on her skin.

"Oh! Mother said she wanted you to go to the corner shop and get some food."

Kimi walked towards her bedroom door, "You're old enough to go yourself! Why can't you go?" she whined.

" _Because_ Mother asked _you_ to!" Her sister retorted. Despite Kimi being eighteen, she would still bicker with her sister over petty things as if they were still children - when the only force that could stop them was their father. She loved Bethany, even more so after the loss of their brother, but she could get on her nerves to the point where they would be close to ripping out each other's hair.

"Ugh! You're old enough to go by yourself! You need the exercise, at least _I_ go to the gym!"

" _At least I go to the gym!"_ Bethany mocked.

"That's it! MOTHER!" Kimi screamed as she ran out of her room towards the said woman, with Bethany sprinting after her. "Why does she have to go!? The shop is a fifteen minute walk from here!"

Kimi heard Leandra mutter something along the lines of 'Oh Maker', before turning her attention to her two daughters. "Hazel have you forgotten where we live? Bethany could get kidnapped by drug dealers or pedophiles, at least you can defend yourself-"

' _Favouritism much?"_ Kimi thought.

"And Hazel, you didn't go to your gym on Friday as usual, you could use the fresh air, now go," Leandra ordered. _'Oh shit, I forgot to go to the gym! But that means… Anders must have been waiting for me outside when I wasn't even there!'_

"Okay, okay, I was only saying I didn't want to buy your food because I need you to look at this…" Kimi stepped to her mother, unravelling* the bandage to reveal her mess of a hand.

" _Hazel!_ Why didn't you show me this earlier? Come to the kitchen I'll clean this up for you dear,"

"Oh yay, _now_ you call me dear," Kimi said sarcastically. Leandra ran her hands under the kitchen tap first, then put Kimi's left one under the water as well. Kimi tried to suppress the pain from her cuts but it stung nevertheless. Leandra looked through a cupboard and brought out the first aid kit, then instructed Kimi to sit at the dinner table so she could apply the fresh bandage.

"How did you even do this to yourself?"

"Like I told Beth, I was cleaning the cafè and slipped, I had a glass cup in my hand at the time so when I put out my hands to break the fall it shattered."

"Well, I can't say that it doesn't sound like something you would do… you know what this reminds me of?" Leandra asked.

Kimi shook her head, "When I had to bandage up your father's hand after he punched Gamlen square in the jaw, I don't think I have ever seen him so happy with himself."

Kimi puffed through her nose humorously, "I remember you telling me, when we first came here from Ferelden… ouch!"

"Sorry dear… he was so tired from travelling that he couldn't put up with him anymore, he just ran out of patience," Leandra explained.

"Mother… why haven't the investigators found who drove into him? It's been long enough, surely they would have found _something_ ,"

Leandra finished tying the bandage, "Well, they found that when the person's car hit your father's, the number plate of their was in view of a couple CCTV cameras, but they dropped the case shortly after,"

"But… there must be something, they can't just… disappear, why didn't they find who the car belonged to?!"

"I know, my darling, I wish that I knew too… but hopefully the Maker will judge the killer without mercy, even if he hasn't received the proper judgement in this world," Leandra said firmly, Kimi noticed her hands were shaking despite not tying the bandage anymore.

"He will, I know it," Kimi spoke, "what do you need me to get from the shop?"

That seemed to break her mother out of the trance she was in, "Ah, just some eggs, bread and milk, I'll get the chang-"

"Leave it, I have some change in my purse, I'll get ready and leave soon," Kimi insisted. Her mother sighed but left the topic. Kimi ran upstairs and put on a bra and red wooly jumper with black skinny jeans with the cuffs rolled up. She grabbed her wallet and phone then ran downstairs to put on her sneakers.

"Get something for dinner too, whatever you like, if you buy me a lottery ticket!" Leandra shouted from the dining room.

"Okay! I'll be back in, like, half an hour I don't know…" she trailed off as she went out the house. Normally she would have been warm enough wearing a single jumper, but Winter was fast approaching Kimi found out; her ears and fingers started to sting from the cold.

' _Why is Mother buying lottery tickets every day, I told her I'll soon have enough money to petition to have the estate back, she could even take out a loan,'_

She pulled out her phone from her pocket and checked the group chat to distract herself.

* * *

"So, is this enough?"

"Yes… yes, this is more than enough to keep this quiet, but I have to ask, I get guilty people coming in here at least once a week to cover up their messes… why is this so important to you?"

"Why should I tell you? The less people who know my story the better, I'm a nobody - I'd like to keep it that way."

"Yes, but we're dealmakers now, you've given me a substantial amount of coin… it would help when re-writing the facts of the case..."

"F-fine. Because… I've failed my family, my friends, one too many times - but this? This will get me disowned for life... I'll lose all the respect I have left, which isn't a lot!"

"So I've heard…"

"I can't let this mistake free, no… this has to be kept secret. I'd rather be known as the asswipe who couldn't rub two coppers together, than a murderer."

"Interesting, a desperate man with nothing left apart from what could only be described as a hovel that houses his darkest secrets…"

"Hey! I'm not the bad guy, you know! He should have stopped when he pulled out of the road, he should have seen me!"

"But _who_ was drink driving? Who was the man who was too intoxicated to push the breaks, who decided to vent his anger by speeding around Lowtown at night? You can convince yourself that it wasn't your fault, old man, but the whole reason you are paying me off the investigation is because you know you're guilty. An innocent man would do whatever it took to prove it wasn't him - you just want this to all go away."

"...Only the Maker can judge me, not some police investigator who has killed more people in the line of duty than myself! Just… just take the money and leave me alone! I just… I want this in the past, if Leandra finds out… if my nieces find out… I won't be able to live with myself - I… I need a drink."

"That's right, go drown your sorrows… I'll make sure this all goes away, don't you worry, it's what we're here for, to 'solve' crimes, it's much easier when the criminal pays us off - and much less paperwork..."

"You're sick, you know that?"

"Oh, Gamlen… only as much as people like you… now leave, our time is up and our business is finished."

"R-right."

"And Gamlen? Next time, don't drink and drive, you could have killed your youngest niece."

* * *

 **Varric [biancas_man], 10:41PM**

\- HAWKE

\- HAWKE

\- MERRILL SAID SHE CAN COME

Kimi nearly began to skip down the street after reading the private message.

 **Kimi [kimi_chan], 2:03PM**

\- WHAAAAT

\- no way :O

\- That means we can all go!

\- Agh I'm so happy :'3

She read the group chat messages, and it appeared that Varric, Fenris and Isabella were playing the game. _'Let's cause some trouble…'_

 **Kimi [kimi_chan], 2:03PM**

\- PING  
\- PING

\- PING

\- Am I distracting anyone yet? :D

\- Gosh I hope not...

\- PING

\- Woops sorry

 **Fenris [broody_elf], 2:04PM**

\- You evil minx.

 **Kimi [kimi_chan], 2:05PM**

\- huehuehuehuehue

\- What an interesting choice of words

\- I'm a minx, am I?

 **Isabella [xbella_69x], 2:05PM**

\- hwk

\- stp

\- pls

\- fihgting

 **Fenris [broody_elf], 2:06PM**

\- …

 **Kimi [kimi_chan], 2:06PM**

\- ...ithinkimblushing...

\- Lmaoooooo izzy

\- Fighting*

\- Is Varric literally the only one here smart enough to not answer his phone?

 **Isabella [xbella_69x], 2:07PM**

\- hwk

\- i swear to the mkr

\- how bwt u come onln? (how about you come online?)

 **Kimi [kimi_chan], 2:07PM**

\- Sorry I can't

\- I'm going shopping for Mother

\- She said I can choose whatever I want for dinner! :D

\- Hmmmm I really want pizza…

 **Fenris [broody_elf], 2:07PM**

\- May I suggest something healthy?

\- A low-fat chilli with minced meat, for example.

 **Kimi [kimi_chan], 2:08PM**

\- How are you typing so quickly with no mistakes whilst playing?

\- I was craving something with fish, like a prawn curry.

 **Fenris [broody_elf], 2:08PM**

\- I speak into my phone and it processes the words, converting them to text.

\- Excuse me? No. Absolutely not. I shall lose all respect for you if you proceed to buy seafood.

' _Overreacting a little, Fenris? What's his problem?'_

 **Isabella [xbella_69x], 2:09PM**

\- lmao

\- fen hate fish

\- -1 life to hwk u got on brdy bad side (-1 life to hawke, you've got on broody's bad side)

 **Kimi [kimi_chan], 2:09PM**

\- I'm sorry :'(

\- I like prawns, but I haven't had a chilli in a while…

\- Chilli it is, then!

 **Fenris [broody_elf], 2:10PM**

\- I greatly approve of your choice.

\- I make a very appetizing chilli, in fact.

 **Kimi [kimi_chan], 2:10PM**

\- You should make some when we meet at your house! :D

 **Fenris [broody_elf], 2:10PM**

\- Hmm, that isn't a bad idea. I could make it with some garlic bread so that it would be more filling.

 **Kimi [kimi_chan], 2:10PM**

\- If you do that

\- I

\- Will

\- Marry

\- You

 **Fenris [broody_elf], 2:10PM**

\- Nubere? Me?! (to marry? me?!)

 **Isabella [xbella_69x], 2:11PM**

\- xD

\- fen clm dwn (fenris calm down)

\- hwk luv grlc brd (hawke loves garlic bread)

\- lik… rly luv (like... really love)

\- +1 to fen

 **Kimi [kimi_chan], 2:11PM**

\- I mean I'm not saying I wouldn't marry you

\- You're totally husband material!

\- Obviously I wouldn't marry you if you didn't ask me to…

\- I… erm…

\- It would be cool if you made garlic bread…

 **Isabella [xbella_69x], 2:12PM**

\- ngl (not gonna lie)

\- i thnk u kld fen (i think you killed fenris)

\- he gne (he's gone)

\- he bk he fel of his chr lmaoo (he's back, he fell off of his chair lmao)

 **Kimi [kimi_chan], 2:12PM**

\- I'm sorry…

\- I'm outside the shop

\- Brb

Kimi was in fact five minutes away from the shop, she jogged for the rest of the way to rid herself of her embarrassment. _'Kimi you idiot! He's going to think you're a lunatic! Why did you say that?'_

She entered the shop and brought what her mother told her to get, along with the ingredients for a chilli. She also jogged all the way back home so that she wouldn't think to check her phone to see Fenris' reply. Kimi entered her home with a sheen of sweat covering her forehead; she walked into the kitchen, panting, and unbagged the food onto the counter. Her face dropped when an orange liquid spilled out of the egg packet.

"Ohh shi-"

"Hazel! You came back so quickly, what did you get for dinner, dear?"

Kimi quickly picked up the egg box and put it into the refrigerator, "Ah, erm, umm, chilli," she stammered with her back against the fridge.

"Ooooh we haven't had that for a while!" Leandra exclaimed.

"Yeah, a friend suggested it, I'll just put the rest away and make myself breakfast - considering I haven't eaten any..."

"Alright then, I am in need of a bath so I will be upstairs if you need me," said Leandra as she headed towards the bathroom. Kimi hurriedly put the food away and ran into her bedroom, then switched on her computer. She was about to sit down when she remembered her phone was in her back pocket.

' _Oh my gosh, I was seconds away from breaking my phone, again!'_

Kimi sat down at her desk, holding her phone, and mustered up the courage to check the group chat. Fenris didn't reply to her at all, instead joining in another conversation with Varric when their battle finished, but no one had messaged anything recently. Kimi opened up _Skype_ and saw that most members were online, typical for a Sunday, and requested to join the call.

"Well if it isn't the snitch herself…" Isabella sneered.

Kimi nearly choked on oxygen, "E-excuse me?"

"You, you told everyone about me and… Carver… you should have asked me first!" The pain on Isabella's face was apparent. Kimi knew that her friend had never properly gotten over the death of Carver; she thought that this was the reason why she was such a big flirt, to forget about him and their relationship.

"Oh, I'm sorry Izzy I-"

"You should ask people before you open up other people's wounds!"

Kimi didn't know what to say, she _should_ probably asked Isabella beforehand, but Carver was her brother, it was inevitable that she was going to say something embarrassing about his extensive love life.

"I'm sorry for bringing you and him up, but he's _my_ brother - was - my brother. I have a right to talk about anything I want with him."

Isabella sighed, wiping her hands over her face, "I know, I know I'm sorry I shouldn't have exploded at you…"

"Would it make you feel better if I told you that I had an… explicit… sexual dream about you?"

"Woah, Hawke, I was _not_ prepared for that just after Izzy here practically ripped your face off," blurted Varric. Kimi had forgotten that Varric, Anders, Fenris and Merrill were in the video call as well; they all turned silent after the girls' argument.

"I'm not going to tell anyone anything, plus Merrill is too innocent…"

"Why does everyone assume that I'm innocent? I'll have you know that I've slept with both men and wo-"

"OKAY Daisy, I'd prefer it if Isabella knew you _weren't_ bisexual for your own safety,"

"Well, now she knows, Dwarf…"

Anders agreed with Fenris, "Yep, well done keeping that secret…"

Isabella gasped in excitement, "No fucking way, Merrill?! Why didn't you tell me! We could have been having fun since, forever ago!"

"Well, I have to keep it secret from my students… I can't afford to have a scandal considering the competition I went against to get this job," explained Merrill.

"Yeah, you should have seen the amount of people waiting for the interview!"

"Anders, you went with Merrill? To her job interview?" asked Kimi.

He nodded, "She needed a lift, I gave her one… what about you, Hawke? How was your job interview?"

"Hah! I nearly wet myself, I was so unprepared…" she laughed.

"I can imagine so," said Fenris, "mine wasn't so gruelling, they asked a couple of questions, I got hired on the spot," he took a swig from his cup.

"Are you drinking that coffee again?" enquired Merrill.

He shook his head, "No, wine."

"In the afternoon?!"

"Yes."

"In a mug?"

"It makes it child appropriate, censorship," he said flatly.

Varric cackled, "No one here is a child, broody, and the chance that Bethy would walk in is reasonably slim…"

Fenris pointed to his computer screen, to her, it was like he was pointing straight at herself, his face was emotionless until he spoke,"virgin," he smirked, before taking another swig.

"Oh, yeah! Hawke is the baby of the group!" boasted Isabella.

"N-no! I've done… things…"

"Such as?" Varric teased.

Kimi hummed to herself, "I've held hands with a guy,"

"Doesn't count, kissing at least or you're a baby,"

"Does watching porn count?"

Isabella shrugged, "It depends what kind, straight, or lesbo?" ]

"Straight…"

"Any BDSM?"

"Some…"

"Anal?"

"S-sometimes," Kimi blushed, "If that doesn't count… I've had-"

 _'oral sex, an older guy - rape, multiple times, I never orgasmed, though…'_

"-dirty thoughts, and that dream about Isabella! It turned into a threesome!"

"Oh shit! With who, Hawke? Spill the beans!" Varric seemed to be enjoying the conversation more than everyone else, _'Probably ideas for another story…'_

Kimi blushed as she looked to Fenris on her screen, his eyebrow quirked as she said the previous confession. "Well, they're here right now… that's all I'm telling."

' _There's no way in Hell that I'd admit that I've had sex with Fenris in my dreams, or fantasised about him whilst Gamlen relieves himself via me…'_

"I bet it's Varric, I wouldn't be surprised, I mean even _I_ have thought about how far down his chest hair goes…" Isabella mused.

"It doesn't," replied Varric flirtatiously, "what about you, Blondie? How big is your bush?"

Anders' eyes nearly popped out of his skull, "I hardly think that's an appropriate question! But FYI I keep _things_ trimmed… it's unhygienic not to, you can get all sorts of things, crabs…"

Kimi felt embarrassed listening to the conversation, but both Isabella and Merrill were just as engrossed.

"Alright! We get the picture, clean freak, and you, broody?"

"I have no pubic hair," he replied flatly. Anders and the dwarf both gasped in response, "it is true, I have hardly any arm, leg, or pubic hair, and certainly no beard."

"Prove it or you're lying," demanded Isabella.

Fenris smirked, grabbed his mug and took a big swig, before standing up, _'oh Maker...!'_ , and lifting his t-shirt up to his chest, displaying his muscular torso. Sure enough, there was no hair to be seen.

"Arm pits," Anders said in doubt. Fenris, having just sat back down, rolled his eyes at Anders. He stood up again, in full view of his camera, and removed his shirt completely. He moved forwards, showing his armpit (no hair), and moved his jeans further down so they rested at his hip bones, showing no line of hair leading to his nether region.

"Well fuck me, broody has no body hair," exclaimed Varric.

Fenris chuckled lowly, "I have to pass on that offer, dwarf."

"Yep, but at least we got a nice view, right Hawke?" Isabella said seductively.

"I… um… I don't know what to say, yyyes?" Kimi couldn't take her eyes off of the tanned male. Her gaze caught every flexed muscle, every movement of his body - even the half-smile he expressed wantonly when he noticed Kimi blatantly staring at him.

' _YES? YES? HE HAS THE BODY OF A GOD AND YOU SAID YES?!'_

Then it hit her, why wasn't he shy at all? Yes, he could be overly confident, yes, he may just want to show off to Anders his toned body to mock the blonde, but with women present? She realised all too soon - he was used to being displayed to strangers. _Danarius_ would have surely done this all the time to his pompous guests; Fenris was a sex toy to his ex-stepfather, he would have had to suppress feelings of embarrassment, shame, etc. to keep his sanity. Kimi felt her blush disappear after the realisation, she felt horrible for admitting that she found him attractive.

Anders scoffed, "I should have known there was an ulterior motive, it _was_ Isabella who said 'prove it'..."

"And we all benefited from it, don't lie, Anders - a small part of you just turned bisexual," Isabella mused.

"Are we going to play the game, or are we just going to fawn over Fenris like he is a statue instead of a person?" Kimi wanted to sound serious, but disguised it with dry humour. She could see that Fenris looked somewhat relieved when he put his shirt back on.

"Actually, we were going to play, then Varric kind of asked Izzy about your brother," said Merrill shyly.

"About what, exactly?" Kimi enquired.

Varric cleared his throat, "It's not really an important quest-"

"-You asked me how big his dick was! You nosey motherfucker,"

"Oh Maker, it's like half of this guild are _actually_ children… Merrill since you're here, I wanted to thank you for suggesting I dye my hair like this; the ombre looks amazing!"

"Wow! It does! You are welcome, Hawke," Merrill cheered.

"Damn Hawke, you always have you light off and the curtains closed like an emo teenager - I didn't even notice!" Varric expressed.

Kimi scoffed, "I'm _not_ an emo teenager, I can't see the screen properly with the sun shining on it so I play Dragon Age Online in the dark… and thanks for noticing now, at least…" she faked being offended.

"Hey! No one else noticed, right guys?"

"I did, I just didn't want to say anything because no one else did!" admitted Anders, Fenris nodded in agreement.

"Don't worry Varric, I didn't see a difference, Hawke always looks smokin' so I didn't see anything different," flirted Isabella.

"That… is probably the first time I have ever been called 'smokin', please never call me that ever again - how do I even react to that?!"

Isabella burst into laughter after hearing Kimi's response, "Well most guys go to bed with me, I only live 'round the corner Hawkey - we can make that dream come true!"

* * *

The afternoon carried on peacefully, after Kimi insisted to the flirt that she was straight. The group talked about an abundance of subjects, including Isabella telling how many people she has actually slept with, and Anders talking about his most gory operation - making Merrill have to leave the video call to be sick. Whilst talking with them, Bethany came into their bedroom and joined the conversation too; Kimi saw how Anders' eyes lit up as he saw her, how he kept casually flirting with her and how her sister did so in return. Deep down she knew that what she heard was not a dream, she just didn't want to accept that her sister would do something so foolish. Kimi checked the time after Anders suddenly got called into his hospital, _'Seven o'clock already?'_

"Guys, as much as I would _love_ to join in guessing Fenris' colour of his underpants, I've got to go and make that chilli, see y-"

Bethany interrupted, "I can stay and talk though whilst Hazel makes our dinner!"

Kimi rolled her eyes, "Fine! I'll make it by myself, seeing that my own sister is more popular than me…"

"Maybe if you actually _bothered_ to try and converse with other people at school, you might have ended up with friends - instead of watching those cartoons at lunchtimes…"

"They _aren't_ cartoons! And after we moved here from Ferelden no one wanted to talk to me, they all thought I had 'the blight', they called it… even though one year after we moved they made a vaccine for the Maker damned pandemic…" she whined.

"Seriously? My classmates just thought I was the attractive new girl with a Ferelden accent…" said Isabella.

Kimi and the said woman, despite living in the same area of Lowtown, both went to different schools when they migrated from Ferelden to Kirkwall. Isabella ended up in a much better school than herself, and multiple times she asked her mother if she could transfer to a different one due to being bullied constantly. Despite that, Kimi graduated with much better grades than Isabella.

"Oh, I just remembered! Anders, I'm _so_ sorry I forgot to go to gym on Friday… did you wait outside for long?"

He paused for a couple seconds, then laughed lightly, "No, it's fine, I figured that you just forgot about carpooling - I didn't wait that long so don't worry..."

"Okay good," Kimi smiled, "I would have felt twice as guilty if you were waiting for an hour in the cold... okay I'm leaving for real now, bye!"

Kimi went down the stairs and into the kitchen; her mother helped her to make the chilli, which she found out tasted as good as Fenris had made it sound. She was stuffed by the time she finished eating, it was the first time that the whole house sat down for a meal since the incident with Gamlen - and it was just as awkward as then, unbearably so. Kimi vacuumed down her meal and left the table, running back upstairs again so her uncle couldn't have the chance to talk to her. She checked her phone for any more messages before grabbing her clothes from he bedroom. Kimi felt like treating herself after all that had happened, so she went into the bathroom and ran herself a piping hot bath, pouring in lavender bath salts. She spent almost an hour inside, thinking about her life, her friends' lives, their mansion, her father, and what she would do if Gamlen suddenly walked in.

' _Today has been a reasonably chilled out day… that usually means that tomorrow is going to be a lot worse, at least I'm prepared…'_

Kimi awoke to heavy banging on the door, "W-what... who is it?" she spoke wearily, barely able to keep her eyes open - she was still half asleep from falling into her slumber in a now cold bath. Her eyes were open enough to see the bathroom door open, and a figure walking into the room - but Kimi was too relaxed to care, her eyes closed again but this time they were too overwhelmed with sleep to open again. Kimi felt herself being hoisted up by large arms, material being wrapped around her and being carried out of the room.

"...Silly girl...could have drowned...would mother think of you then?" a familiar voice murmured, she couldn't make out the full sentance in her state.

She felt the temperature of the room increase, the arms let her down onto something comfy. She welcomed the softness of the fabric beneath her, falling to sleep in a matter of seconds.

* * *

 *** OSHIETE OSHIETE YO SONO SHIKUMI WO**

 **I wanted this chapter to be more relaxed than the previous ones, _it is_ set on a Sunday which _is_ a day of resting, so I thought why not. So don't think I've run out of ideas, this is just a chilled out chapter. I plan for the story to carry on into Kimi's 20's, and semi follow the canon story. I already have the next few chapters planned out so HOPEFULLY they should be published on time, unlike a couple of previous ones :')**

*REVIEWS WELCOME*


	9. Chapter 7

**CHAPTER 8! I'M SO SORRY I KEEP UPDATING LATE BUT VIDEOGAMES GET IN THE WAY… I'm so happy this fic has gotten so far… I can actually visualise the story going in so many directions - and I'm all better now! Antibiotics work wonders haha :') Also, I'm not trying to make Gamlen out as a bad guy, later on I'm going to go into why he acts the way he does later, but I can't give any spoilers away right now so you'll just have to wait and see! :'3**

* * *

"I'm Morrigan, and I have chronic menstrual cramps that make me angry all the time,"

Kimi laughed hysterically, "Okay, okay, do Zevran!"

"I do _not_ menstruate outside of the limits of the average woman! Furthermore I do not sound even remotely similar to that - and I am _not_ moody," asserted Morrigan, "But I will stay to see your impression of the Antivan."

"Hello there, pretty lady… it is I, Zevran, the man with the constant hard-on,"

Again, Kimi entered a fit of giggles, with the raven haired woman also smiling.

"Well… I cannot lie," Zevran admitted.

"GROSS! Totally and utterly uncalled for! I'd better check on the milk in the fridge to make sure it hasn't _spoiled_ , because what you said was so foul…!" screeched Morrigan, Kimi in hysterics after hearing Zevran.

The morning had started slow for Kimi, she kept herself entertained by going over scenarios if the coming weekend - it had been two weeks since the final person in the party confirmed their place for the festival. As usual however, her colleagues would always find ways to keep themselves amused; this time by doing impressions of each other.

"Damn, isn't that uncomfortable?" asked Feynriel.

Zevran laughed, "Ha! Why do you think it is that I take so many bathroom breaks? Standing next to two attractive women is _simply_ too much for a man like me! And if you paid more attention to your appearance, I could say the same for you too,"

"W-wait, I'm attractive…! Not as much as you but-"

"Ahh, but you could be, this is where you fall short. You have potential, but you shy away from it. The world is your own, grasshopper."

Morrigan whispered to Kimi, "I'd never thought I'd see the day that Zevran would be giving life advice to someone else - other than being a sexual health nurse."

"Neither could I, but he is telling the truth. Feynriel is shy for no reason, he needs to get over it - anxiety isn't a positive trait to have,"she whispered back.

"That… rings experience, am I alright to ask deeper?"

"High school - bullying, the usual that instills anxiety in young kids. I got over it once I realised not everyone is a prick and out to get me," Kimi said emotionlessly.

Morrigan hummed, "I see, 'tis true, though a majority are. It would be better to assume that everyone is a 'prick' and out to get you,"

"And why would that be better?"

"As long as you see yourself as the bigger arsehole, the world suddenly becomes more afraid of you, than you are of it." Said matter-of-factly, by Morrigan.

Kimi scoffed, "And that, my friend, is why people call you a heartless shrew."

"Perhaps I am, sometimes I lay awake at night and worry that there is no beating muscle in my chest, that I should call an ambulance for them to make sure I am not dead."

"I-is that a joke?" Kimi enquired, the atmosphere suddenly becoming cold.

"Yes. Yes it is, it seemed like a prime opportunity, but I see that my humour went over your head."

Kimi sighed with humour, "No, I just didn't expect it is all, coming from a 'dead' person."

Whilst Zevran was giving style advice to Feynriel, Morrigan and Kimi took charge of the coffee machines and cakes. The day was slightly busier than usual, but that just meant more money for the shop and a slightly higher chance of a pay raise. It was just before her lunch break that she saw out of the windows a small kitten, possibly not even 2 months old by the look of it, pacing outside of the shop. She kept watching it to see if it would go away but it looked too scared to move further from her workplace.

"Morrigan, how long has that cat been outside for?"

The raven haired woman turned her head to face where Kimi was pointing, "Hmm? Oh, I haven't the faintest."

"I think I'll go for lunch early…" Kimi said, before grabbing a small saucer and heading to the fridge to pour milk into it - suddenly feeling a presence behind her.

"You shouldn't give cats milk, it is bad for them," spoke the Antivan lowly just behind her ear. His hand removed the milk bottle from hers, his touch soft against her skin.

Kimi struggled to speak words, _'Why is he doing this?'._ She shook her head slightly in an attempt to stop herself from leaning back into his chest, _"I will NOT give him what he_ wants'.

"Oh, really? Should I just give it water, then?"

Zevran moved to her side, probably to see the look on her face, she thought, "Yes, that would be preferable,"

Kimi filled the saucer with mineral water from the drinks cabinet, thinking that somehow it would be healthier than tap water, and put it in the staff's microwave to make it lukewarm, then went outside to the kitten. At first she couldn't see it anywhere, but noticed a small fluffball cowering against the bicycle parking bars for the café. Walking slowly towards it, she bent over to take a closer look at it. It was ginger in colour, with white patches on its nose and paws, the fur looked ruffled from not being properly groomed, and it was shaking almost violently - either from fear or the cold. Kimi rested the saucer not too far from it, and encouraged it to come to her.

"Hey, hey, it's okay. Come here cutie," she held her hand in front of it to let it smell her scent, "come here, it's okay." The kitten sniffed her hand but didn't hide away afterwards. She took that as a good sign and stuck her pinky finger into the water and held it in front of the kitten as she did before; it sensed the moisture and licked it off, then stood up and walked weekly towards the water, lapping at it as if it hadn't drunk for days.

"Good girl - or boy? Oh! Definitely boy…"

"I see that Anders has rubbed off on you, be careful that you do not catch fleas."

" _Actually_ it _doesn't_ have fleas, surprisingly, but then again Hightown doesn't have much grass-" It only just registered who the voice belonged to, it was deep and husky, and she only knew one person whom that voice belonged to. She turned her head around sharply, and was welcomed by the tall man standing behind her.

"Fenris!" Kimi screeched, jumping up and hugging him tightly, her face resting against his muscled chest. She didn't know what caused her to do so, but he certainly didn't mind, hugging her with just as much force after the initial surprise.

"Hazel," he greeted in return.

She pulled away from him,"Why are you here? What can I get you? Do you prefer tea or coffee?"

He smiled at her excitement, "Coffee, and I am here to speak with you, actually,"

Kimi, not knowing how to react, stared at him with her mouth hanging slightly open. His fingers pushed her chin gently upwards to close it,"Ahh, erm, okay! Could you possibly watch the kitten for ten seconds, please?"

"How can I refuse such politeness?" He said teasingly. Kimi couldn't help but blush, for the second time that day, and walked speedingly inside the café.

"Morri'! He's back! The guy that came ages ago that I know!" she blurted, running up to the counter.

"The guy you like, you mean. Did he order anything?"

"Just a coffee, but I _might_ get him a muffin too…"

Morrigan sighed audibly, "If you think it'll win his heart then fine by me, but don't let Meredith catch you, she doesn't know you went on an early lunch break."

"Yes, okay, fine," she said hurriedly, "what do you think he'd like? He doesn't seem like the kind of guy for triple chocolate… how about white chocolate Cappuccino? Or would that be too much coffee…"

Feynriel stood beside her, keeping his distance unlike the two _other_ males, "How about just an ordinary wholegrain blueberry muffin? Sometimes it's nice to have simple things," he said truthfully.

Kimi grinned, "Why didn't I think of that!? Thanks Feynriel," she saluted the boy and grabbed the muffin and latte she had run before and walked outside. She couldn't see Fenris or the kitten where they were stood before, but turned around to see he had taken the kitten and sat on a bench closer to the warmth of the café. Kimi smiled and walked over to them, sitting on the end of the bench with the kitten in between them.

"He likes you!" The kitten walked over to Fenris at Kimi's sudden presence and curled into his lap.

"I think he is just stealing my body heat, but I'd prefer what you suggested," he smiled, stroking the tomcat's head lightly.

"Anders was _so_ right about you, you _are_ an undercover cat person!"

"I am not! I simply like all animals whilst they are babies,"

Kimi nudged his arm, "Liar… so what did you want to talk about?" She passed him his latte.

"Oh yes, I just came back from visiting Aveline when I thought to visit here as it is only a fifteen minute ride," he took a sip of the coffee, "I… have been thinking about what you said. I told her, Hazel."

"You…" Kimi didn't know what he was talking about, but then it clicked, "Ohh! About Danarius! Wait, does that mean he is here?! Shouldn't you be hiding?" Kimi panicked.

Fenris put a hand on her shoulder reassuringly and shook his head, "No, I do not think so, but it's better to be safe than sorry. I asked if she could claim the mansion as my own as I am still, legally, his son, but I cannot. So I asked if I could seek asylum here, but I am not fleeing from persecution, I'm fleeing from my step-father-"

"So what can you do?! Do you have to marry someone to stay here? I'll marry you! Let's go right now!"

Fenris laughed wholeheartedly, spilling some of the latte on the floor, "No, but if you are offering…" Kimi's heart stopped, "I am joking, she said she knows people who can get in contact with _more_ people in Tevinter, who can legally move me here. She suggested that I undergo a psychological test to prove my sanity in case Danarius argues that I am not mentally well enough to live by myself."

Kimi breathed with relief, "But what about your mansion?"

"Aveline said since Danarius hasn't visited the mansion in a while, and because the outside appearance of the home is… less than sanitary-"

"You wouldn't make a good housewife," Kimi stated.

"-hey, it isn't my house, I don't have to clean up _his_ old mess. But, due to the negative effect of the house on the surrounding area, she can get it repossessed, give the house to me, then state on official documentation that it belongs to herself when in fact it belongs to me. Danarius would lose track of where I am due to me not officially living anywhere, and with the mansion in someone else's name he wouldn't suspect me living there."

"But what if he comes, all of that isn't going to be enough if he comes to Kirkwall to find you." Kimi was still in doubt, Fenris had told her how much power he has, he seemed untouchable.

Fenris' sighed, "You are thinking very deeply about this, aren't you?" His eyes stared into hers, she knew that his eyes were green, but up close they were an even more brilliant shade - if she stared long enough she could get lost in them.

"Y-you're my friend… a close friend… I don't know what I would do if anything happened to you," she said worriedly.

Fenris put the now finished cup onto the floor and scooted closer to her, his face was inches from her own and she closed her eyes thinking he was going to kiss her. Her forehead suddenly felt a pressure against it; she opened her eyes to see that Fenris' was resting against hers, if she just moved a little they _would_ be kissing.

"Thank you, Hazel, for everything. If it wasn't for you I may have left the guild, I may have been caught by Danarius already and I wouldn't have enjoyed this very palatable drink," his breath ghosted over her face and down her neck causing chills, it smelled like the coffee he had just drank - if she kissed him she would surely be able to taste it too. _'Stop thinking about kissing him! If he wanted to he would have done it by now!'_

"I-umm got you something else, too."

He moved away from her and relaxed into the back of the bench, stroking the now asleep kitten, "You did?"

"Yeah, it's healthy and fresh so don't worry!" Kimi passed him the muffin, he gave her the smile of an ecstatic small child in return.

"Kaffas, thank you Hazel! I remember my mother and I used to make these all the time, she didn't trust my sister not to eat the batter, but she let me lick the spoon."

Kimi giggled, "My mother said I could catch salmonella if I licked the spoon, but I did it anyway, and the mixing bowl…"

"You sound like you used to be a rebellious child," teased Fenris.

"No, that was Carver, I was the innocent one! I would get the blame for everything because _he_ would frame _me_!"

Fenris chuckled, which stirred the kitten, "It sounds like a hard life, ah, the sleeping dragon awakes,"

The kitten stood up, padded Fenris' jeans then sat back down. "I don't know what to do with him, I can't bring him into the shop and I can't take the rest of the day off without notice… but I can't leave him out here in the cold to die,"

"I can take him, he obviously needs veterinary care, I can ride there quickly on my bike,"

"But… they'll take him away… I like him," Kimi uttered.

"You want to keep him? Would your mother allow it?"

Kimi looked to the floor, "No… can I at least say goodbye to him before you take him away, forever...?"

Fenris nodded, he stood up and motioned Kimi to do so too. He passed the kitten to her when she did, cradled it like a baby. Kimi couldn't help but cry a little, she only knew it for less than an hour but she was already attached to him. "Bye bye, cutie pie… I'll miss you so much, don't die, okay?" She sniffled as she wiped away her tears and passed the kitten back to Fenris. The kitten meowed as it was passed.

"I'll see you Saturday, alright? Don't cry, he'll only miss you more, you gave him a fighting chance by giving him the water," reassured Fenris.

"I-I know but I'll st-still miss him,-" she hiccuped.

Fenris sighed and wiped away one of Kimi's tears, "What if… what if I keep him? I'll let the vet check him over, then I'll adopt him."

"You would!? Oh Fenris I love you!" Kimi swung her arms around him and kissed him on the cheek, but he turned accidentally, due to the kitten fidgeting, and her lips found his mouth. She pulled back instantly, but he leaned forwards, his lips found hers again and this time she melted into them. The kiss was innocent but passionate, his hand held the back of her head keeping her in place, her hands cupped his face. It got interrupted by the kitten meowing again, they pulled apart but remained close, then Kimi saw the emotions in his eyes change. _'No, no, I know what comes next - don't say it was an accident!'_

"I-I apologise, I shouldn't have assumed-"

"No! I… possibly liked it… no, I did like it, a lot," she assured.

"I may have liked it too," he blushed, "I should go, I don't want to waste anymore of Muffin's time…"

Kimi scoffed, "You're going to call him Muffin?"

"We bonded over coffee and a muffin, I think it suits him… I'll be off then, I'll message you when I know his full condition," he said.e

"You better do! I don't want to find out on Saturday that he's been dead for five days!"

"I swear if that happens I shall go to your house and tell you in person," he declared, before putting the kitten in the top box on his bike.

Fenris smiled hopefully, stroking her cheek. "I will see you at noon on Saturday, then," before getting onto the bike and driving away. Kimi let out a breath she didn't know she was holding, and touched her lips where he had kissed her so passionately, _'My first kiss…'_

Kimi took a couple of deep breaths to calm her nerves before walking back into the café, as soon as she did she was welcomed by Feynriel and Morrigan clapping at her 'victory'.

"You have got to be shitting me! Stop clapping… we aren't even together!" She screeched.

Feynriel laughed out loud, "But you kissed and kissing is progress… don't you think?"

Kimi walked up to the counter where her co-workers were standing, she noticed that the Antivan was not present with them, but rolling out pastry - almost vigorously. She didn't think too much of it, however, thinking that him and Cousland had _another_ argument about his rent. Zevran and Cousland were very close friends, so Kimi saw it only natural that they lived together, despite both of them being interested in both sexes. However, Kimi had learned (from Zevran's ranting) that Cousland had a physical accident _and_ got fired from his company on the same day, leading Zevran to have to pay for both of their rent. _'Must have gotten into another argument… I'll stay out of it, it's their business after all…'_

"I...I don't know...he didn't say anything, but neither did I, should I have said something?"

Morrigan scoffed, "You pathetic excuse of a woman, of course! How else is he supposed to know about your feelings towards him!"

"Well I'm _sorry_ that that kiss knocked any common sense out of me! It doesn't matter, anyway…he would have said something if he felt the same way, it was an accident and I shouldn't have assumed that it was anything more," Kimi said softly.

"I am glad that you think so," Zevran approached the group, "you shouldn't have assumed, it is just as you said."

"Zevran! Don't discourage her like that, he might have been just as nervous as Kimi was and too scared to reply or explain himself," Feynriel reasoned.

" _Or_ it was a complete accident and the man was too embarrassed to say anything!" Zevran spat.

" _Or_ the _mighty_ Zevran is jealous and does not want Hazel to make a move on him," said Morrigan, which shut up both Zevran and Feynriel, and made Kimi freeze so hard that she couldn't even nervously laugh.

Zevran huffed, throwing his hands into the air and returned to rolling out pastry, "That is the utmost furthest from the truth, and you know it, _Morrigan_ , do not trouble yourself with such fantasies…"

"Oh, but they aren't mine, elf." She retorted. The air was thick with awkwardness, Kimi had to escape it somehow.

"Woah! I somehow still have five minutes of my break left!" She broke the silence, striding over to the sandwich bar, "I think I'll have cheese and pickle today,"

Zevran chuckled, obviously wanting to disperse the tension, " _Pero_ you choose the _exact_ same flavour every day,"

" _That's_ because all the other sandwiches are either gross or too unhealthy..." she pouted.

The workers soon resumed to their roles and Kimi sat down to eat her sandwich, avoiding all eye contact with the Antivan, _'If what Morrigan said is true… no, it can't be, he flirts with everyone…'_

* * *

The day couldn't have finished slower enough; Kimi grabbed her gym bag and phone, put away her apron and ran out of the café but slowing down to a jog afterwards. Thoughts about what had previously occurred flooded her mind, _'What if Fenris feels the same way? What if he doesn't, how am I supposed to shut off my feelings? Oh Maker, and if Gamlen finds out! Will he be jealous? Would he try to take my virginity first? Would Fenris intervene and threaten him to leave me alone?'_

Kimi entered the gym after her striding there in record time, scanned her keycard and went into the changing rooms to put on her exercise clothes. She spent two hours burning her muscles until they couldn't work anymore; cross training, sit ups, weight lifting, push ups - not realising her phone had been ringing for twenty minutes. A hand tapped her shoulder, she turned around to see a muscular blonde man hand her mobile to her.

"Oh! Thanks Cullen,"

"No problem, don't work yourself too hard Hazel," he said.

"Ha! You know me,"

He sighed, "Yes, but there is a difference between working out and working yourself out,"

Kimi stepped down from the running machine, her legs nearly buckling beneath her, "And I told you, I'm fine."

Cullen placed his arm under hers for support, "If you say so, but make sure you rest."

They walked to the women's changing area, "I will, thanks Cullen." Kimi got changed and called Anders to let him know she was coming outside before getting changed back into her other clothes, barely keeping her balance. She exited the building and hopped into Anders' car that pulled up outside.

"Maker, Hawke you can barely walk!"

"Just drive."

"I'm a _doctor_ Hawke, I know when someone has pushed themselves too far - you've pushed yourself over the edge!"

Kimi felt herself snap, "Well what do you expect? Huh? I live in a house that isn't my own, trying to get enough money to move _my_ family out of it, whilst my uncle drinks himself to _death_ every night, my sister is dating someone nearly _ten_ years older than herself-"

"H-hawke,"

"No!" she interrupted him, "Meaning that you could lose your job, everything you've worked for could go down the drain, and _then_ Fenris out of nowhere _kisses_ me - doesn't even explain himself, if he has feelings for me, nothing! Just walks away, then as soon as I walk back inside the Maker damned café _Zevran_ , of all people Zevran, acts like I've just cheated on his sorry arse because he may or may not be _jealous_! How am I supposed to deal with all of this?! Everyone should be happy that I'm working myself out rather that straight out _killing myself_! I could have done that a _long_ time ago but nobody thanks _me_ for that! And then! Then! My dad's death may have been a police cover up! The person who killed my dad is out there, enjoying life, whilst my whole life goes to _shit_ because he isn't here anymore! I-if he was h-here…"

Tears rolled down her cheeks as she felt herself be pulled into Anders' chest, his hand rubbed in a circular motion on her back. "Look Hawke, first of all what happens between me and Bethany doesn't involve you, it's my responsibility what happens, if I get caught it comes down on me, not you. I am going to wait until she is sixteen to meet her in person anyway. Everything else? Everything else is just trivial. Your uncle drinking himself to death is _his_ problem. Fenris' feelings towards you he needs to figure out for himself, but I think he isn't the kind of person to do anything if he didn't mean it. I don't know who Zevran is, but if he is in fact jealous then he needs to figure out his feelings too. Your financial situation is the only real problem here, I'd say tell Bethany to get a part time job, a paper round, for example, so she can help out a long with you. You don't _have_ to get an expensive house, just a nice, cheap simple three bedroom house is fine _and_ achievable. See? Trivial problems," he said reassuringly.

"B-but what ab-bout my dad…" she hiccuped into his chest.

"Tell Aveline to look into it, she'll find out if there has been a cover up, stop overthinking everything - you'll get wrinkles…"

Kimi leaned back into her seat and rubbed her eyes clean, "I don't care about wrinkles…"

The drive back to her house was uneventful, Kimi played Anders playlist and they sat in silence. Anders occasionally commented on every bad driver that drove past them and she would laugh as he did. When they arrived at her house she bid him farewell and watched as he drove off. As she approached her front door she heard cheering from outside, confused she put her bag on the floor and opened the door to find her mother jumping up and down with a lottery ticket in her hand.

"How much did you win?" Kimi asked. Over the past week Leandra had resulted to buying lottery tickets to pay off the money for their mansion, though her highest win was three hundred septims. Kimi was angry at her mother's gambling but it was doing less harm than Gamlen.

"One hundred septims! This means all together we have twenty thousand septims with yours and my savings!"

Kimi offered a smile, "Don't let Gamlen hear you, he'll take it all and go to the Blooming Rose and buy the most expensive prostitute."

"Don't say such things darling, he isn't that bad. He used to be a good person, now his addiction has turned him into someone different entirely - he can't help it. In fact, I was thinking of bringing him with us if we get the mansion bac-"

"No!" Kimi shouted without thinking.

Leandra scoffed, "What has he done to you? He is family whether you like him or not, how can you be so selfish…"

Kimi stomped her feet on the floor, "He can't come with us, he can't!" She ran upstairs to her bedroom whilst her mother continued to shout.

"How can you be so _selfish_ you silly girl!"

Kimi slammed the door shut and slid her back down it. The thought of Gamlen moving with them, molesting her for the rest of his days brought bile to the back of her throat. She stood up and flopped onto her bed, pulling out her phone to play another level of _Tetris_. Ten minutes into playing she got a notification.

 **Fenris [broody_elf], 18:27PM**

\- I apologise for the late reply.

\- The vet said that Muffin is severely malnourished and dehydrated, but he will survive.

\- He is required to stay there until he has regained weight, they said up to a week.

 **Kimi [kimi_chan], 18:28PM**

\- I'm so happy!

\- I can't wait until you can take him home :)

\- What if he gets better whilst we're up Sundermount?

 **Fenris [broody_elf], 18:28PM**

\- Told them that I would be away from Saturday to Tuesday.

\- The vet said they can keep him there for an extra charge, I didn't mind.

 **Kimi [kimi_chan], 18:29PM**

\- Nooooo

\- I'll pay you if it costs more

\- I'm the one who organised this whole thing anyway

 **Fenris [broody_elf], 18:29PM**

\- That would be most kind of you.

\- Thank you Hazel. :-)

\- I was informed by Anders that you overworked yourself at gym today?

' _Not another person!'_

 **Kimi [kimi_chan], 18:30PM**

\- Yep

 **Fenris [broody_elf], 18:30PM**

\- I sense that you did this on purpose.

\- Was it because of me?

' _Why would he think it's because of him? Oh! The kiss… Oh Fenris…_

 **Kimi [kimi_chan], 18:30PM**

\- No

\- Yes

\- A little…

\- You didn't tell me how you felt

\- I don't know if it was an accident or if you meant it…

 **Fenris [broody_elf], 18:31PM**

\- I can assure you it was not an accident.

\- I am unsure of how I feel, although part of me is possessive of you.

\- The thought of another man being close to you angers me.

 **Kimi [kimi_chan], 18:31PM**

\- Oh

\- Listen Fenris

\- I'm gonna be honest with you

\- I like you and if you don't know how you feel about me then I'll wait until you do know for sure

\- I'll wait however long it takes

 **Fenris [broody_elf], 18:32PM**

\- That is…

\- I do not deserve your generosity.

\- I promise I will not make you wait much longer.

\- In fact, I shall tell you by this weekend.

' _This weekend?! Why so soon?!'_

 **Kimi [kimi_chan], 18:33PM**

\- What?!

\- Ahh okay :)

\- I have another reason to look forward to this weekend then! haha :')

 **Fenris [broody_elf], 18:33PM**

\- As do I :-)

\- I cannot help to feel a sense of excitement.

\- I have not felt this way about someone before, it is strange.

\- I have to go, Varric is messaging me about helping to raid a Qunari hideout.

\- Oh, the drawbacks of being a high level player 8-)

 **Kimi [kimi_chan], 18:34PM**

\- Oh, how egotistical men are so unattractive :'/

 **Fenris [broody_elf], 18:34PM**

\- That is not how you truly feel.

\- I saw how your eyes were looking at me when Isabella and the Mage made me strip. I could bet money on you 'not finding me attractive'...

\- I can bet that you are blushing in this moment at the memory ;-)

' _How does this man know me so well, I even turned away from the computer at the time!'_

 **Kimi [kimi_chan], 18:34PM**

\- STOP

\- *blushes furiously*

 **Fenris [broody_elf], 18:35PM**

\- Hahaha

\- I thought so.

\- I must go now, I cannot wait to see you on Saturday.

 **Kimi [kimi_chan], 18:35PM**

\- Me too :-)

\- I mean, I look forward to seeing you as much as everyone else

\- I haven't even SEEN Merrill in person, I bet she's taller than me too :(

 **Fenris [broody_elf], 18:35PM**

\- What do you mean?

 **Kimi [kimi_chan], 18:36PM**

\- Weren't you online when everyone was comparing height?

\- I'm the shortest apart from Varric

\- I'm 5'4…

\- Isabella is 5'5 same as Anders, that's how I remember it ahah :')

\- I can't remember Aveline but it's taller than them

 **Fenris [broody_elf], 18:36PM**

\- It appears I beat the Mage again :-)

\- I really must go, Varric is threatening to hack into my account and change my username again

\- I should change my password just to be sure…

\- Goodbye Hazel xx

' _TWO KISSES! This must mean he likes me too, right? Wait…'_

Kimi looked back through the messages.

'I like you… I'll wait however long it takes…'

"I actually said that?!" she screeched, "Fuck! I confessed to him!" She threw her phone across her bed, _'This can't be happening… isn't the man supposed to confess first?'_

A knock sounded from the door before she could reply to him, Kimi told whoever it was to come in, "Hey, sis," Bethany uttered.

"Hey, I spoke to Anders today," Kimi said suggestively

Bethany inhaled sharply, "And? What did he say?"

"He said that he doesn't care if he gets caught with you, and that you're going to be sixteen next year so you can do whatever you want with him then, I have no right to tell you what you want to do."

"So?"

Kimi sighed, "So if you get Anders fired it's not my problem, it's none of my business…"

"So you approve of… this?"

"I don't approve, no. I'm saying do what you want. You two obviously have something strong, because Anders is balancing his career on whatever you two have. So I'll leave you two to it-"

"Oh, Hazel!" Bethany threw herself at her sister, piling on top of her and hugging her.

"Bethany, I can't breathe! Get off!"

"I knew you'd come around, I knew it! When me and Anders have babies I'll name one after you!"

Kimi choked on air, "NOT ANYTIME SOON PLEASE!"

"Erm, obviously…" Bethany got off of Kimi and grabbed her DS before leaving.

"That Maker damned girl…" Kimi whispered, reaching for her phone again to look at her social media - when she felt the air around her change. Gamlen had _visited_ Kimi so many times that she could now somehow sense whenever he would _visit_ her, and she could feel him approaching. True to her Gamlen-senses, the door began to knock. She got up to open it, taking her jumper off already. The man stood on the other side of the door and barged his way in, locking the door behind himself and scooping Kimi up, throwing her onto her bed. In any other context, it would have been a romantic gesture. She removed her leggings and bra and proceeded to bite her skin in various places.

"Why aren't you taking your own clothes off…" she murmured, to which he replied with a grunt.

"I'm gonna have to take them off anyway," she pressed, trying to get the act finished quickly, but he still didn't reply, towering over her still. She laid on the bed whilst he tried, and failed, to get make her damp between her legs.

"Why aren't you doing anyth-"

"Shut up, girl, let me have my fun and _shut_ _up_."

"If you're gonna rape me then just do it," she said firmly, reaching for his t-shirt and lifting it off of him - freezing when she looked at his hairy torso. Bruises stretched from the top of his chest to his abdomen. "Gamlen!" she whispered harshly, "How did you get these?"

"It is non of your concern!" he whispered back, pinning her arms above her. She shook him off and scooted underneath him, lunging for his trouser belt and unbuckling it with one swift, practiced, motion, and almost tearing them off of him. Gamlen tried to push her away but that only aided her, his trousers rested at his knees revealing even more bruises. Kimi gasped, not sure whether to be happy or concerned that her uncle was getting a beating. Gamlen laid on his back in defeat, with Kimi moving to straddling his hips to get a closer view of the bigger bruises scattering his chest.

"Who did this? Gamlen?" she pressed, stroking a purple patch just above his belly. He flinched but didn't make a move to remove her.

"You just think I'm a bum who drinks away his financial problems. I have a life! Not a good one, no, but I have a life, I try to make money, I've had to go low, way low, to try and pay these bills because I didn't have _mummy_ and _daddy_ to hand me money whenever I wanted it. Sometimes these methods backfire on me," Gamlen ranted.

Kimi slammed her fist to his torso, "Cut the _crap_ and tell me how you got these bruises!"

"I've been dealing drugs, lyrium… I stopped a while ago because it was too risky, but _some_ people didn't want me out of the business, thought I would snitch on them or something, I don't know… I think they know I'm not gonna talk now…"

"...Gamlen," Kimi whispered, she didn't know what to do, so she leaned over and kissed the bruise she was stroking.

"H-hazel… what are you doing?"

"Making you feel better… what does it look like?"

Gamlen struggled beneath her and she kissed downwards, "No, Hazel, this isn't-"

"Normal? Right?" her breath spreading across his skin, "How ironic… as soon as I want you, you push me away…" her mouth lowered to his grey curls, kissing his hardening member.

He stopped moving beneath her and leaned back into the bed, "No, I was going to say comfortable, this isn't comfortable…" he tapped her naked reer, "bring your arse up here…"

"Hmm? Like this?" she turned around, waving her butt in his face. His finger stroked her intimate area, she didn't know why, but his touch actually felt… pleasurable this time?

"Just like that… suck it." She did as he said and ceased stroking his cock, lent over and sucked down to the base of his cock. "Mmmm, just like that, keep going…" Gamlen moaned, the tip of his finger pressing into her slightly. She resisted at first, but she was deeply aroused and not knowing why. She should be disgusted, angry, but seeing him so desperate made her want to have power over him. So she lowered herself onto his finger, but sucked harder on his cock. It felt painful slightly, but it was replaced with a need. Kimi sucked fasted as she felt herself getting more and more wet. "You're bleeding, shit I ripped your hymen, stop!"

"No… keep going," she moaned, "finger me, Gamlen." His fingers moved faster, his thumb rubbing in circles against her clitoris. "Mmmh… more…" she purred against his member and he stuck another two fingers inside.

"You're so wet…" Gamlen whispered as he licked up her juice and blood.

"Yeah? So are you…"

"Hazel, I'm close - do you want my cock inside you?"

Kimi moved in time with his fingers, riding them harder, "Fuck off and go harder,"

Gamlen chuckled, "I thought not… I'm coming now," he grunted as his semen squirted into her mouth. She swallowed it and rolled off of him, she could see her blood smudged across his face. The reality of what just happened sank in and she started to panic, "You're still, technically, a virgin, I only fingered you - and you did ask me to," Gamlen said.

Kimi couldn't manage to speak, so she nodded and put her clothes back on, passing Gamlen his. He put on his clothes and left, leaving Kimi alone in the room with an ache in her abdomen. She searched for her phone, which she found face down on the floor, "Shit… it fell off the bed…", she picked it up to find a large crack stretching from one corner of the screen to the other. Her cheeks began to wetten, she held it tightly and ran to out of the room to the bathroom, locking the door behind her. She sobbed quietly placing a hand on her throbbing abdomen, deja vu hit her. Kimi opened her contacts on her phone and tapped the screen, leaving it on the kitchen sink as it rang through.

 ***A/N: INTENSE SELF HARM AHEAD… THIS IS YOUR TRIGGER WARNING, SCROLL PAST UNTIL YOU SEE THE NEXT BOLD TEXT TO SKIP ON***

"Kimi? Why are you calling sweetie? Make it quick I'm dueling Aveline, haha,"

Kimi rummaged behind the bathtub, finding a piece of the cracked tile from when she punched the wall. She sharpened it on the floor.

"Hawkey? Hello? You're kinda scaring me,"

"Izzy… I did something stupid…"

The phone line went quiet, she finished sharpening the shard of tile and sat on the floor, pulling her leggings down.

"Kimi, stop."

"No, I deserve this,"

"What happened? You can tell me, you don't need to do this… you went so long without this," Isabella said worryingly.

"I gave it to him, there was blood, I don't know what came over me… it hurt," Kimi sobbed.

Isabella gasped, "It wasn't your fault, people do stupid shit when they're horny-"

"Not with fifty year old men, Izzy!" she pressed the shard deeper into her skin.

"That doesn't matter Kimi, look, he's a bastard who tricked you into it somehow…"

Blood pooled at the tip of the shard, "He- he got beaten up by a gang, I felt _sorry_ for him-"

"Exactly! It wasn't your fault, don't do this you could get an infection, hit an artery or something," Isabella persuaded.

"No, no I can just use his Maker damned alcohol to sterilise it," she spoke as she slashed her leg lightly, causing the skin to open and blood to flow out of it. The cut was just deeper than superficial, but it still stunk and Kimi hissed.

"You did it, didn't you? Okay you did it once, you can stop now…"

"No. He said he didn't take my virginity because he 'just fingered me', but why does it _hurt_?" she sliced again, this time deeper.

She could hear rustling and tapping from the other side of the phone, Kimi lifted herself up and grabbed her mobile from the sink and sat back down, pressing it to her ear. "Izzy what are you doing?"

"You aren't listening to me, but you'll listen to Aveline."

Kimi looked at her phone screen, seeing that the call became a conference call.

"NO!" She shouted, hanging up the phone before Aveline could speak.

"...Yes,"

Kimi stopped cutting, dropping the shard in defeat, "I'm not ready to tell her yet Izzy..."

Isabella huffed in anger, "You're on the verge of _killing yourself_ , don't be like this, please..."

"It's… it's my fault that he fingered me, I'm to blame,"her mind became less foggy.

"Do you really think that? He persuaded you to, took advantage of you in a lustful state,"

Kimi looked down to her bleeding leg, "Yes, I can't believe I hurt myself over this... what's happening to me?"

Isabella cooed to her, "Kimi, nothing is happening. You're reaching breaking point and if you don't tell someone soon you'll go too far."

"O-okay... but after Satinalia I'll tell her."

"I'll be with you, if you want,"

Kimi remained silent for a while, before speaking, "Yes, I think I'd like that..."

"Good! Now clean yourself up, can I hang up or do you need me still?" Isabella asked.

Kimi shook her head as if talking to Isabella's face, "No, you know I've done this before, I know how to clean myself up."

Isabella laughed weakly, "Of course, how could I forget the last time you self harmed was when you first joined the guild..."

"How could I forget that I decided to start cutting without turning off the webcamera, thank the Maker that it was only you watching..."

"In a way, I'm glad I forgot to switch off my webcam' too... this in a weird kind of way is our little secret - apart from Fenris, but he's a guy," Isabella spoke humorously.

Kimi picked up her phone and left over alcohol from the under-sink counter and limped into the bath tub. She hugged the phone in between her shoulder and ear and poured the alcohol over the cuts. "In a very weird way, you mean."

"I guess, if it wasn't for me then who knows what would have happened."

She grabbed her leggings and soaked them in alcohol too, folded them in half and wrapped it tightly around the wound, tying it.

"No need to get so big headed over my wellbeing, Izzy... anyway I've finished cleaning myself up, so you can get back to whatever you do..."

"Wow, it's like you're rejecting me... I'm kidding, I think Varric and Fenris just warped back to - no way! Varric just said him and Fen cleared out a Qunari hideout!"

Kimi laughed, stepping out of the bathtub, "Old news, Fenris already told me that Varric was begging him to..." She got a towel and soaked it under the sink before mopping up the bloody puddle on the floor.

"Oh, well Fenris is now a level ninety eight and Varric level eighty seven, I can't say I'm not jealous..."

"Hah! Play the game then, instead of whisper chatting to random hot avatars," _'All clean! Not a spot of blood to be seen...'_

 ***TRIGGERING CONTENT FINISHES***

Kimi mopped up the blood from the tiled floor until is was cleaner than it was before. She checked the time on her phone, which read nine o'clock.

"I do, but I'll let you go to bed now, if you weren't planning to sleep just yet then I'm officially forcing you to," Isabella teased.

" _I was_ planning to sleep after this, it's what I usually do after... you know..."

Isabella sighed, "Yep, okay, g'night - the more time you talk with Fenris I swear you catch his broodyness, you know that?"

"I think I am, its time we should team up and ambush him, beating the broodyness out of him," Kimi said mischievously.

"Defo', we'll talk later."

"G'night," Kimi said. She limped over to the sink and washed her face, removing her now smudged eye makeup, and walked quickly to her bedroom making sure not to get caught in her state. Upon entering the room Kimi looked toward her bed and saw there was some brown blood on her bed-sheets, and nearly vomited from the memory.

' _I'm having deja vu again…'_ she thought, climbing into her sister's bed and lied next to Bethany, who fell asleep holding her phone in a conversation with Anders.

' _What if I go all the way next time? Are my friends always going to be there when I need them?'_

* * *

 **ANOTHER DEPRESSING CHAPTER YAY! I'M SORRY I KEEP UPDATING LATE I PROMISE THIS WILL BE THE LAST LATE CHAPTER.**

 **ALSO I swear it'll get more interesting if this chapter wasn't your thing, this is the 'lowest' Kimi gets, after this chapter her mental state improves a lot, I felt she needed to hit rock bottom one more time for her to get better.**

 **I DON'T ENDORSE SELF HARM, IF YOU DO SELF HARM THEN PLEASE GET HELP FROM A PROFESSIONAL. SELF HARM DOESN'T SOLVE ANY PROBLEM.**


End file.
